agirlwhowritesfanfiction
(she/her) sanders sides and qsmp fan
208 posts
Latest Posts by agirlwhowritesfanfiction
once more, with feeling
876 words
it's not exactly the same every time. it's altered by what they went through, and why they’re asking, and how it all ended. but it's always close enough that it may as well be the same.
100% inspired by this incredible post by @thirdtimed! it had me by a chokehold i had to do something about it
it's not exactly the same every time. it's altered by what they went through, and why they’re asking, and how it all ended. but it's always close enough that it may as well be the same.
the first time, it was unprecedented.
blood on his hands, tears in his eyes, we expected it to be over—a failed experiment, one that only he would ever remember to save the others the pain. too much grief wracked his body for him to even choke out the words for a long while, but we waited. it isn't an unusual thing for us to do, to wait.
smearing sand on his sunburned face, he wiped away his tears and said,
"give me another chance."
the second time, we were curious.
shaken and silent, he stared into our face for a long while, as if trying to decipher what in void we were. the crown of crystals were still and a kind of grey that isn’t truly grey, but every colour at once, and his breathing was shallow. the bloodlust drained from his eyes, leaving them as grey as the crown.
we asked, because he would not have thought to answer otherwise. he flinched, and hesitated.
"i.. can i see them again?"
the third time, it was almost expected.
still smoking from the explosion, she sunk to her knees, sobbing and clutching herself as if she feared literally falling apart. it took a long while for her screams of grief subsided, and longer still for the weeping to fade into sniffing and hiccups. she hadn't looked at us once, as if she didn't know we were there, but we did not wish to interrupt—she was entitled to her unraveling in private.
wiping her eyes, she didn’t bother to compose herself much more. she lifted her face, littered with gashes and scars, and with agony in her voice-
"i want my friends."
the fourth time.. well, it was a little surprising.
a victor had not yet arrived so high on adrenaline and confidence, and the blood that stained even his mouth seemed to be a trophy. the sword had not left his hand, and still dripped with what remained of the last two, the drops vanishing into the abyss below. he was grinning, and this was the most surprising part.
not needing any persuasion or suggestion, he looked us right in the eye—as none had done before, crowing,
"come on, give us another go!"
the fifth time, it wasn't the request that was new.
alone in a field of sunflowers is where we eventually found him, after waiting fruitlessly for his arrival. he startled a little as he realised we were there, but soon calmed at the understanding of what we meant for him. after all, it had been almost a year since he became stranded—and stranded was the word for it. the shawl was still the red and purple of the flowers he had once given to his partner, and we suppose one could say they started this whole chain of events.
setting aside his gardening tools, he smiled almost sadly. perhaps he would miss what had become his prison, despite everything it signified. he sighed,
"i think i’d like a better try at companionship."
the sixth time.. it almost didn’t count.
surprised to have even been considered for a crown, they laughed in delight when the paper version settled on her head, clearly pleased with our creative flair. we were pleased as well—it isn’t often creative flair ends up being a positive part of our abilities. they looked around, as if deciding whether or not the place was real, and seemingly settled on an answer. we didn’t ask what the answer was.
adjusting the paper crown, she laughed, clearly finding the whole situation amusing. when we asked, they seemed to be even more surprised.
"i get to choose? well- let's do it again!"
the seventh time, it became amusing. they did know they could choose something else, did they not?
whooping and throwing his arms around in celebration, came the second victor to be genuinely pleased by his victory and subsequent death. he spent a considerable amount of time pretending he was at an awards show, thanking his family, his wife, his best friend and so on. it was refreshing, after all that misery we witnessed at the beginning of the games, to see the tides changing. especially with him; rage used to be his fuel. now it seemed to be love.
grinning up at us, he waited for something. perhaps one of the others had mentioned it, but he did not seem surprised when we asked.
"what do i want? of course i want more!"
the eighth time, we don’t have to even introduce ourselves.
considerably more pleased than he had been the first time, he seems to think that taking his own life was the ultimate show of power against us. of course, we have changed our ways since his game, but he is not to know that. like his predecessor, he too seems amused by the paper crown.
cracking his knuckles, and stretching his neck, we already know what he’s going to say, but we let him ask it.
"one more time."
the tragedy of !badboyhalo, (why his nature is good, not evil)
Okay I'm going to rant abt !bbh (tr!bad and q!bad) cuz i have so many thoughts. normally I put them on twitter but that's too short of a wordcount LOL (based on the little short animatic I did on the "what do you want to be when you grow up?" "kind" audio)
So, beginning with a recap of lore relevant to my post in case some people don't know, starting with bad's home being heaven. We know he was there for a time unquantifiable by human standards, as he was "outside of time" before being booted from heaven onto earth. We also know from recent lore that bad's job has something to do with destruction, killing and possibly bringing about the end of the world. He started this when he made all the dinosaurs extinct, but apparently, he was too early, and heaven(?) locked him away under the Euphrates River in a void-like pit for about a thousand years. Then bad either escaped or was let free, and has roamed the earth for roughly 15,000 years until now, where it seems that his role of destruction is finally ready to be played. Or at least, that's why he's building the cathedral, to get a message from heaven to see if its time to proceed. We also know his kids are waiting for him in heaven, and he probably can't return to them until he completes this mission.
NOW. onto my headcanons and theories. I like to think that bad wasn't always meant for this role, or there was a period of time where he was unaware he'd have to do this. Then, either as a punishment for something he did, or simply because heaven unluckily chose him, bad was turned into an angel of death/fallen angel/angel of the apocalypse. (hence my design changes of him looking like a basic angel and then changing)
I find this so interesting because, despite the selfishness, talk of killing and being insane, and this being his default nature, I disagree completely. His nature isn't to kill, or at least it wasn't something he chose himself. I think that was a result of when he was given his mission and over the period of time under the Euphrates and his 15,000 years of losing people he loves over and over and over and over. Because that sort of thing ruins even the best people, and the fact that bad still has some good in him even after all of this shows just how much "evil" ISN'T his true nature. If it were, then he wouldn't still make attachments, he wouldn't get sad when people die, he wouldn't drink himself into oblivion to cope with the pain of losing people.
If killing were his true nature, he wouldn't care what happens to people around him. But he DOES. Even after everything that's happened to him, he still cares, and that is heartbreakingly beautiful. He knows and says all the time how every mortal he cares about will die, maybe even by his own hand, but he loves anyway. He just can't help it.
His job, his purpose that is forced on him, is to kill and destroy, but deep down, he doesn't even seem to really want to!! Sure, he likes chaos, or the occasional kill, but only when it's not permanent. He doesn't find joy in taking life permanently. You can even look at the pranks he does; he never is truly destructive, only wanting to cause chaos in a way that won't genuinely hurt the other person.
He would never admit it either, to everyone else, he keeps up the perception of someone who kills for fun and doesn't give a shit about any living creature other than himself. Tr!water is right about the way bad lies, because when he says those things, he's lying to himself as well. Trying to convince himself that he doesn't care and he's not like that, because what the hell is he supposed to do? How could he physically cope with the fact that he's always going to love people and he's going to lose them every single time for all of eternity? That's the kind of thing he'll only admit when he's five bottles deep in Mike's lemonade.
That is the tragedy of !badboyhalo. If he were inately evil, his life would be a whole lot easier, wouldn't it? But he isn't, and he's going to keep loving and caring forever because if he hasn't lost that part of him yet, I don't think he ever will, and that is the most upsetting part of his character to me. Born to care, but created to destroy.
Something about almost everyone on the realm treating tr!badboyhalo like he’s a resource to be fought over and weighed and bartered for and bought. It always ends up like this.
The amount of people who don’t watch any Green povs and entirely misconstrue the characters and their dynamics and treat their perspectives as fact is craaaazy to me
Like, sure, Green isn’t as “united” as Yellow or Blue might seem to be. Green doesn’t have an objective leader; the closest is Bad, and he doesn’t even really acknowledge himself as any sort of leader because doing so would go against Green’s very core philosophy: freedom of choice.
The Green Faction was originally formed to spite Foolish. It was also formed specifically to protest against the monarchy seemingly trying to rule over the entire server. (To this day, we have King Foolish saying that he’d have everyone under his rule besides Bad, sooooo…)
Green Team is made up of anti-monarchists who prioritize their own actions above anything else. They all just kinda do what they want, which is what the faction was specifically created for. They don’t have to answer to anybody, everyone is their own king or supreme leader. Bad can kill the King. Pangi can kill Pili. Hannah can hang out with Aimsey. Pac can steal. Lukey can build an illegal meth alchemy lab.
And yet Green Faction tries to hold elections for important faction business like Owen’s Whole Thing. When Pangi wants to do something extreme, he always goes to Bad for his opinion. Hannah tells Pangi about the secret deals she made with the Keepers. Bad makes sure that everybody is geared up with the most OP stuff possible, and he builds enormous Things for the purpose of bringing the faction together (and making them look cooler than the Kingdom lol.)
Green always tries to keep at least one member of the faction in the loop of what’s going on. While they may only have one common goal, screw with the Kingdom, what lies at the heart of the faction are the individuality of the members and the bonds they share. They’re all friends, they all look up to each other, and they’ll all work together if one member asks for help.
As for Owen, he’s a temporary member. That was agreed upon way back after the End event, he isn’t going to stay on Green. But even he fits in, what with his whole Individuality And Chaos thing. The difference between him and the rest of Green is that the others trust each other and are extremely loyal. Owen, meanwhile, is kinda just hanging out and mumbling to himself as he plots and schemes.
Sure, it might be the least unified faction on the surface, but anybody who watches even a second of any of their POVs can see how unified they really are. They’re anti-authority freedom fighters united in a goal to help the server’s weak and spread the ideas of whimsy, joy, and individuality to a server filled with kings and supreme leaders and Keepers and snails.
(You might say that they can’t be individualistic if they’re in a faction, but it’s easier to think about it like they’re a unified group of anarchists. No government, but a bunch of people with the same ideology.
In short: a near-reincarnation of the Syndicate.)
(And, well. How many people have defected from/been kicked out of/been bullied out of the Green Faction?)
"Grom NIGHTmare (Sequel) Part 1"
Y'all wanted a sequel to the sequel of a sequel of that Grom comic? You got it! 🤣😭
I'm gonna separate this thing again in to 3 parts again 'cause tumblr hates many images- (this thing is 28 pages)
Part 1 (Here) // Part 2 // Part 3 (Final)
BUY ME A MILO COFFEE?
CHAPTER 14
Hello! Welcome to Double Hearted Volume 2. Thank you so much for all the support and patient for this part, it means the world to us.
Volume 2 is the official start of the chronological timeline for Double Hearted. Therefore, every new part will be important to understand the story. Can't wait to continue with the comic! And I hope you all continue supporting us with this project, this wouldn't have been possible without your support!
PREV // MASTERPOST // NEXT
If you like what we do, feel free support me on Ko Fi !
Double Hearted (DDVAU) Masterpost
Welcome to the Double Hearted Masterpost, every single post that is important to the story will be found here.
Remember, if I don’t answer one question immediately, there’s a high chance it will be explained in the future, or it was already explain in comics or asks.
Feel free to ask anything !
Fanarts, Cosplays, Edits and Fanfics are VERY welcome, tag me on them or send me the link.
COMIC PARTS
Part 0 // Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 / 4.5 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Valentines Special 1 / 2 / 3 // Part 8 // Part 9 // Part 10 // Mother Spore 1 / 2 / 3 //
ASKS / QNA
Official Writing
World Building summary
Support the creators!!
Here are my Ko-fi and Maruu’s Ko-fi, for any monetary support! MONTHY MEMBERSHIP FOR EXTRAS!!!
Bad: I don’t think people understand the effect QSMP had on some of the streamers in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. [...] Imagine that you were given a friend to play Minecraft with — like your best friend — BUT if this person dies, if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Can you imagine what that’s like?
Bad: If you did not live through the QSMP, if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience the Eggs were. They were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with.
Bad: I’m not saying I regret it. To this day, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again. [...] I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, it was just that fun.
Earlier today during his stream, Bad shared his experience and thoughts about the Eggs and the significant emotional (and traumatic) impact they had on him and his fellow QSMP members.
This clip a very edited-down version since his commentary was ~13 minutes long, so I highly recommend checking out Bad's VOD if you have the time. (Timestamp: 47:36 - 1:00:14)
[ Full Transcript ↓ ]
———
Bad: To be fair Chat, I really think the QSMP... I don't think anyone really can relate to it, Chat. It's something that's so... I've told people this before, like– but it's hard to understand. Right? Like...
Where was I? Sorry Chat, I'm losing my train of thought. Look, let me explain Chat– here's the dealio, ok? Here's the dealio, and this is what I mean when I say like, it's important to keep this in mind, Chat. Ok? It's important to keep this in mind:
I don’t think people understand the effect that the QSMP had on like, some of the streamers, in terms of like… The real raw mental impact, so I’m gonna set the stage for you. This is the analogy I’ve given to every person who I’ve like, shared this with. Imagine you meet somebody– [He hears a strange noise] What the fudge was that? Did you hear that?
Anyway– Chip! The story I was just relaying to Chat, Chip, was this: I was sharing this story with them, I said– I was giving them an analogy.
Imagine Chat, for example, imagine that you were… playing Minecraft, with like– you were given a friend to play Minecraft with, Chat, like your best friend, and [unintelligible] were like, “Hey, you get to play Minecraft with this person, right? BUT if this person dies – they’re currently your best friend, Chip – but if they die in the game, you never get to talk to them again. Ever again.” Can you imagine what that’s like, Chip?
I don’t think a lot of people understand like, what that does, right? I’m not gonna say that like, it creates this situation, Chip, that like, messes with your head, but it– Chip – but it totally, totally does, Chip. It messes with your head! It literally puts you in a position where you’re second-guessing and thinking about everything, Chip! You’re thinking about EVERYTHING Chip! Ok? And that’s the problem, Chip– is you turn into a paranoid monster because of it, Chip! Like, you don’t understand Chip– I was- I was so afraid of every dirt block, I used to carry a shovel with me Chip, and I would specifically right-click dirt blocks that looked suspicious because mines, Chip– mines could not be shoveled! Like, I was crazy, Chip! But here’s the problem, Chip: that craziness is still there. I’m genuinely like–
I remember thinking Chip, that I would one day– I was like, “I’m going to move past–” here, let’s go up here, Chip. I remember thinking one day Chip, I was like, “I’m gonna move past the underground base, one of these days. You know, one of these days, I feel like I’ll be able to grow and achieve the desire to build a base that doesn’t have to be underground.” But I don’t think it’s possible now Chip, because I think… I just don’t know. I feel like the paranoia– there’s still like, residual leftover trauma from that situation, Chip.
But here’s the problem Chip: I don’t think I don’t think– I don’t think people understand it. Like, I just really don’t. But I also don’t blame them Chip, ‘cuz I don’t think it’s possible to fully understand it if you haven’t lived through it. Like, if you did not live through the QSMP… I’m talking about the QSMP, I don’t- I don’t know if that was obvious– if you did not live through that, it almost sounds like, crazy. But I don’t think people realize how much of a joyous experience like, the Eggs were. Right? I don’t think people realize it. Like, they were SO awesome! They were literally so awesome to just hang out with and spend time with, Chip. So, it’s just one of those things that–
[He’s interrupted by a loud rumble of thunder above them]
Did lightning just strike here? Is it thunderstorming out…? But anyway, Chip. That’s the food for thought.
But that’s the problem– Like, every time it rains in Minecraft, I have to like, look at the sky, and I get this weird, like, second--hand vibe because of the trauma. The trauma, Chip! The trauma is real! But that’s the point– I’m not saying I regret it. I, to this day Chip, I loved the experience. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. Even knowing how everything went, I would still do it all over again.
[He falls down] Dangit, don’t come over here Chip, ‘cuz I’m coming back up! Ok.
I would still do it all over again, because — even knowing like, all the trauma and suffering and stuff like that — because it was just… It was just that fun, Chip, it was just that fun. I really wi– I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible, Chip, to give people that same energy, like that same experience. You know what I mean, Chip? I don’t think it’s ever gonna be possible again. Like, EVER.
Because… because like, one: I will say on one level Chip, I will say on one level, like– it’s sort of emotionally like… It’s emotionally devastating, and I think to actually go through that– and this is where like, if I ever do end up going to a– see a therapist, if I ever do end up going to see a therapist at any point, I’ll talk it over with them and be like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Because I genuinely think on one level, like– it’s created this fear of forming attachments because of like, how things can go. You know what I mean? Like, the fear of getting attached to something and then potentially losing it. Like, it’s- it’s a genuine thing. I think people forget about that.
Like, at the end of the day, everything was RP, right? On the server. You know what I mean? Like, everything was RP, Chip. BUT at the same point, even though it was RP Chip, it was still like– there the reality of you were still playing like, with another person, and you were still getting that experience, and it felt like you were genuinely attached to someone and you didn’t want anything bad to happen to them. It was GENUINELY stressful, Chip.
But at the same point, I don’t regret it, and I don’t think it was a bad experience. I’m–
Sometimes in life Chip, you go through stuff, and maybe you have a certain amount of like, things that like, can happen, that you’re like, “You know what, maybe this wasn’t a good thing that this happened,” but at the same point, you still aren’t necessarily upset about it, because… it’s like growing as a person, right? Here’s the thing Chip; even bad situations, Chip, can lead to an overall good outcome. Like–
Even if you’re going through something bad Chip, just because a bad thing happens doesn’t mean that only bad things have to come from that. That’s one of the things I tell people all the time, Chip, is that if you go through a bad situation, you can learn from it, and you can use your experience to help others. And you can be that– you can be, at the worst-case scenario, you can be someone for other people who are going through that same experience to lean on when they go through that.I think there’s a certain amount of comfort that comes from that; from knowing no matter how bad your situation is, you’re not the only person who’s experienced it. You know what I mean?
through a glass divine Death Temple blueprint
so I know I promised this ages ago but I finally got around to actually making a blueprint of the temple. there are going to be a lot of screenshots because this was a big blueprint and it wouldn't have been clear from one large image so I'm going to put all of them under a read more
Main Overview
This is the general overview of the main layout of the temple. The website I was using compressed the annotation boxes a lot so if you can't read the text in some of them don't worry I'll either post zoomed in screenshots or copy it over with clearer text in the rest of the post. Make sure to click on the images to see them completely!
Also I was not even going to attempt the catacombs on this blueprint creator, but just know the catacombs are essentially a tunnel that circles around the entire temple
Okay I hope that's helpful! Feel free to send me q's about this layout!
uh hi. so i may or may not be returning to tumblr now LMAO
The really hilariously ill-conceived part of the Twitter rate limiting thing is that comments and retweets are the same kind of entity as tweets in the back-end database, they're just "parented" to whatever tweet they're commenting on or retweeting, and the rate limit they've placed on the API simply counts how many of those entities you've requested without checking a. whether they're the children of another entity or not, nor b. whether you've already seen that particular entity today.
Thus, the limit isn't really "600 tweets". A tweet, each comment on that tweet, and each retweet of that tweet all count against the limit as you view them. For example, if a quote-retweet crosses your dashboard, the quote-retweet itself and the little preview of what it's responding to that appears above it each count separately against the limit. Click into that quote-retweet to read the comments? They both get counted against your limit a second time, as does each individual comment you read – and heaven help you if any of those comments were themselves commented upon!
The upshot is that if your account isn't verified, using Twitter in the manner that its own monetisation model assumes – and, indeed demands – it will be used can easily exhaust your entire daily allocation of tweet views in as little as a couple dozen engagements.
@elliot-osks2 shit
coming back from the grave to say vote eda @elliot-osks
SBI!
but if "b" stood for bird
come on, guys… let’s teach em’ a lesson.
(dsmp x omori hooligan fight!)
your friends smile warmly behind you
wil: cmon, techno, give us a smile!
techno: …
hello tumblr. i drew some tommy and olivesleepy fanart after todays steam :)
(im only posting this here so my friend can see it lol, please go to the twitter post <3)
hi
// toh spoliers
hi i return to tumblr to ask a question for the toh fandom
how do we know that belos/philips brothers name was caleb? i keep seeing the name everywhere but i dont know where people heard it or if its just a theory
ty in advance! 👍👍
Was that the face of regret, Janus? I think that's the face of "oh shit things are so bad I wish I could lie to myself right now"
I love the fact Janus is in the tree for three reasons.
1. Biblical reference go brrrr 2. He's clearly looking out for Thomas before he addresses the viewer, as the above image shows. 3. He's away from the group but still a part of them. This showcases he's accepted more but still unwelcome in a sense. Bonus: That position is so fucking gay. This man is a homosexual.
Let Logan go batshit and murder someone 2021
Me, before WTIT: Nah, I don't think Logan will be the orange side. I mean cool theory but I don't think it'll actually happen.
Me after WTIT:
WARNING! SPOILERS FOR THE NEWEST ASIDES EPISODE.
I think Remus is going to be a huge part of Logan's arc. When he enrages Logan to the point of him yelling I think he unlocks something within the logical side. Making Logan speak up and tell Remus to stop ignoring him is a huge step for Logan.
In his backwards way I think Remus is on Logan's side 24/7. He knew that making Logan speak up for himself would be vital. Him also saying the words "Who do you really want to say those words to Logan~?" makes Logan aware of the fact that Remus knows his struggles.
Logan's eyes; more specifically the color they turned when yelling. Along with the ending where it showed only the orange eyes. That is exactly what Remus unlocked within him. Logan needed that final push.