Olaf, Bertrand, Poison Darts

Olaf, Bertrand, Poison Darts

Before Olaf ever officially met Bertrand, he had heard stories about him.  Bertrand’s chaperone thought he was an amazing, model apprentice. But that chaperone also ranked last out of all 52 VFD chaperones. Who coincidentally was also Olaf’s nemesis Snicket’s chaperone, and that was where things got interesting.

Someone who Lemony Snicket was unfavorably compared to? Olaf hadn’t even met this guy, but he decided that he’s going to like him.

When they finally met for the first time, Olaf discovered that Bertrand was quite unlike the usual VFD theater teens he encountered. Bertrand wasn’t much a literature guy, nor was he invested in poetry or theater. He didn’t quote classics in everyday life (not even wrongly or sarcastically or anything) like the rest of them.  (Perhaps that was how he got assigned to lowest ranking chaperone, Olaf thought.)

Despite his differences with the theater teens of VFD, they all turned out to like Bertrand a lot.  He was pleasant and easygoing and because of his interests were different from them, they didn’t feel the need to compete with him.  But the best thing was, he was great at building sets and props – everything the theater people needed on stage – and every fancy, overly dramatic equipment they probably didn’t need off-stage but he was nice enough to make for them anyway.  (One day, the working wings of a dragonfly costume might turn out surprisingly useful for an actress, but that was another story.)

And Olaf liked him too, just like all of them. Bertrand was the only person who wouldn’t tear his Al Funcoot plays apart, and as much as it was fun bickering with Beatrice or R about the literary references in his plays, it was great to have someone who he could spend time with that didn’t care about all those and would be glad to help make the props for the play.  (Although he did have to fight the other theater majors for his time – as if Beatrice’s bat-styled hot air balloon or Esme’s martini glass dress was more important than his demands.)

And perhaps that was why Bertrand’s part in his parents’ murder came as the most surprising of them all.  After being friends – if he could call them that – with Beatrice for so many years since their childhood, he’d known, grudgingly that she was capable of a lot of things. Mostly in the name of drama, but sometimes for things more sinister too. He’d seen her darker sides that sometimes he wondered if Snicket realized. And Kit – she followed VFD’s orders in a way nobody else could, she planned coldblooded schemes in the name of necessary evil better than anyone else. (It probably said something about their relationship that he wasn’t that surprised when his girlfriend played a part in his parents’ murder.)  But Olaf never expected it from Bertrand.

Bertrand, who got along with everyone, who was always helpful, who didn’t argue much but not in a Jerome kind of way.

He’d long known ago he shouldn’t trust actors, but perhaps the biggest lesson was to not trust the polite and practical engineers either.

In retrospect, maybe he should have known. After all, Bertrand was the one with the craftiest hands out of them all. And if he could make theater props for them, who knew what else he was able to make?

A handy little device for aiming poison darts, as it turned out.

More Posts from Alfhildr-the-word-weaver and Others

Shoutout to my Monkees mutuals for reminding me about the Monkees and their music; now I'm thinking about how She is such a season 2 Damon talking about Katherine song.

Meanwhile, 1864 Damon is of course firmly Vampire Girl by the Misfits (he would die for her, and he did).


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i ramble vampire girl the vampire diaries she damon salvatore the monkees the misfits datherine even in the tags i ramble that post defending Auntie Grizelda got me listening to them a little again and first of all She slaps and second of all Damon is singing it about Katherine. privately of course. but in his heart I like to imagine Damon would be very fond of both of these songs some people see him as a Taylor Swift fan because he mentions her but he specifically says that he *tolerates* her music to get girls the only music we canonically know he listens to is Enjoy the Silence by Anberlin and 21 Guns by Green Day. So really he's an emo well and Ask the Angels by Dead Sara in season 5 I'm trying to think of any other diegetic music Damon chose in some way. but just based on those three I'd say he's a man of taste and I like to imagine there's some diversity in what he listens to assigned Monkees fan by way of my tumblr mutuals hehehe anyways time for my monthly main blog post idk I need to bring these things more into balance. but ah well here we are I love how tumblr is just all of our obsessions bumping up against each other and sometimes meshing together I should reblog with applicable lyrics some music for my favorite terrible vampire man <3 ;) update: I was gonna pick some lyrics but nevermind it's really just the whole song although 'she needs someone to walk on so her feet don't touch the ground' hits in particular Vampire Girl is pretty lyrically straightforward but it definitely hits human Damon's devotion to her also I know it's not necessary to italicize song titles but I wanted She to stand out because I feel like if you don't know the song you might think I just capitalized a random word. so I wanted to be clear

Forget what I said before tonight’s episode about possibly wanting Isaac’s betrayal to stand for the sake of emotional intensity, by the way. Identity part 2 handled things beautifully and I couldn’t’ve hoped for better. While it might’ve been interesting to have all of Isaac’s past interactions so profoundly undermined by the realization that he was simply a genocidal Cyberman playing his role all along, it’ll be more fun in the long term to have an artificial intelligence who believed he was incapable of emotions realizing he has them and figuring out what to do with them amidst being cut off and isolated from his people, all the while having to heal the wounds his betrayal caused.

Also, human!Isaac was great and I love how his expressions are so level and robotic yet vaguely bemused with hints of wonderment. They’re just so on point for a human manifestation of an intellectually curious robot. I’m glad I can go back to enjoying him properly. 

I’d Like To Do More Than That.
I’d Like To Do More Than That.
I’d Like To Do More Than That.
I’d Like To Do More Than That.
I’d Like To Do More Than That.
I’d Like To Do More Than That.
I’d Like To Do More Than That.
I’d Like To Do More Than That.
I’d Like To Do More Than That.
I’d Like To Do More Than That.

I’d like to do more than that.


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I sat "nice try, giant worms" as my main screen and it makes me smile and chuckle every time I open my phone :) 

The general WTNV one is my lockscreen and it’s also lovely. I do love that Night Vale’s official color is purple (I have a fondness for purple if you hadn’t guessed) and of course, purple is even better with stars :)

More Wallpapers I Don’t Think I Posted. Like And Reblog If You Use!
More Wallpapers I Don’t Think I Posted. Like And Reblog If You Use!
More Wallpapers I Don’t Think I Posted. Like And Reblog If You Use!
More Wallpapers I Don’t Think I Posted. Like And Reblog If You Use!
More Wallpapers I Don’t Think I Posted. Like And Reblog If You Use!
More Wallpapers I Don’t Think I Posted. Like And Reblog If You Use!

more wallpapers i don’t think i posted. like and reblog if you use!

night vale freebies


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Attack Of The Fire Puppy :)

Attack of the fire puppy :)

(image source: http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/File:Atlantis-milos-return-disneyscreencaps.com-7761.jpg)

alfhildr-the-word-weaver - The Lande of Violet Mists

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Honestly I learned most of what I know from youtube roller skate channels like Indy Jamma Jones and Queer Girl Straight Skates! They have a lot of really helpful videos for beginners. This video from Indy was like my very first starting point; she talks about focusing on shifting your weight with your feet in a V rather than just pushing off, and thinking about it that way really helped me start to move forward without falling over.

Also, PSA, one of the first things a friend on discord told me was to always wear your wrist guards because you're most likely to break your wrist trying to catch yourself if you fall skating. Knee pads are really good too and you can use them for emergency stopping when you're starting out as well. All pads and helmets are useful in their own ways, but even now when I'm pretty comfortable and I sometimes skate without a helmet or knee pads, I still always wear the wrist guards.

Best of luck and I hope you have a fun time! :)

https://youtu.be/P5h0Kv0IJMU

I want to start learning how to roller skate... anyone have any tips for beginners?


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Currently watching this very cliche (but still decently enjoyable) Christmas movie and it has this horse girl subplot where the older sister is falling in love with horses, but there are these long, lingering shots where she's looking at this female farmhand working with the horses, and she keeps talking about how great and cool that farmhand is, and I can't decide whether it's actually a burgeoning lesbian subplot or just a heavy accidental implication, but it really does feel soooo close to overtly romantic.

Anyways my hot new ship is these two. Time to build it from the ground up ;)

Currently Watching This Very Cliche (but Still Decently Enjoyable) Christmas Movie And It Has This Horse

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He has had many excellent hairstyles but the long red hair is definitely my favorite. It looks so soft :) 

I also like how they’re all going under the backdrop like it’s their blanket fort, hehe.

Gerard Is Such A Diva I Just Love Him. 

Gerard is such a diva I just love him. 


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I'll tell you one thing about the British though is they've got me saying "advert". We were flipping channels and came to the one with the Superb Owl and I was like "oh we could check out the adverts". It just came out, but to their credit, it does sound better than ads I think. For one thing I mean at least it isn't like completely indistinguishable from abs. I dunno, there's just a flow to it; it has a nice inflection. Advert. I knew I was reading too much Doctor Who fanfic the other day, lol. I've got to be the first person to call them the super bowl adverts.


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alfhildr-the-word-weaver - The Lande of Violet Mists
The Lande of Violet Mists

Welcome, dear traveller, to our fantastical lande shrouded in swirling violet mists. Here we study how stories shape our lives, how words weave wonders before our eyes. Here we are enamoured of love and the connections betwixt people. Here we seek daring adventures in our wild lande, delving into the unknown at every turn. But mostly, here you'll find my obsession with any number of things, like Doctor Who, the Vampire Diaries, or any number of others from the ever-shifting tide of obsessions through which I cycle. My more-used sideblog is blagueofchaos if you ever wish I posted more :) She/her, 28

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