"Trust me on this. After a millisecond in the middle of the highway or free falling in midair or after kicking the chair or when your lungs are already filled with water, only then will you realize that death isn't what you wanted, that you just want to be genuinely happy again. But it would be too late. It would all be too late."
-H.Asteid
15 more seconds before midnight
I'm sitting here, staring at my phone
Thinking how to hit your phone up
Should I text you or hit the caller icon?
It's been a year since we last talked
Today, it's like my mind keeps drifting back into the memories you engraved in my heart a year ago
The Good morning texts
The later night conversations
How often we quarrel over what "we" really are
The time you told me
" I love you but I can't keep your heart."
It shattered me.
You were scared just as I was
But I never gave up on us
Sent you sonnets everyday
Sang you lullabies at night
Showed you my scars
For you, I turned myself inside out.
Still, my everything wasn't enough.
You came with the smile of October then left me alone with the gloomy November.
You left.
You left without a goodbye.
I tried to run after you in the dark
I called your name several times
On my knees, I fell to the ground
You're already gone
You're already gone.
15 more seconds before midnight
With tears in my eyes,
I put my phone down
And whispered into the void
" Happy birthday, I'm letting you go now."
-H.Asteid ,10-22
"Why would you want to be with someone who only love you sometimes?"
-H.Asteid
" This may sound crazy to you but...If she were a cliff, I won't even hesitate to take the leap."
- H.Asteid
We will survive!
Oh you better watch us thrive
Yes, you did drown our dreams
But we can dive, we can swim
We'll dragged them back up on the surface
With our famous brand of determination and resilience
We'll pick up all the shattered pieces
You see , the harder the wind blows,
the tighter we hold on
The harder you try to pulverize our hopes,
the more you give us nothing but a choice to be strong
- H.Asteid
" And my biggest mistake was loving you more than I could ever love myself."
-H.Asteid
" You gave me no other choice but to be strong."
-H.Asteid
I'm made of excerpts I personally extracted from the books I read, of songs' lyrics, of blankets and of cups of coffee.
My mind is either a gray cloud or a current of air violently whirling in a spiral.
Every night, my soul howls for the moon; my hands bleed words about tragedy and doom.
These dark brown orbs loathe mirrors but would always tear up at the sight of the sea, maple trees in autumn, of beautiful people.
And my heart only yearns for one thing. . .
To feel things in colour.
-H.Asteid
" I lost myself trying not to lose you."
-H.Asteid