Latest Posts by avaincorrectquoter - Page 5

Dark: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room.

Chosen: It’s called arson and those people are called witnesses.

Purple: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

Red: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

Chosen: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!

Second: It's kind of complicated, but Dark-

Chosen: Got it. Forget I asked.

Blue: *cocks gun* Go to bed Yellow. This is no longer a request, This is now a threat.

Dark: Who wants to make fifty bucks?

Second: How?

Dark: I need someone to take the fall.

Second: What did you do?

Dark: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Chosen, from the other room: Oh my god.

Dark: ...

Chosen: OH MY GOD!

Second: Make it a hundred.

Dark: Deal.

Purple: If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, Green!

*Neither of them die*

Green: …

Purple: …

Green: So do you wanna talk about somethi-

Purple: No thank you.

Second: Dark and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.

Chosen: What did you do?

Second: Dark chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-

Dark: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

Purple: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Blue: >:O language

Red: Yeah watch your fucking language

Yellow: Okay, who taught Red the fuck word?!

Green: 'The fuck word'.

Second: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Green: Oh my god they censored it

Purple: Say fuck, Second.

Red: Do it, Second. Say fuck.

Second: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

Dark: Please, just say fuck.

Yellow: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Dark: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Chosen: Killed without hesitation.

Primal: I lost Ballista.

Agent: How did you LOSE Ballista?!

Primal: To be fair, they are very small.

Chosen: You need to stop swearing so much.

Dark: Shut the fuck up.

Chosen: Yeah, that's not how you do it.

Dark: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it.

Chosen: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine.

Dark: Shit the beep up.

Chosen:

Dark: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

Purple: My heart is guarded but like… very poorly. The kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R rated movie.

Chosen: You are an absolute fucking dork.

Dark, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!

Chosen: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.

Yellow: Love makes people do stupid things.

Red: I love everything!

Yellow: That explains a lot.

Yellow: *very seriously* You need to stop doing weird things to cope with the stress. Going outside might help.

Red: I went to the park today.

Yellow: There you go! I hope you got something from that.

Red: *opening their coat* This duck.

Kidnapper: I have your partner.

Chosen: What? I don't have a partner...

Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face?

Chosen: Oh my god, you have Dark.

Second: So, what is Dark to you?

Chosen: The reason I wake up every morning.

Second: ...That’s adorable.

Dark earlier that morning, barging into Chosen′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

Second: A SPIDEEER!!!!!!

Yellow: KILL IT! SMASH IT!

Green: BURN IT!

Second: STAB IT! WITH A KNIFE! GET ME THE SHOTGUN!

Red: Awww, it’s so cute! Look at it!

Chosen: Damn, the power went out.

Second: Don’t worry, I got this.

Second: *stomps foot*

Chosen: What-?

Second: *Sketchers light up*

Red: Which way did Green go?

Yellow: Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess they went left.

Red: You could really figure it out from that?

Yellow: No, you idiot, Green sent me a text.

Dark: You saved me! Why?

Chosen: People would think I murdered you if I didn't.

Dark: Why won’t you all just lie down and die with dignity?!

Red: We don’t do anything with dignity!

Second: I’m so happy two of my favorite people are getting along now!

Yellow: Uh, Chosen and Dark are not getting along.

Second: They’re not trying to kill each other.

Yellow: You may have a point.

Second: Why are you late?

Yellow: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness.

Second: Overslept?

Yellow: Overslept.

Second: It's locked. You got a lock pick?

Chosen: Yeah-

Dark: *kicks in the door*

Red: Yellow, I want a bedtime story!

Yellow: I’m busy, Red. I’ll tell you one tomorrow.

Red: If you don’t tell me a story, I won’t go to bed!

Yellow: Once upon a time, there was a person named Red, who always wanted things their way. One day, their friends got sick of it and locked them in the basement for the rest of their life. Everyone else lived happily ever after. The end.

Red: I don’t like these stories with morals.

Dark: I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two people in my entire life. Chosen and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Chosen.

Red: Give me everything you’ve got!

Purple: All your friends secretly hate you.

Red: Wait, what?

Purple: I’ve got anxiety.