Latest Posts by captainscruptious - Page 5
when i saw the headline ‘golf digest helps free man from prison’ i thought it was gonna be, like
“he’s clearly in the background of this golf photo! that proves he wasn’t at the crime scene!!”
as opposed to, like
“this guy in prison sent us his cool golf fanart but we didn’t want to promo a serial killer, so we looked into his case and thought it looked pretty flimsy and probably racially motivated”
(here’s the first article from 2012 and the followup)
A Guide To Exploring Abandoned Churches
If you go alone, don’t bring a flashlight. You’ll see things you don’t want to.
Don’t bring groups bigger than 12.
Bring water and some snacks, but no wine.
If you have to sleep there, sleep in the sanctuary, but not on a pew.
If you try to read the hymnal, the words won’t be english anymore.
The Bibles will be blank until you confess.
Don’t go into the confession booth. The man talking to you is not the priest, and you don’t want to know what he really is.
The cross on the wall changes locations, don’t look at it for too long.
If you see someone praying at the altar, don’t approach them. If they approach you, don’t talk to them. Leave immediately.
If you hear the organ playing while you’re in the basement, know that your time is running out.
If it plays while you’re in the sanctuary, your time is up.
Take whatever you want, but if you find that one of your possesions is missing, don’t look for it. Let them have it. It’s not worth your life.
If you find a rosary, don’t put it on. It won’t help.
The water isn’t holy anymore. Throwing it on the demons in the shadows won’t work.
Drink the wine if you wish to never leave.
Don’t get seperated from your friends.
If you spend the night, leave at sunrise otherwise you’ll enter another plane of reality with no way back.
If you don’t spend the night, leave through the doors you came in.
You might look behind you after leaving and see that the church isn’t there anymore. It means that they took what they wanted.
Never enter the same abandoned church twice. Even (especially) if you forgot something inside. That’s a lure. On your second tour through, they will know enough about you to keep you there.
I wanna hear these Opinions on steampunk color palettes, if you’re willing.
tbh “the Victorians did not go to the trouble of inventing aniline dyes so that we could wear neutrals” mostly covers it?
they went to a lot of effort to bring affordable screaming bright fuchsias and acid greens into the world, and we should honor their tacky, tacky choices.
What dark secret a small town is concealing, by region:
Northeast - ancient cult from old country
Midwest - a monster betwixt the corn
South - that reclusive family no one dares speak of
Southwest - experiment gone wrong
Northwest - eerie unsolved murder
Writer friends, I discovered a fun website today. It’s called “I Write Like” and here’s the description: Check which famous writer you write like with this statistical analysis tool, which analyzes your word choice and writing style and compares them with those of the famous writers. Let me know which author you got!
I stumbled upon a website that allows you to blend any colors evenly no matter how opposite on the spectrum they are.
sharing the knowledge
very helpful art resource
How to Bring Someone Back from the Dead
Make sure that it wasn’t their time to die. If it was, do not try to bring them back.
If you’re sure they weren’t meant to die, start preparing for your journey. It will be a long one.
You will need two coats, a quarter, a white rose, a blanket, a flashlight, extra batteries, lots of food and water, and an object of importance to the deceased (a necklace, a beloved book, etc).
Wait until late spring. You’ll want it to be warm out when you return.
Put on some good hiking boots. You’ll be walking for a while.
Enter any forest. The denser the better. Walk until the sun goes down.
Look to your left when it becomes too dark to see.
You will see a white glow in the distance. Walk towards it.
Be careful where you step. Some woods like to trip you.
Remember your loved one’s name.
Say aloud how much you missed them and why you want them back.
The glow will disappear once you reach it. When it does, turn on your flashlight and sit down.
Place the flashlight next to you and go to sleep. Do not be afraid. If you’ve made it this far, then the forest is on your side. It will not let you be harmed.
When you awake, the sun will be up.
Turn off your flashlight and put it back in your bag.
You will be standing just outside of a fairy ring. Do not enter it.
Take out your food and water. Eat some, but leave the rest at your feet.
Step into the ring and place the quarter on the ground, tails up.
Tell your loved one you are coming for them. They will not hear you.
The quarter will sink into the ground. You may now enter the Underworld.
Put on one of the coats. It will be very cold.
Close your eyes and imagine that you are sinking into the ground. Do not open them until you smell smoke.
When you open your eyes, you will be underground. A tunnel will stretch out before you.
Replace the batteries in your flashlight. It will get dark very soon
Follow the tunnel. You will feel cold. This is normal.
You will soon come across a small house. Knock on the door.
A dark-haired woman will open it. There is something wrong with her eyes. Do not stare.
She will ask you for something pretty. Give her the rose
She will smile at you and invite you in for something to eat. Enter the house, but politely refuse any food.
Talk to her for a while. She likes the company.
She’ll tell you a secret. Pretend that it doesn’t bother you.
Eventually, she will give you an item. I do not know what it will be. It’s different for everyone.
Thank her for being so kind. She wasn’t always like this.
Say goodbye and exit the house. Continue down the tunnel
You will be walking for a long time. If you need to sleep, do so. When you wake up, continue walking.
You will find food in your bag. Do not eat any of it.
You will get to a river guarded by the woman you met before. Do not ask her how she got here so fast.
Say hello and show her the item she gave to you. She will take it and give you your flower back.
You are now allowed to cross the river. Get in the boat. Don’t think about how it wasn’t there before.
Let the boat take you to the other shore. The fog will make it hard to see. Trust me that it’s better that way
When you get off the boat, the fog will be too dense to see clearly.
You will start to come across wandering souls. They will not care that you are here. They are too miserable.
The silence will be unbearable. Hum a song to yourself.
You’ll be wandering around for a while. Don’t give up hope. You’ll find them soon.
When you do, softly say hello.
They will not remember you. Don’t take this personally. They don’t remember themselves either.
Don’t touch them, not yet.
Their eyes will seem far away. It’s alright. They are listening.
Talk to them for a while. Don’t give your name and do not tell them theirs. They don’t trust you yet.
They’ll soon realize you are alive. When they do, answer their questions about the world above.
Ask them if they are cold. The answer will be yes.
Offer them the coat you are wearing. It will already be warm. You have body heat, they do not.
When they take it. Put on your other coat.
At this point, they will ask if you know them. Say yes and tell them their name.
They will like having an identity again. Try not to cry when they smile.
Hand them their item of importance. It will help them trust you.
Tell them your name and ask them if they want to leave.
If they say yes, take their hand. They will feel like a corpse. Try not to let this faze you.
Do not let go of their hand.
Walk back to the river. You will find it. The Keepers don’t like the Living in the Underworld.
The woman you met earlier will be there. Give her the rose again. She will give you back the item from her house.
Get in the boat.
When you reach the shore, exit the boat.
Your loved one will have some trouble keeping up. They are exhausted. The dead cannot eat or sleep, no matter how much they want to.
Keep walking. Try not to notice how hungry you are.
Do not eat the food in your bag.
While you walk, talk to your loved one. They don’t know it, but they’ve missed you.
They will trip and fall at some point. They are very tired.
They will start to cry. Don’t let this break your heart. Instead, tell them they will be able to rest soon.
For now, pick them up and carry them in your arms. Don’t worry, they will be very light.
Try not to notice that they aren’t breathing. It will only make you feel sick.
Keep talking. They will be too tired to respond, but they are listening.
When you see the woman’s house, tell your loved one that you’re almost there.
Keep walking and don’t turn around.
You’ll feel something watching you.
Don’t turn around. Please.
You’ll notice you’ve stopped talking. Start humming that song again. It will help stave off the fear.
Stop walking and place your loved one on the ground. Pull out the blanket and wrap them in it. Pick them up again and keep going. You’re almost there.
You’ll see a light up ahead. Feel the relief flooding through you and run towards it.
When you step out of the fairy ring, immediately place your loved one on the ground.
Encourage them to breathe. They will have forgotten how to.
When they start to breathe again, retrieve the food that you left on the ground earlier.
They’ll want to fall asleep. Make sure they eat and drink before they do so.
They will be very cold. Do whatever you can to keep them warm.
Thank whatever gods you believe in for letting you bring them back.
Go to sleep. Nothing will harm you here.
When you wake, do not disturb your loved one. They haven’t slept in so long. Wait until they wake up on their own.
Take them home. They will not remember you at first, but they will regain their memories soon.
Don’t tell them how they died. It’s best if they don’t know.
Spend time with them. Most people don’t get a second chance.
More guides
How to be a stranger
If your reflection is missing
If you are a researcher or adventurer and want to share a guide, join our subreddit!
How about masterpost of GCSE advice? :)
general advice
tips for year 11s (1) (2)
gcse regrets
back to school tips from the hogwarts houses
exam season
super important!! make things easier for the examiner
20 things to do before exams
how to cope with exams for uk students
exam organisation printables
how to get good grades and still have a life
how to become a good test taker
tips to have a nice routine
dealing with stress in academia
how to balance life and school
motivation
study tips for a procrastinating mess
little activities to boost your study motivation
getting stuff done; lack of motivation
tips for a productive study day
becoming a morning person
your day is not wasted!!!
studying when you really don’t want to
how to get started
how to survive bad school days
10 ways to have fun whilst you study
how to enjoy studying
motivation does not correlate to being a good student
english literature
8 interesting literary techniques
some simple macbeth quotes
how to do amazing single word analysis easily
how to get an a*/ 8 or 9 in a lit essay
argue your way into a grade 8/9 lit essay
annotated jekyll and hyde pdf
love and relationships poetry guide
power and conflict poetry guide
power and conflict poetry workbook
romeo and juliet key quotes simple & complex
romeo and juliet practise questions
macbeth revision guides (1) (2)
macbeth quote discussions
an inspector calls workbook
an inspector calls mindmap/cards
unseen poetry revision guide
jekyll and hyde structure and narrative form
pop me an ask if you’d like me to make more masterposts for any specific texts, i’d be happy to!
english language
paper 1 mini mocks
paper 1 - question 4 tutorial
paper 1 - infographic
paper 2 mini mocks
paper 2 - non fiction - the greatest showman revision
paper 2 - planning
how to do amazing single word analysis easily
top tip - adopt a persona
extend your vocabulary
maths
how to study maths
edexcel higher tier revision checklist
practise paper & mark scheme generator
online maths tests
solutions and tutorials
notes and worked examples
edexcel necessary formulae quizlet
how to memorise formulae
science
the government’s rules on combined science for all exam boards
aqa combined science required practicals
bio notes (1) (2) (3)
biology glossary
chem notes (1) (2) (3)
chemistry glossary
physics notes (1) (2)
physics quizzes
physics glossary
freesciencelessons (youtube) (website)
primrose kitten (youtube) (website)
languages
how i taught myself gcse french🇫🇷
10 unusual language learning tips
100 reasons to learn a foreign language
100 reasons not to give up on your target language
how hermionie granger would study a language
improve your language skills
gcse spanish revision workbook
french movies
how to study a foreign language using fanfiction
the little prince in 32 languages
@lovelybluepanda
side note: when looking for language resources online, gcse level is equivalent to b1 on the cefr scale :)
humanities
guide to new spec history
how to study history
edexcel history resources
hehehe fun fact!!!!!
aqa religious studies resources
whole of aqa geography paper 1 video
how to study geography (1) (2)
plant lacey: geography revision (youtube)
edexcel history - elizabeth yt playlist
edexcel history - whitechapel yt playlist
edexcel history - weimar and nazi germany yt playlist
edexcel history - crime and punishment yt playlist
essay subjects
structuring essays
tips
substitutes for ‘shows’
misc
bitesize
bitesize app w/ flashcards (ios) (android)
gcsepod
seneca learning
revision world
s-cool
studywise gcse directory
englishbizhope this helps :)
If your reflection is missing
1. Do not touch the mirror. If you have already touched the mirror, SKIP TO STEP 15 IMMEDIATELY.
2. First, make sure that your reflection is really gone. Make sure that you are visible. If you are not visible, the lack of a reflection is normal.
3. Check another mirror to see if your reflection is there. If so, the mirror without a reflection is simply broken and needs replacement.
If you have confirmed you are visible and your reflection is gone from all mirrors:
4. Do not touch the mirror.
5. Fill a bowl with water. Overnight, leave it at the base of the mirror nearest to your bed.
6. When you wake, if the bowl is empty, your reflection simply has business elsewhere for a while. You may rest knowing your reflection will return when they are ready.
7. If the bowl is still full, your reflection has been taken.
If your reflection is gone:
8. Be ready. They may come for you.
9. Prepare for a journey. With your reflection gone, you may pass through the mirror, but first, be sure you are prepared.
10. Bring food and water. Beyond the mirror, eat or drink nothing unless it has specifically been offered to you. Dying of hunger or thirst is better than the alternative.
11. Tie one end of a ball of string around your ankle, and the other to something on this side of the mirror, like the foot of your bed. This will not help, but sometimes reassurance is necessary.
12. Do not trust what your eyes or ears show you. Count the number and direction of each step you make. Make no marks. Take nothing with you. Leave nothing behind.
13. What state you find your reflection in will vary. I cannot advise you on this. Trust your instinct. Do not trust them.
14. Follow the steps you made back to the mirror. Do not let your reflection ahead of you. They will be grateful for your rescue, but they may still try to leave, trapping you in their place.
IF YOU HAVE ALREADY TOUCHED THE MIRROR:
15. I’m sorry.
16. Try to wash the chrome off your hands. You will not succeed.
17. Wait. Be ready.
18. They are coming for you. There is nothing you can do.
19. I’m sorry.
More guides
A guide to sleeping
How to Sneak Food from the Kitchen at Night
If you are a researcher or adventurer and want to share a guide, join our subreddit!
sometimes i want to pull my hair out because i want to see just ONE female character i can relate to in terms of their romantic/sex life
i want to see a girl in her mid twenties who has never been kissed
i want to see a girl who is confused because she has literally no experience
a girl that has panic attacks when she thinks of sex and cant stop thinking about what kissing is like while also being terrified of it
a girl who cant figure out her sexuality because she’s never gotten to try
a girl who self destructs because shes terrified of how bigger her baggage gets with age
i’m sick of seeing woman in tv and movies who date and have sex and still have relationship hangups, not because that doesnt exist but because i cant relate to those women
i want to turn on the tv and see a 25 year old woman who has never been with anyone, was genuinely not looked at for a long time and has become terrified of attention, who’s anxiety cheats them out of dating, who greets every birthday with this feeling of dread in the pit of their stomach because they’re getting older and older and it feels weirder and more wrong with every passing year
i know i’m not the only woman like this, but with the way the media is, it’s maybe the most alienating baggage i carry. everywhere i look, it’s weird that this is my experience. i feel ashamed and i feel scared that i one day have to tell a person to their face that i’m am adult who has never had a first kiss. its terrifying and consuming and confusing and awful. you start to believe it isnt meant for you - not just sex, or intimacy, but fucking love itself. because you dont turn on the tv and see people like you. “unlucky in love” means slightly clumsy and loud on dates and fear of commitment. its a quirky girl who probably has had sex with multiple people and just ~cant figure it out~!!!!!
i want a girl who feels so alone because she literally always has been
that’s what i wanna see
hobbies masterpost! You
a really excellent way to reduce anxiety is to pick up a new hobby. find something you’re interested in, learn it, then use it as a healthy and productive way to cope.
learn to play guitar
learn how to make interactive stories with the free program Twine
learn how to make pixel art
learn another language
learn how to build a ship in a bottle
learn how to develop your own film
learn how to embroider
learn how to make chiptunes (8-bit music)
learn how to make origami (the art of paper folding)
learn how to make tumblr themes
learn how to make jewelry
learn how to make candy
learn how to make terrariums
learn how to make your own perfume
learn how to make your own tea
learn how to build birdhouses
learn how to read tarot cards
learn how to make zines
learn how to code
learn how to whittle (wood carving)
learn how to make candles
learn how to make clay figurines
learn how to knit scarves
learn how to become an amateur astronomer
learn some yoyo tricks
learn how to start a collection
learn how to start body building
learn how to edit wikipedia articles
learn how to decorate iphone cases
learn how to do freelance writing
learn how to make your own cards and
learn how to make your own envelopes
learn how to play the ukulele
learn how to make gifs
learn how to play chess
learn how to juggle
learn how to guerrilla garden
learn how to chart your family history
learn how to keep chickens
learn how to do yoga
learn how to do magic
learn how to raise and breed butterflies
learn how to play dungeons & dragons
learn how to skateboard
learn how to do parkour
learn how to surf
learn how to arrange flowers
learn how to make stuffed animals
Happiness Will Come To You.
Jackpot