I Will Literally Learn To Animate For This Reason Only

Doof: "You see Perry The Platypus, about a few weeks ago I entered The Tumblr Sexyman Showdown. It's a contest for only the sexiest of men-- now now, Perry the Platypus, before you roll your eyes at me, it's not the conventional kind of sexy, no, no! It's the pathetic, the silly, the unconventional! Only for the acquired tastes. Like me~!! So I joined in, and you wouldn't believe it! I plowed through the competition! Bracket after bracket, I dominated the votes. That is, until the final round... when I was put up against Stanley Pines of someplace called 'Gravity Falls'-- for some reason, even though he claimed to come from a place called Gravity Falls and I come from the Tri-State Area, the competition listed me to come from someplace called 'Phineas and Ferb', and I have no idea where that is or who those people are--I was kicked to the curb! He won by a landslide! Well, not literally though, that's a metaphor--that's how Bill Cipher won against Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians, and I KNOW that place doesn't exist--b-but anyway, Stanley won and I only got second. And it doesn't make any sense! Sure, Stanley is similar to what the true Sexyman is, but he's not the greatest! For one thing, he's not that pathetic--jeez, if anyone is the most pathetic here, it's me! He's not that tragic-backstory-able, or anything, he--and worse yet, he's HOT! I mean, he's not that much of an acquired taste! Sure, he's older, but that's it!! Clearly, the people are biased! Which is why I made...THIS!"

Doof: "BEHOLD! THE UNHANDSOME-INATOR!!!!"

Doof: "With this, I can make anyone ugly--so ugly that their ugliness is JUUUST too ugly to be a Tumblr Sexyman! But too handsome to be truly ugly...and I can also tweak it to make myself just a little more handsome, hehe! With this, I will make the ENTIRE TRI-STATE AREA Sexyman ugly, and shoot myself so I will be the most acquired-taste-handsome out of all of them, winning the love of all of the TRI-STATE AREA, AND ENACTING MY REVENGE AGAINST THE TUMBLR SEXYMAN CONTEST!!!"

Doof: "--Or wait, come to think of it, this isn't really revenge, I mean, the contest's over and it won't come back until next year so this scheme prooobably should've been postponed until then... not to mention this inator isn't exactly that tweaked, it's a rushed job and has some...ahaha...side effects...unless I CRANK UP THE RANGE OF THE INATOR!"

Doof: "Yes, Perry The Platypus, I will become the most tumblr-sexyman handsome by proxy in all of the tri-state area AND GRAVITY FALLS, OREGON!!!"

| Meanwhile In Gravity Falls |

*Stan, reading the paper, suddenly looks up.*

Stan: "Something just happened."

*beat*

Stan: "...Eh. Who cares. Worse has happened in this town. It's probably the heebie jeebies from that German guy from a couple days ago, eugh."

Stan: "Worth it for the prize money, though. I'm still the sexiest man on all of Tumblr! Ahaha!"

*beat*

Stan, still grinning: "...whatever that is."

*A beat. Then the door to the Mystery Shack slams open. It's Ford.*

Ford: "Stanley! I'm back!"

Stanley: "Hey, sixer. Back from another one of your little adventures?"

Ford: "I suppose you could call it that! Ever been to the tri-state area? There are hundreds of anomalies there! Did you know that all the platypuses are teal there?"

Stanley: "Yeah, yeah...well, make sure to tell me later. I'm reading the paper."

Ford: "Well, don't get too absorbed. We're going to Italy tomorrow, remember? We're visiting the Vatican! Lots of great things to explore there! We might even see the pope!"

Today's the crème brûlée

That followed the turkey day

We're rapid fire posting today

Here's a gif of baby bill with light up sketchers I made oh so many months ago immediately after school

Under the cut because his sneakers are kind of flashing quickly

11 MILLION PEOPLE all not named Amanda kind of crazy

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

Just finished the entirety of season one no one talk to me ever again

Just finished episode 6 of season 1 of squid games do not recommend I will be inconsolable for weeks

stan and ford make up all kinds of horrifying bullshit that they want done with their bodies after they die

awful shit like being cremated and made into shotgun shells or fireworks or something

it changes all the time but eventually reaches a climax when ford decides "i want to be butchered and eaten after i die!" and just. doesn't change his mind. i hc that the stans are immortal shut up you probably do too and just dont know it so it's not like that'll ever be put to use

BUT

one day ford goes missing. its been three days since the kids have heard from him and while stan isnt that concerned dipper and mabel are MORTIFIED. on that third day they're eating dinner and it finally clicks

"..grunkle stan? what're we eating..?" dipper says as he slowly sets his fork down, mabel following suit as she catches on with eyes wide as the plates they're eating off of

"eh just whipped up--"

"IS THIS GRUNKLE FORD!?"

just then, ford walks into the room with eight new rips in his coat and singed hair "um, no, this is. sorry kids i was out fighting bigfoot did stan not tell you"

and when dipper and mabel glare at stan he's just "ah. i knew i was forgetting something"

BILL’S A MESS

Lyric Video

Reverse Portal AU but it's like The Martian and Ford is desperately trying to get Stanley home while Stan is trying to survive in the Nightmare Realm by growing potatoes and is also somehow recording audio logs.

(both of them are having mental breakdowns daily)

I love gravity falls because none of the characters are perfect, that all have qualities that could make them dislikable but the fandom loves them anyways

HQ VERSION!!

Alex Hirsch hired me to edit the audio of JK Simmons reading Ford thirst comments, enjoy in its proper glory!

Also check out Alex reprising the role of Bill Cipher and sharing other cut pages in our Book of Bill podcast episode