When You’re In The Middle Of Feeling Every Emotion Then Suddenly You Just…don’t Feel At All Anymore.

You’re not reading this by accident.

Everything is going to be okay.

Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before.

You’ve been this uncomfortable, anxious and scared, and you survived.

Close your eyes and feel the universe within you making a way for you right now.

Can I get a motherfucking uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bullet to the head?

what bpd is like

Bpd be like…

A minor inconvenience? Initiate RAGE

A stranger smiles at you? Initiate LOVE

Your fp doesn’t respond three minutes after you message them? InitiateDESPAIR

Someone bugs you slightly? Initiate HATRED

Something is slightly more than you (more anything at all)? Initiate JEALOUSY

Something good happens? Initiate EUPHORIA

and it all changes within seconds…

Me:-eats something-

Stomach:“GET IT OUT OF ME!”

Me:“You’ve had this before and you were fine!”

Stomach:“bitch what did I just say!? IM REJECTING IT!”

By the time you find this, I will be dead. I am leaving this app open on my unlocked phone near my body.

I’m sorry that by this time tomorrow I won’t be around anymore. Im sorry I couldn’t contribute enough. Sorry I was too sick.

Dear mom/family.

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough. I’m sorry I was a failure. I’m sorry I wasted time. I wish I could have been a better kid. Im sorry I wasn’t the daughter/sister/aunt you wanted. Im sorry I don’t even know what or who I am. I’m sorry I was just a problem. I’m sorry I was so sick. Such a burden on you all. I deserved what I got.

Dear sister,

I love you and I’m sorry. I miss you. I never told you how I was feeling.. You wont forgive me I know. I cant forgive myself either. Im an awful awful sister. I deserve this.

Dear best friend,

I love you. I’m sorry. My head is too broken. Im too tired. You tried so hard to help me but I failed you. I’m a terrible failure. I will never forgive myself for disappointing you. You were my world. I loved you more than words could express. But it was never meant to be. I’m sorry. Im sorry I wont be around anymore. Im sorry we wont get to do all that we wanted and dreamed. I’ll miss you for eternity.

Dear myself,

I hate you. I hope you rot. You horrible disgusting disappointing failure. You’re a fucking burden. You deserve this.

Goodbye.

Love,

Amanda/Des/Blair

🖤

To the next random entitled guy who decides that after just meeting me, sending me an unwanted disgusting cock picture is a good way to get my attention after being busy for a couple hours;

 I will cut that pathetic wad of diseased flesh off your body, smash it with a meat hammer until its perfect to roll into a pointed shape, freeze it until its actually hard in a useful way, not to mention sharp, preceed to then cut you flesh deep groin to sternum, stab it deep into your trachea, and while watching you gurgle and drown in your own blood will i lean close enough to whisper in your ear “ Is this enough attention for you sweetheart?” 

Because if you honestly think that any of those actions you do are excusable, quirky, or even charming, you are gravely mistaken; and you should drown on your own blood if you think that sexually harassing anyone with the sight of your disgusting little hob nob attention-entitled narcissistic prick is the way to keep a conversation going. 

You make me sick and I despise you and everyone like you.

I actually feel like I am in the worst low mood of my life and I feel utterly terrible and like I want to die. And It makes me so angry that one tiny little thing just fucking smacked me from the purest beautiful holy cloud nine onto the fucking cold heartless concrete without mercy. I literally have not stopped crying for like over an hour. I hate my life and I want to just throw myself off the stupid balcony fuck me.

Mood.

Welp im ill :)

Got a 103.1 fever, so fucking cold with chills, dizzy af, double earpain, sore throat, a weird gross thing on my right side of my throat ew, painful nodes on both sides, andddd a migraine 👌🏻😊 Fuck