Here's A Thought: If A Child Begs To Be Allowed To See A Counselor And The Parent's Response Is To Prevent

signs you were not doing well as a child:

you spent most of your time in your room/alone, not because you wanted to, but because it was the safest thing to do

you had to worry about whether you’d be able to eat safely that day, or if you’d be met with insults, attacks and/or being chased away from food

you wanted to inflict harm onto yourself and felt it was normal to want to harm you

you inflicted harm onto your body

you spent a long time having imaginary conversations in your head where you tried to prove somehow that you were not as bad as everyone make it seem, or that someone cares about you

you sank into obsessions in order to get thru whatever was going on

you felt as if you were barely making it thru, and if there was just one more thing you’d have to deal with, you wouldn’t be able to take it

you had wild fantasies about someone taking you away from all of this and taking you somewhere safe where you wouldn’t be despised

you never felt at home, you felt like you didn’t have a home

you looked for every possible place to hide, in order to feel safe for a little while, both to keep your enjoyment secret and in case of a danger, you needed to have a hiding place

you were scared of all of your enjoyment being taken away the second people found out

you had to spend more time doing chores or taking care of others, than you could spend developing your own friendships and life

you felt inexplicably and endlessly lonely, you dreamed of one day having friends and it felt unreachable, impossible, like asking for too much

you never cried, or hid when you cried, feeling ashamed and weak

you over-indulged into a tv show, or a computer game, or a piece of media, to the point where it didn’t feel like you lived at all unless you were interacting with it

sometimes the insults and the shaming you endured got to you to the point where you believed things would be better if you didn’t exist

you were constantly trying to check if your parents actually cared for you or not, and took any tiny hint of attention, even negative attention, as a possible proof that they might care, but you could never know for sure which it was

you were scared of getting abandoned, getting kicked out of the house, getting left on the street, you even tried to plan what you would do if it happened

you had moments when you felt like the worst person to ever live

you thought about ending your life, to stop the pain 

you felt guilt and shame so large, you thought there was nothing in the world that could possibly redeem you

you ran to hide when your family member would come home, you couldn’t bear being seen in ‘their part of the house’ (living room, dining room)

you were reluctant to admit anything that was bothering you to your parents or caretakers, because you already knew they would either blame you, or use it against you

you spiraled into dark thoughts, all on your own, telling no one

you experienced feeling so numb and lifeless, you didn’t know what was wrong with you, and it scared you

you couldn’t imagine yourself going far in the future, or accomplishing much at all, you felt it would be a miracle if you’re alive later on

you tried to blame yourself for anything that had ever happened to you, trying to get control over it, trying to make it so it doesn’t happen again

you got into media that is restricted for children (extreme violence, gruesome horror and gore, sexually explicit and sexually violent materials) and you absorbed it and told no one about it

you endured being harassed or violated by a predator and told no one about it

you were constantly scared of what everyone else was thinking and saying about you

you were ashamed of things you did and said and worried endlessly that somehow you caused something bad to happen

you felt as if your worst fear would always, always come true

“Baked pies instead of my face”???????

BABE WHERE I WANNA KNOWWW

this is from the second light novel im p sure but bro

being disabled with a chronic illness is like. I'll never go back to my old life. This is forever. I'm tired all the time, but all I do is sleep. I'm tired of being tired. I wanna work. I wanna go to school. going to the grocery store tires me out, and I'll pay for it tomorrow. I wanna change my life. this isn't ever going to get better. I'm just gonna be in physical therapy until I plateau. I feel better today I must be faking it. I'm feeling better today I'll use this energy to do some work. I am once again bedridden. My life will never be the same. This is something I'm going to have to deal with for the rest of my life. I guess it's hard to comprehend that.

Hey y'all. Healing is possible. It's hard and it takes years. There are things you may not be able to fully heal and there are things you will let go of quickly. It's okay. There is no timeline for healing.

TW self harm, alcohol

I got home and fucking cut my foot and got drunk and now I'm just laying here with a paper towel inside my sock, feeling so fucking much better. I feel bad because I plan to lie to my husband if he asks about my foot, but not bad enough to not do it I guess. I don't want him to know so I'm not telling anyone irl.

I'm just. I'm so tired and it's been a bad, triggering af day, and this is what I've chosen to do about it. I'm in my fucking thirties and I'm still acting like a fucking dumbass.

I don't want to be alone right now but my husband isn't going to be home for hours and nobody is answering the phone and. Idk.

I'm just here. Trying to stay alive. Trying to convince myself to stay alive.

Well I finally managed to get my ass up and take a shower for the first time since the funeral so that's something. I feel kind of ridiculous for not showing for a week but at the same time I feel extra extra clean now because the contrast is so stark lol

in light of recent events, fuck

“And I don’t think anybody should feel bad if they get diagnosed with a mental illness, ’cause it’s just information about you that helps you to know how to take better care of yourself.

“Being bipolar, there’s nothing wrong with it. Being bipolar is like not knowing how to swim. It might be embarrassing to tell people, and it might be hard to take you certain places. But they have arm floaties. And if you just take your arm floaties, you can go wherever the hell you want.

“And I know some of you are like, ‘But Taylor, what if people judge me for taking arm floaties?’ Well, those people don’t care if you live or die, so maybe who cares? Maybe fuck those people a little. I don’t know.”

Taylor Tomlinson, Look At You (2022)

There is a new Chrome extension that detects if a video you’re streaming has a strobe in it, will freeze the video and stick this warning up there until you approve it.

WHERE THE HELL HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE????