Some Fucking Resources For All Ur Writing Fuckin Needs

Simon, but IN COLORS OMG

I've to say it's a huge coincidence that the first drawing I posted of Simon here officially completed 1 year yesterday!

Is "strange" to see how much he has changed since then

The old drawing below:

I never liked drawing feet.

OK, just look at my baby

Look at his miserable little face

I just love him, my precious

Some doodles of Toby I did for @guaxinimraccoon

He’s such a silly guy

A lot of the g/t narratives and dynamics I see revolve around the giant, in some way or another, dehumanizing the tiny: the giant sees their smaller counterpart as inferior, fragile, or even as a plaything. And that is really cool to explore as well but… what if we flip the script? What if we subvert that trope a bit? 

What if the tiny isn't able to see the giant as a “person”. 

Think about it! How easy it is to see someone who is so much bigger than you, who is so much more powerful, who is capable of so many things, how easy it is to see that person as something other. As something better than yourself. And how much that can be hurtful for both the giant and the tiny, since it entails that the tiny fails to recognize their friend or lover as an equal, as someone with feelings, desires, and vulnerabilities. 

In this dynamic, not only we have a tiny with some pretty messed up self-esteem issues (to say the least), but we also have a giant that wishes to also be loved and respected by the tiny. Who doesn’t want to be seen as an object. They don't feel seen by what they truly are. 

And it’s funny because, in the beginning, all of the tiny's awe and admiration might seem or even feel like love, but in reality it is not — or, depending on the point of view, it’s at the very least an extremely messed up interpretation of love. This type of "loving" can feel isolating, because it denies the giant of their personhood (is that a word?) and instead, they are placed on a pedestal so high that real emotional connection and intimacy becomes impossible.

It kinda feels like the reverse uno card to the “dehumanization” trope.

Or, if you really think about it, maybe it’s the tiny who is dehumanizing their own self for the sake of seeing the giant partner as this impossible, holier-than-thou, being. This concept adds another layer to the problem: someone who thinks so little of themselves next to someone else may not even realize the way they’re hurting the other. After all, they're far too insignificant for that, right? It’s as if, by elevating the giant to god-like status, the tiny avoids confronting their own ability to hurt or influence someone else, in this case, the giant. They outright ignore the ways in which their actions, their perceptions, and their emotional distance might be hurting their giant friend/partner. 

All this “reverence” comes off as a form of objectification, not exactly in a sexual manner (although it definitely can be), but in the sense that when someone looks at me, I become an object for them, while they remain a subject. 

I love this concept so much — I know it's not exclusive to g/t but it can definitely be enhanced by it. Just... that moment when we realize that others do not see us the same way we see ourselves.

Imagine all of the anguish that comes from this gap between the way the giant sees themselves and the way the tiny sees the giant.  They’re trapped by the other’s gaze, forever seen as something they are not.

Gosh, when you said it would get better, I wasn't expecting this perfection

I love them so much <3

Restoration (Chapter 13)

The last chapter is here everyone! In honor of pride month, I give you this. This amazing chapter that is easily one of my favorites to write. I hope you all enjoy! I promise these two won’t be gone for forever though :D

Word Count: 3.6k

CW: None!

———13———

Four Months Later

———Nathan———

I stared up at the stadium lights above while the school principal and superintendent were talking to the many parents sitting in the stands. I wasn’t paying attention to what they were saying. Something about our class and graduation. I didn’t care all too much. Only that I could go home after this and wake up the next morning without having to worry about school ever again. 

Ryker kept me cupped in his hands much like the other people sitting beside him were, waiting until we could get up and receive the piece of paper that officially states that we’ve graduated high school. As soon as the many, many speeches were done, they finally started letting the rows in front of us stand up and walk up the steps to the removable platform. 

And soon enough, it was our rows turn, walking in a single line, and getting handed the piece of paper. I held mine close, smiling the entire way back to our chairs. I did it, mom. All of this was for her and dad in the first place. Though, I would’ve never seen today if it weren’t for Ryker. 

We moved the strings attached to our caps to the left while everyone started cheering loudly. I had to cover my ears while I laughed and looked back up to Ryker, who was laughing and waving to his siblings that were in the stands. Today was a great day. And a sad one. Tomorrow I would wake up the next morning and have no one to talk to. But that was okay. I shouldn’t bother Ryker anymore. No matter how many times he’s made me laugh even after my mother passed away. No matter how many times he’s given me almost exactly what I’ve needed for so long, I knew today would be the last day I would get to talk to him. 

Everyone had started to head home while Ryker met up with his siblings, getting hugged and congratulated. I did too, just minus the hugging part. It was hard to have a smile on today since my mom was supposed to be here, but I did anyways. I just hoped she was looking at me right now. 

“So I’ll see you at home in a few?” Jasmine asked, taking Isabelle’s hand and giving me a teasing side eye. Apparently everyone alone with her was worried about me after what had happened and just tried their best to help me out. They knew what it was like. And now, Jasmine doesn’t glare at me anymore or give me empty threats. If anything, she’s the complete opposite of what I first thought of her. We’ve become pretty good friends. 

“Yeah.” Ryker replied, waving them off while walking back into the school and letting me slide off his hand. What was he doing? 

“Hey, um, wanna just change back into your clothes? I’ll take you back after.” Ryker told me as I nodded, heading into the nearby restrooms to take off the black gown and fold it neatly into the cap. I sighed, getting ready to say goodbye to him in just a few minutes before he drops me off at the bus stop. 

I walked back out, seeing that he had already folded his clothes nicely and put on his signature hoodie. I climbed back onto his waiting hand as he grinned. That was… interesting. What was happening? I didn’t know, but I just carried on, still saddened by the thought of saying goodbye. 

We walked outside the school, walking down the sidewalk, but not taking the turn to the bus stop he usually does. I looked up at him worriedly, “The bus stops over… there.” I pointed back to the street as he just innocently smiled at me. Oh. Where was he taking me then? I wasn’t too worried honestly, but still. I wanted to know. 

After about a silent ten minute walk with no sound except the crickets and faint cars in the distance, we had arrived at the same coffee place he had taken me to months before. Didn’t he say he works here? 

“I thought you were taking me back home.” I told him, confusion lining my voice. He shook his head, “I said I’d take you back after. I never said after what.”  

There was a loop hole? Why were we even at this coffee shop in the first place? I couldn’t exactly argue with him, and I didn’t exactly mind it either. It just means I get a few extra minutes before leaving. How could I argue with time? I didn’t know whether to like the fact my heart was beating faster and faster, or to hate it. All I did know was that I was excited because he wanted to spend the last few minutes of the night with me. 

We sat down at the exact same table when we had first came here. There were a few people, some even talking with the workers. I sat down at the human-sized table on top, facing Ryker while he scooted all the way down. I bit the side of my cheek as a woman with the cafe logo on her work outfit came with a notepad. Ryker laughed and greeted her like they were best friends while I didn’t pay attention all too much. I guess Ryker noticed and ordered for me. He knew what I liked anyways. 

“Everything okay?” Ryker asked, his smile slowly falling as he lowered his head to get a better look at me. To be honest, not really, but I wasn’t going to let him worry about me anymore. Again, I can’t keep leaning on people. 

“Yeah,” I nodded my head, “What are we doing here anyways?” My voice came out a little mumbled, but Ryker heard it all the same.

“Graduation present. For the both of us I guess.” Ryker shrugged his shoulders, but I could tell he was hiding something else. I had no idea, but I guess I’ll figure it out. Plus, I didn’t even think about bringing a present for him. Was I supposed to? No, no time to feel guilty. 

The lady came back around again, handing us our drinks and telling Ryker that she’ll see him tomorrow night for work while he laughed and nodded. I don’t know why I felt so insecure right now, but I just did. Instead of dwelling on that, I took a sip of my hot chocolate and stared out the small window next to us covered by fake vines and flowers. I wish I had more time… 

“Nathan?” 

I jumped at the mention of my name, nearly spilling some of my drink on me. Ryker chuckled softly above, a slightly sad smile on his face. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re jumpier than usual.” His free hand cupped behind me, but never touched. What was he trying to do? I have zero idea, but I shouldn’t waste what little time I had. I didn’t want him to leave. But I knew he would anyways. Maybe it would be a good thing if he does? No, no it will not. It really wouldn’t be. 

“Yeah, I promise. I’m just a little tired.” I shrugged it off, taking another small sip. Ryker did the same, looking outside the small window. I sighed, internally crying while watching a few people walk on the sidewalk outside. Didn’t Ryker have to get home? It was already about to be ten, and we were getting drinks and sitting down together. Shouldn’t he be with his family? He just graduated too. 

“What are you gonna do now that we’re out of high school?” Ryker asked, setting his cup down and resting his head on his crossed arms in front of me. I fidgeted a little before sighing and shrugging my shoulders, “I didn’t h-have a plan. Just get a job and hope for the best?” I nervously laughed. 

“What about you?” I asked, seeing him think about his answer. 

“Watch my siblings? I, um, can’t exactly go to college if I still have to watch over everyone.” Ryker laughed sadly. My heart sank. That’s not exactly fair. I think he deserves to go to college if he wants to. If I could I would help him, but I already know he wouldn’t let me. He’ll be leaving soon anyways. I’ll just be another name he remembers after today. 

“I-I think you should.” I cheered him on while he blinked a couple of times, laughing along with me. 

“Thank you, but It’ll be hard if I go. I can’t keep up with everything all the time.” Ryker replied, trying to hide the sadness in his voice. My heart throbbed. If only I could help. But I was just small. I mean, I can’t even get around their house anymore without any help. What makes me think I can handle taking care of five other kids while Ryker was focusing on college? I breathed out a shaky breath, my slightly trembling hands reaching for the little mug filled with hot chocolate. Just a few more minutes. Just a few more minutes before all of this goes away.

It stayed silent for a while. Be both had finished our drinks, there were only three other people here besides us to in the café. I didn’t want to leave. I did all of this for my parents, and now it’s going away. I made friends, I graduated, heck, I’m not even that scared of giants anymore. Well, maybe a little, but I was more talking about Ryker and his siblings. But I did all of this for them because they wanted me to live a normal life, and yet, I still can’t. What do I do? 

“Nathan, are you sure you’re okay?” Ryker asked again, pushing his cup to the edge of the table. 

“Mhm.” I nodded my head, doing the same as him and trying my best to keep the smile on my face going. 

“Would you mind if I take you to one more place? It’s like a five minute walk from here.” Ryker asked, a slightly worried expression on his face. I shook my head, standing up out of my seat and waiting for Ryker to do the same. I climbed onto his waiting hand, sitting in the middle just as usual while I tried not to look down at the terrifying drop below me. I sighed, bringing my knees closer to my chest and burying my head. Did it really have to end? 

——————

The walk was short just as he had said. It was a tiny park. It looked sort of abandoned. The grass looked like it hadn’t been cut for a while, there were some short vines latching onto the poles of the swing set and little parts of the slide. The lights were dim here, but it felt nice. The slight breeze that just barely ruffled my hair, how quiet this place was. How come no one fixes this place up? I feel like more people would come here if it looked a little nicer. 

“I know it’s nothing special, but my parents used to bring me and my siblings here almost everyday after school,” He breathed, crossing his legs while sitting on a nearby bench, “It doesn’t look perfect, but it still has some great memories.” 

I looked up, seeing how he smiled while looking at the park that was now covered in overgrown plants. My face heated up as I caught myself staring, turning back around and studying the sight. It doesn’t look bad at all. I liked it here. I liked everywhere Ryker has taken me. To that café, the little store that we went to just a few weeks ago, here. I sucked in a shaky breath, wiping away the loose tears that fell down my cheeks. I won’t get this feeling anymore…

“Ryker…” I tried my hardest to say it without him catching on that I was holding back tears, but of course he knew. He always did anyways. 

“What’s wrong?” He held me a little closer to his face. I just shook my head, making sure he wouldn’t be able to see the water in my eyes. What was wrong with me? Why was I even crying? 

I shook my head, biting the bottom of my lip. Why did he bring me here? Why did I say yes to this even? Why was I holding back my tears? I’ve tried preparing myself for months. I knew he was going to leave, and I’ve accepted that fact. So why was it so hard to believe it? 

Ryker cupped his hand a little more. I didn’t know what he was doing, but I don’t care. I was going to cherish what little time I had left with him. He’s given me these happy feelings I haven’t felt in such a long time. The memories. Why did it all have to be stripped away from me again? 

“Hey now, it’s alright, it’s alright. What’s going on?” Ryker tried comforting, a bit of a worried expression on his face. A couple tears fell down my face as I prepared my question that I needed an answer to. 

“A-are you, um, g-going to l-leave me?” 

A few second of silence was thrown between us as my heart threatened to jump right out of my chest. Ryker blinked a couple times before a soft smile appeared on his face, “What makes you think that?” 

My heart was beating faster. Was that a yes or a no? I couldn’t tell. I brought my knees closer to my chest as I searched for my response. I was terrified. Not of Ryker, but of what the answer to this question. But my mind was already set on his answer, and I knew it could be entirely true. 

“B-because I’m… me? I-I’m small and insignificant to you. Y-you don’t need me.” I buried my head again, covering my head with one of my arms and listening for his response. I didn’t want to look. I didn’t want to hear the words. Could I reverse time? Change everything that I’ve done to get to this point? Maybe then this wouldn’t be so hard. 

“I don’t remember saying any of that,” Ryker held me a little closer, “Nathan, little guy, it’s okay. I promise I don’t think anything like that of you. I’m not leaving, okay?” 

My heart stopped beating for a second as I peeked out, seeing his trademark smile. He meant it. He really did. I wiped away my loose tears, a nervous smile on my face. Now I was embarrassed. This was dumb. I was just being dumb. I thought I was getting the hang of controlling my thoughts, but apparently not. But still, my heart was beating fast. I was relieved at his answer. 

“Well now I f-feel stupid.” I softly laughed, facing him while on my knees. I stared down at his palm, trying to calm my own heartbeat down. It wasn’t really working, but Ryker was just as patient with me as he always has been. 

“It’s not stupid. I get it. A lot of people leave after they graduate. It’s fine.” Ryker explained, sighing and leaning back into the bench we were both on. I did the same, still wondering what we were doing here. My heart was still beating fast, but I finally had my answer, and that’s all I needed. Nothing else. I wouldn’t be alone anymore. Or at least for now. 

“Nathan, could you turn around real quick?” Ryker had asked, fixing his position a bit. I did as he asked, almost immediately met with his lips softly being pressed against me. I fell on my back from the slight push, my cheeks flushing a bright red and my heart somehow beating faster than before. It was over before I knew it as I quickly sat back up, my body a little shaky as my hand went through some of my hair, a little surprised at the gesture. Did Ryker just kiss me?

My cheeks flushed a deep red, seeing Ryker a little worried but also blushing just as much as I was, “S-sorry, I-I’ve never… kissed a human. I-I, um, didn’t hurt you, right?” 

A little squeak came out of my mouth. He kissed me. What do I do? Does that mean he likes me? I’m so confused. I mean I liked him. A lot. Am I mistaking my feelings for friendship? If that were true then why was my heart beating right out of my chest? Why was I blushing this much? I’ve never felt like this with anyone in my entire life. All I knew was that kiss was probably the best thing I’ve experienced in my entire life. 

“N-no.” My voice came out like a whisper as I tried my best to stand up on wobbly legs on his hand. I bit the side of my cheek  wondering if this was the right move, but all I knew was that this is what I wanted. All along. The way my heart would flip every time he said my name, or the way he would smile at me and his siblings. I was just so confused about it. 

Ryker was confused at what I was trying to do before I stood on my toes, trying to return the gesture, even if he can’t feel it. He lowered his face as I planted a short kiss on his lips the same he did to me, hoping he would get it. My legs gave out on me as I backed away, seeing Ryker bite the bottom of his lip soon after he felt me back away. 

I couldn’t think of anything else. Did he even know? Instead, a happy smile formed on his face as I tried to hold back a little laugh. I can’t believe we just did that. I can’t believe that this was even happening. This could all be some happy dream I’m having, but I knew it wasn’t. It felt real.

“I’m not… dreaming, right?” Ryker had asked, his face still a flush of red that was slowly going down. I shook my head, my heart beating amazingly fast. Good to know I wasn’t the only one who thought they were dreaming. But what do we do now? I’ve never been like this before. 

“Do you want to go to your house now?” Ryker had asked, pursing his lips as he planted his shoes on the ground, getting ready to go. No. I didn’t want to go to my house anymore. 

“Y-yours?” I smiled, in hoped that he’ll say yes. He laughed and nodded, taking the sidewalk back to his house. 

——————

The lights were off in his house as he quietly walked to his room. He placed me down on his nightstand where all of my makeshift stuff was. He never threw them away. Just for me. What are we now? Are we still friends? I don’t even know how this works. 

Ryker took off his hoodie, put on different shirt before turning on his lamp on his desk and turning off his lights. I stayed where I was at, wondering what I do now. I’ve never been in a relationship before. I don’t know how these things work. I don’t even know what to do. Was that bad? 

“Are you tired?” Ryker asked, sitting down on his bed while moving the covers and pillows to the way he likes. I shook my head, I wasn’t really, no. Not after what had just happened a few minutes ago. I was still a little confused, but at the same time happy. He really wasn’t going to leave me. 

“Well, I’m not really either.” Ryker laughed, bringing two fingers up to the part of his lower lips that I had kissed. Or at least tried to. I blushed a little. Was that bad? 

I climbed onto Ryker’s offered palm as he sat up against the head of his bed. I was covered by one of his hands like a blanket while also laying on his chest. Oh my heart will never get a break today- But I wasn’t saying that it was bad. If anything, today was the best day of my life. Nothing could change that. 

“Comfy?” Ryker laughed as I listened to his heartbeat, controlled and normal unlike my own. I didn’t know how to deal with any of this. I just snuggled up closer, hoping that it was fine. I was guessing it was when Ryker slid down, his head now resting on a pillow and his legs bent. Who knew that about a year ago I would have thought this was crazy to even think about doing, and yet, here I was. I was actually happy.

“You wouldn’t mind if I moved you, right?” Ryker had asked a hint of worry in his voice. 

“No.” I answered, getting in a better position for him to move me in. I would move myself if I had known where he wanted me, but anything that I was thinking of was not what he was thinking. And it only made my brain fry for just a few seconds. 

He lightly pinched me between two fingers, giving me another lighter kiss that practically covered my entire body before laying me back down. He laughed while I laid there, brain fried and flustered. I giggled a bit, snuggling closer and shutting my eyes. I’m glad to know that he likes me the same way I like him. 

Maybe I don’t wish to reverse time after all. 

——————

*Starts crying uncontrollably*

Thank you to everyone who’s read through all 13 chapters and stuck with me for so long! I appreciate every single one of you❤️

My first story is done though! Just in time for pride month too if you know what I mean :D Don’t worry, because I will definitely write some little scenes with these two in the future. How could I just throw these two away? NEVER.

Thank you everyone for reading, and I hope you enjoy whatever the next story will be. (I totally don’t already have characters and done some world building-) But thank you everyone!

Taglist: @da3dm

There's a moth that keeps getting into my blog, idk where it came from but it's come back enough i just decided to give it a mug

(thanks for hanging around my blog)

Oh. My. GODD!!!! THAT'S THE MOST ADORABLE AND PERFECT THING I'VE EVER SEE IN MY LIFE!! I LOVED IT SOOOOO MUCH!!

And thank you for the mug, I'll use this all time!

(And you can be sure that I will keep coming to your blog hehe)

Hey, hi

so, has been a while since I didn't draw something digital and I resolve to finaly draw this two (they're pathers in work and super besties)

I hope no one told him, but I'm not him, so could someone give me a hit about this hate for Caeser? I don't remember anything about him ☠️

I FINISH MERMAY!!

And guess what? Yes, he's another one of my ocs. This is Rémi! He's my lovely siren oc (and yes, he sing very well c:<)