Kill Me Once, Shame On You. Kill Me Twice, How Did You Did That.

gotham rainy nights

i firmly believe in Duke doing silly things with his power

hiding under your dad's cape when it's pouring outside can be something very special + bat-rain-poncho, several years later

when I told a friend that I was a devout member of the “English teacher Jason Todd” headcanon, her addition was: “what if he catches one of his students in a gang or something? He begins to deal psychic damage while beating people up”

Jason: YOU DIDNT EVEN KNOW HOW TO INDENT A PARAGRAPH UNTIL A WEEK AGO, JARED. PUT THE GUN AWAY Jared: *runs* Jason: *yelling at his back* YES, GO CRY TO THE MOM WHO WAS WRITING YOUR ESSAYS UNTIL TENTH GRADE

the gangs start avoiding him because they’ve found out that any of their newer, younger recruits will flee at the sight of him. (By god, how did he know about that horrible test score? That awkward boner? That PE incident involving a stinky shoe? How did he have that kid’s MOM’S PHONE NUMBER???)

Talia: *attempting to calm a newly conscious Jason Todd* I am sure this must come as a shock to you, child, but it’s been three years since- Jason: *jolting up in bed, scaring the shit out of five watching assassins* FUCK, MY FICS HAVE GONE UN-UPDATED FOR THREE YEARS? Talia: Jason: I PROMISED MY SUBSCRIBERS— Ra’s: *leaning over to Talia* what is a . . “Fic”? Talia: *shrugs*

Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?

Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.

Goon: Huh.

***

Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?

Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...

Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.

***

Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...

Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?

Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.

Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.

***

And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.

the idea that jason stils has slight memory gaps from when he was robin and before he died makes me laugh because it would be like--

jason: *talking about how he just called bruce dad for the first time again while in full red hood gear and in front of commissioner gordon* it was horrible. I'm never going to recover, dickie. the embarrassment was too much dick: *not even looking up from his phone* can't be worse than that time when you were 13 and professed your undying love for wonder woman in front of diana, who bruce hadd been about to introduce you to jason: *having a heart attack* can't be worse than the time I WHAT

Robin! Jason: Robin gives me magic! :D

Constantine: *suspicious side eye glaring* Hm....

Bruce: oh come on, just because I have a high chance of being consumed by evil if I do magic -which is why I'm not allowed to do magic- doesn't mean he will! That's just a kid's saying! Constantine: uh huh -------------------------------

Red hood! Jason: *all-blades in hand* Sup motherfuckers guess who's back Constantine: I FUCKING KNEW IT

you contradict yourself because you contain multitudes. i contradict myself because i am wrong.

Apparently the cure to artblock is to change fandoms and get more cartoony. I mean, just imagine the shenanigans that these three would get into. comedy gold

The only thing that scares the Krang.

I love how chaotic  @somerandomdudelmao Donnie is. Honestly I be scared too if I had to go up against that.

a severely underrated and underused pre-reveal-Red-Hood-plot is the one where Dick finds out that he’s Jason first, and out of desperation to make up for past failings at being a big brother and wanting to reconnect with Jason, he decides to keep it from the rest of the family and use it as a way for them to bond. clearly this could be funny for like a thousand different reasons, but the first way this could turn out that i can think of is obviously Bruce watching Nightwing and Red Hood getting closer and closer and instead of automatically coming to the realisation that it’s Dick getting to know and hanging out with his little brother, he immediately assumes that Nightwing and Red Hood are dating.

i’m torn between Jason finding this hysterical while Dick is horrified about it (Jason doesn’t have to deal with the sexual jokes from the family and talks about safety within villain/hero relationships) and both of them deciding it’s a prime opportunity to pull the greatest prank on Bruce possible (both of them leaning into the relationship thing publicly and then Jason casually taking off his helmet to give Dick a cheek-kiss and Bruce a fucking heart attack), but mostly i just think it would be funny if Dick got stressed about his web of lies and decided to rant to a friend, idk who probably Wally, and he gets to have this conversation:

Dick, pacing back and forth: i don’t know what to do, i mean my dad thinks i’m fucking my brother!

Wally, incredulous: …what the fuck did you do to make Bruce think you’re fucking Tim???

Dick, horrified: OH MY GOD NO? I MEANT JASON!

Wally: HE THINKS YOU’RE FUCKING A CORPSE!?

Dick: OK NO- I SHOULD HAVE EXPLAINED BETTER WAIT A SECOND-

Wally: *distressed noises*