kxshkrxzy

Latest Posts by kxshkrxzy

“Someone somewhere is searching for you in every person they meet.”

— Unknown

당신에 대한 모든 것을 싫어

oh I would 100% be lured by a vampire entirely too easy

yesterday I got the "are you a boy or are you a girl" question from a six-year-old, and I told her that some people aren't boys or girls (like me!) I was expecting her to be a little confused, but she nodded thoughtfully and said, "wow, just like snails."

...manifesting this👆🏾❣

moodboard part two.

Self Care Tips for the High Maintenance Woman 🌸

Life is tough…. but don’t let it consume you!

 Hey babes, It’s your girl Chichi! it’s no secret that living in the 21st century is tough. It seems like there are more demands on women than ever before, and the expectations for what a woman should be capable of doing at any given moment seem to increase with each passing day. The result? Stress levels through the roof, not enough time or money to do anything about it, and an emotional rollercoaster that never stops running.

Self-care is important for everyone, but it’s especially crucial for women in the age of self-doubt, social media judgment, and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

The good news is you don’t have to live this way!  Further down in this blog post, we’ll discuss 3 self-care tips for women so you can finally start taking better care of yourself without sacrificing who you are. 💅🏾

So… Chichi what even is self-care?

When you care for yourself, you are taking time to recharge your batteries. Its a form of tapping into your Feminine Energy! You’re self-nurturing, taking care of your body and mind so you can be the best version of yourself. It’s not selfish or a sign that you don’t love others; it’s simply about giving yourself what you need to do all the hard work in life. If you are interested in some other tips; “On how to tap into your Feminine Energy click here!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day for yourself, doing something that makes you feel good inside out, surrounding yourself with self-loving people, or treating yourself to something special every once in a while..

Self care is crucial for us High Maintenance Ladies!

A lack of self-care comes from never feeling like we have enough time, money, or self-love to do the things we need. We don’t prioritize ourselves because of our own self-doubt and lack of self-worth. Keep scrolling down to find out what 3 self care tips I focus most of my attention on!

#01 Prioritize  Sleeping Early

Want to improve your looks, memory, concentration, energy, and productivity? Want to more easily maintain a healthy weight? Want to strengthen your immune system and live happier, healthier, and longer? TRY GETTING AT LEAST 7-8 HOURS OF REST EACH NIGHT!

How you put yourself to bed and what time you turn off the lights makes a huge impact on how productive you’ll be the following morning, as well as our looks, memory, concentration, energy, and maintaining  healthy weight. I find it repulsive that western society stigmatizes sleep. Glorifying those who can push through an all-nighter and dismissing those who prioritize sleep as lazy or unmotivated.

Humans are not like the owls, or cats, or bats that sleep in the day and are awake at night. We are physiologically programmed to do the opposite. This phenomenon has been understood for thousands of years and was recently validated by modern science.

If your like me and used to be a night owl I literally had to train my brain to sleep early as 8-10pm! After a few weeks I fully became used to it and I’ve been doing this for the past year and a half! Here’s how I was able to do it:

 1.Avoid Large Meals Right Before Bedtime. Eat dinner at least 3 hours before sleeping

2.Start prepping yourself for bed in the Early Evening 7-8pm. Keep lights low. Limit exposure to bright light in the evenings. Relax. Worrying about a problem or a long to-do list can be a recipe for insomnia. Well before you turn in, try writing down your worries and make a list of tasks you want to remember. This “worry journal” may help move these distracting thoughts from your mind. Closer to bedtime, try com¬forting rituals that may help lull you to sleep: Listen to soft, calming music, take a warm bath, do some easy stretches or read a book or magazine by soft light.

You can practice saying this self-care affirmation right before you head to bed:

“I deserve to sleep 8 hours each night, because I am worth it!”

#02 Stay Active & Keep moving!

We know that staying active is one of the best ways to keep our bodies healthy. But did you know it can also improve your overall well-being and quality of life?

Here are just a few of the ways physical activity can help you feel better, look better and live better. Because, why not?

Regular physical activity can relieve stress, anxiety, depression and anger. You know that “feel good sensation” you get after doing something physical? Think of it as a happy pill with no side effects! Most people notice they feel better over time as physical activity becomes a regular part of their lives.It keeps you physically fit and able.

Without regular activity, your body slowly loses its strength, stamina and ability to function properly. It’s like the old saying: you don’t stop moving from growing old, you grow old from stopping moving. Exercise increases muscle strength, which in turn increases your ability to do other physical activities.

I dedicate an hour a day to practicing either Yoga (for relaxation, raising my vibration, & aligning my chakra’s) & Pilates (for stretching & maintaining my figure) with my little sister.

For those who don’t know what pilates is I’ll give you a quick summary..

Pilates is a challenging low impact exercise method that balances strength with mobility, aligns the body, fine-tunes movement patterns, and strengthens the deeper muscles of the core. It helps strengthen your core, Posture, reduces mensural pain, eliminates stress, boosts flexibility & agility enhances body awareness.

You can practice saying this self-care affirmation when you choose exercise!

“I deserve keep my body fit, because I am worth it!”

#03 Make a habit of eating healthy

Practicing self-care eating means making thoughtful choices about the foods that you put into your body.  

Being mindful of what your putting inside of your body is important! Think about it you were born with this body only. would you want to feed it things that would be detrimental to your health?

If you think about it..without attending to one’s own bodily, emotional, and mental needs, how can that same person attend to anything or anyone else?

The food that you choose should provide energy and the nutrition that you need to manage your weight and stay healthy for the long-term. That includes protein, vitamins, fruits, vegetables, whole grains and healthy fats.

To practice self-care eating, ask yourself these 6 questions when you are in the grocery store, planning your meals for the week, or sitting down to eat:

Am I eating to fuel my body? Food is energy. If you are choosing food for other reasons, try writing in a food journal to better understand those choices.

Am I including fresh fruits and vegetables? Fruits and vegetables provide important micro-nutrition as well as fibre. Good gut health will lead to a longer life! reduce risk of Colon Cancer.

Am I meeting my hydration goals? 64 oz or 2L of water, each day help you maintain regularity, lubricate joints, avoid headaches, and regulate temperature.

 Am I eating at mealtimes? An eating schedule helps you avoid mindless snacking, impulsive or emotional eating, and helps keep calorie intake in check.

Am I focused on the meal, or distracted by something else? Eat in your eating place. Avoid eating in the car, in front of the TV, or in your relaxing place.

You can practice saying this self-care affirmation when you choose nutritious meals! 

“I deserve to eat this healthy food, because I am worth it!”

In Conclusion…

We all need to care for ourselves for different reasons. Whether you have a family, work full time outside of the home, or are studying to become a professional and it’s hard to balance both responsibilities with self-care.

Self-care is an essential part of living a healthy life. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you may not be able to take care of the people who matter most to you.

Taking time for yourself without feeling guilty, isn’t selfish. It’s essential. It may be difficult at first, but it’s worth the effort if you want to feel healthy and be there for the people you love the most.

If making yourself a priority isn’t coming naturally to you yet, don’t give up—it only gets easier with practice. It takes different forms depending on your needs and personality preferences. One self-care routine could involve taking walks outside or listening to music while another might mean reading a good book by candlelight.

So, find what works best and inspires you and make yourself a priority.

Have any self care tips you’d like to add? let us know in the comments! (chichi xo)

want to see more posts like these? follow @miss-femme-fatale​ for more!

Source: @miss-femme-fatale​

There’s so much to learn, unlearn and relearn

Start where you are

Avoid wasting time, energy and money like I did. I heard someone say once that most of leveling up is just having the money to do so. Since not everyone has 10,000$ to drop on an overnight physical glow up, it has to be done in phases. 

When I started leveling up I was so overwhelmed with all this information I didn’t what to do with. I spent the first year wasting resources on steps I wasn’t ready for. Only to have to step back and start over at the beginning of 2021. I didn’t even have an idea of what I really wanted at the end of my journey. Physically, romantically or career wise. I just knew I wanted to be rich and different than I started. 

The glow up is a journey so it may take over a year or so to complete fully but it’s so worth it. 

This is in order of what should be done and cost. 

General level up

Workout routines 3-4x a week at home that you are excited to do!

Get in the habit of drinking 2 liters of water a day

Fix your sleep schedule! 8hrs a night.  

Nails grown and done yourself

Pick 5 hairstyles to rotate

Eyebrows waxed, tweezed, or threaded. 

Have makeup and makeup remover. 

For now just use drug store makeup. As long as it looks good and doesn’t break out the skin no one can tell where you got it from. Besides drug store makeup has gotten much better over the years. 

Makeup needed: Foundation, primer, mascara, eye liner, lip liner, blush, contour, lashes, concealer, eyeshadow, setting spray/powder + Brush set.

Daily makeup style picked out

Learn to sew and fix your own clothes to fit properly

Get a notebook to track every single expense for the glow up journey 

Take online free courses/lessons. Pick up like 4 or 5 new skills to beef up your resume or your social intrigue.

Sit down with a snack, a pen, a notebook and read the blogs you look up to.

What’s the point of having access to all these tips, tricks and life hacks if its just a reblog to be tagged and forgotten or worse lost in the shuffle of your blog?

Read. 

Just in general. Read for fun. Whether its good, bad, trashy, or so bad it’s good. All reading is time well spent. 

Also read self improvement novels.There are so many of them. Pick a category (ex personal finance, emotional growth, eating well, beauty, nutrition, time management, persuasion, procrastination, seduction, romance, friend making, mental wellness, strategy, investing) and go wild. Finish at least 2 a month. 1 a month if taking notes.  

Cost: 87$ max

Nest egg

Make an emergency fund of 1,500$. 3,500$ would be ideal.

1,500$ for real emergencies only! 1,500$ saved in 1 year is 30$ a week. 60$ a week for 6 months. 107$ a week for 14 weeks. 

2,000$ for later upgrades. It’s a slush fund so you don’t have to worry about finding money for whatever you need later. 

To save 3,500$ in 1 year 67$ a week or 135$ biweekly or 291$ a month. In 6 months 582$ a month, 270$ biweekly, 134$ a week. 

There’s no reason to look like a million dollars and have 5$ in my bank account. Priorities. 

This can be done while in the General level up and Polish phase. 

Cost: Time. Discipline needed. 

Polish

New outfits that compliment your body shape. 

I will continue to sing the praises of capsule closets. Its the easiest way to go shopping and have a bunch of outfits for next to nothing. I recommend 23 pieces: 3 pants, 4 dresses, 3 skirts, 7 shirts and 2 jackets/coats and 2 pairs of shoes.

2 quality purses (1 large/1 small) 

Consignment stores have luxury bags at 50-75% off.

Gym membership (paid off for a full year) 

Take some pressure off your own shoulders by paying for it in full. Planet fitness 10$ a month, 10$ down + fees comes out to 180$ a year. 

Go 3-4x a week. For at least 30 mins of sweating. 

2 perfumes for your signature scents.

One for casual day to day wear to work, to the store, to school, to hobby classes. One for special occasions like dates, events, company parties. 

Quality Makeup that works with your skin type.

Oily, dry, or combination. Your face is your baby. Treat her well. 

New glasses that fit your face shape or contact lenses. 

Keep up with your nails, hair, eyebrows and healthy habits.

Cost: $$$

Lifestyle changes. Experiment!

Lifestyle (diet) change. 

Research and experiment until you find one that keeps you full, satisfies you and allows you to eat your favorite snacks/meals in moderation. 

Skincare routine

Makeup remover, cleanser for morning and night, toner, serum, essence, anti-aging creams, moisturizer, sleep mask, exfoliator, sunscreen. 

I started with the Korean 10 step skincare routine to find what worked for me and got rid of the steps I didn’t like or didn’t need. Like sheet masks, and essences. 

Full Body Beauty Routine put together: 

Skincare, shower routine, haircare, nail care, below the neck skincare.

Upgrade your room, sleepwear and loungewear!

Invest in a room you actually want to work and relax in.   

Map out that business you wanna start.

Business plan, website content, business cards, goals, products, licenses needed, social media presence. Look into grants to get your funding.

Write down short term and long term savings goals

Saving mindlessly makes people more likely to spend it because its money in a jar, coming out of their check for no defined reason. Give yourself a reason and you’ll be less likely to mess up your own progress. Examples of goals:

3-6 months of emergency savings- long term

Retirement- long term

Business start up- short term

Last round of upgrades- short term

A house- long term

Investing money- short term

Vacation money- short term

Make a budget and start saving in earnest!

Set aside time for studying, reading, relaxing and recharging daily.

Make a vision book/board

Make a lookbook of outfits, makeup styles and aesthetics you love

5-10 year goals written down

Pick out any further degrees, certifications, licenses you want for your career. 

Pick up new hobbies.

Keep reading, learning and gaining skills from free courses.

Research different personas and brands to find which you want to represent.   

Clean up your social media presence.

Cost: Time, patience and $$$

Full reinvention

Get a lock box for your birth certificate, SSN, check book, warranties, and receipts. 

Get your teeth straightened and whitened.

Braces, wisdom teeth pulled, veneers, filled in crowns ect. The smile is the most inviting thing about the face. Make it pop. 

If you wear glasses or contacts: laser eye surgery.

Body hair removal. Laser or Electrolysis.

Both work. Electrolysis destroys the hair follicle but the sessions take longer and may cost more because it may take 6 or visits to do the full area. Laser is cheaper but most women have to continue to go back for maintenance and its easy to burn black women, even in an office. Home laser devices usually don’t service brown to dark skinned women. 

Start seeing a dermatologist, nutritionist, and personal trainer monthly

Get a passport booklet

If you want plastic surgery, start saving/get it done. 

Start that business! Order the business cards, design the website, create the products. 

Get a closet full of clothes that matches your persona or personas. 

Sets of outfits for Work, Casual, & Formal settings. You can pick different styles for each type- Cottage core casual, business barbie for work, and 1950′s pinup for formal events.

This is where you go all out. Nothing but quality fabrics, statement pieces, and jewelry that will last at least 2 years or more. 

I’d go with a 40 piece capsule closet: 10 tops, 10 skirts, 10 Dresses, 5 Jeans/pants, 3 shoes, 2 Jackets.

Don’t forget stockings, panty hose, breast pasties, and bra strap holders.

Examples of styles: Cottage core, classic feminine, sexy, cute, alternative, sporty, business, y2k, 70s, 80s, 50′s, soft glam, barbie/bratz doll. Ectera.  

Take those hobby classes

Get your scholarships, degrees and certifications

Pick a persona and create the social media, and irl community presence.

Keep track of your costs! 

Treat it like a business and you’ll see where you’re wasting money, how you can improve and create a budget for future use. 

Keep notes too- what brand was the lipstick you bought, what color, how did it feel on you, did it look good, how long did it last, did it come off easily when eating, would you buy it again? 

Sections: One time static costs. Recurring costs, Product page with notes. 

Cut out toxic people. 

Anyone that makes you feel less than or perpetually uncomfortable should have their access to you provoked. 

“I did XYZ to better myself, and this is how they treat me?”

It’d be like paying 2,500$ for a seat at the La Scala, Milan for the best classical music concert in the world only to be behind a pillar in the corner with someone next to you on their phone all night. 

Or applying for a job after you got the highest degrees available in your field, were valedictorian, and only applied for established multimillion dollar companies. Only for them to offer you 10$ an hour on a position worth 50$ an hour. 

This one is last for three reasons. One it’s not always as simple or easy as blocking them and never speaking again, an exit strategy may be necessary. Two sometimes it pays, literally, to have these people around. If they have contacts I want I’ll get them before I go. If being around them cuts down the costs of something significant in my life I save the extra money while I plan my exit strategy. By the time I’ve left I’ve gotten my payment for any sabotage they’ve thrown my way. Three it’s an ongoing process. New friends can turn to new enemies in the right conditions. You may never be 100% free of having any snakes in your garden so it’s good to stay vigilant.

Cost: Time, Patience, Empathy for yourself, $$$$$

Slow down. Take it easy. Work smart. 

Dear black girl,

Go where you are most loved and respected.