I Miss Milo Chat

hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak

I hate to break this to you, but mobius is actually a girl dad. You guys are just choosing to avoid the truth

sally jackson. reblog if you agree.

phineas and ferb episode that is rated pg13 so they are allowed one f-bomb. candace keeps trying to find the perfect situation to use it but every time she tries she gets interrupted or drowned out by a comically loud horn. meanwhile doofenshmirtz has made the censor-inator because now that they're pg13 he's convinced that vanessa doesnt know any swear words (she knows all of them) and that she'll explode if she hears someone say "shit" so he wants to make the entire tri-state area child-friendly. he flies it over danville in his official blimp and a one-off joke is that his laser hits a rated r movie that's a clear parody of the human centipede or someshit and it turns into a barney-the-dinosaur-ass psa. at the last second perry destroys the inator and knocks it out of the blimp and it fires off one more laser that censors out phineas and ferb's invention before mom can get home. candace tries to finally drop her one-allowed cuss but her voice has given out. perry comes back and makes a little platypus noise (all of those have been swear words the whole time but because nobody speaks platypus nobody notices) and then part of doof's machine crashes into the house (candace is in charge) and ferb says "what the fuck"

Why.

I swear im gonna do something, i dont even know what but i just feel ready to explode. I was reading SW fanfic as i tend to do, Darth Vader enters the scene, and quietly in the back of my mind, I realize i hear the imperial march.

I pause to snort at my brain’s silly antics, when i’m struck with the realization that I do this 

every.

single.

time.

And I can’t not. Every fucking time vader does one of his dramatic entrances. I can’t not hear a ‘dun, dun, dun, dun DUH DUN dun DUH DUN’ AND IM SO FUCKING MAD WHY DO BRAINS WORK LIKE THIS

Anyways sorry if I accidentally revealed this cursed knowledge in your subconscious.

Having ADHD is constantly checking the time so it doesn’t get naughty and pass 15 minutes while you tie your shoes

got chased by a skeleton but when they caught me they just gave me a kiss and hug. turns out it was an xoskeleton.

Me in 5 weeks when im surprised marvel queerbaited me:

good omens x winnie the pooh just heals my soul

Them: gender is what’s in between your legs

Me, who as been flailing around in bed trying to get comfy for the past hour: sheets.