Patton: (unbuttons Polo One Button More Than Usual Because It's Hot Out)

This is the first time anyone's tagged Thomas on one of my posts (I think) oh my god this was a barely coherent thought when I was half-asleep—

Janus’s light side name is Janan

Side Allergies

Canon ones, (with proof):

Patton: Allergic to cats

(It even has a front pouch to place an actual cat, if you so desire.)

"Oh, I can't. I'm allergic."

Remus: Allergic to soap

"It's got soap on it! I'm allergic to soap, you (beep)!"

Roman: Allergic to cats

"You think you know someone and then WHAM! Out of nowhere... they fill your apartment with feral cats?! And now you're somehow responsible for the vet bills? You've got to give them away, but despite your cat allergy, you've endeared yourself to them, especially to Mrs. Snuffles... more like Mrs. Sniffles! ...Because of the allergy."

So, for the others, my guesses for allergies are:

Logan: Allergic to bullshit

Janus: Allergic to society

Virgil: Allergic to makeup remover

Everyone reblogging this with some variation of 'poly pat' is so intensely valid

Good morning! I'd just like to point out:

[Patton]: First, we'll need someone to practice on...

[Logan]: But who?

[Patton]: Each other?

(After they all swear to tell the truth during the trial scene and Janus takes the bibles/misc objects back away)

[Patton]: Okay, so, we kiss now? Or...?

Bonus:

[Patton]: Aww, there's so much cool stuff they've done for us online, kiddos!

[Roman]: Oh yeah?

[Patton]: There's some really neato artwork of us all AND some writing as well! Say, what is a "ship"?

[Logan]: Seriously, Morality, you don't know what that is? It is a craft designed for water travel.

[Virgil]: Even Prince knew that.

[Roman]: Yeah, even I knew that.

[Patton]: Oh, ok! It does not look like that, but ok.

I just want to point out those all happened in canon. That is all.

Janus: Yeah, I can look at their bank account and the worth of every item they own. Money is more than just the material objects of bills and coins.

Logan: *huff*

Logan. "Why don't you believe ghosts are real?"

Janus. "I've never seen one."

Logan. "Okay, I mean, there's a lot of things that you can't see that you— that are real."

Janus. "What can't I see?"

Logan. "You can't see gravity, that's real."

Janus. "Yeah, I can drop an apple."

Logan. "Fuck."

I'm bored so I'm gonna summarize each of the sanders sides episodes but badly

Just Patton Being Relatable In My Band AU Fic

“I am a little marshmallow boy, I am not made for physical activity.”

“I’ve kind of always wanted an excuse to give myself a makeover. Make me punk.”

"Now I am happy and healthy and medicated.”

“Let's stick together, though. ‘Cuz two of us can't really talk right now and I get lost super easily.”

(About being obvious about their sexualities) “I don't try to talk about it, but just… Boys!”

[Patton and Emile meet]

Patton: Oh, hi, kiddo! The fans have told me so much about you, about how we'd get along super well—

Emile, whipping out a notepad: So, tell me about your need to always have the answer and inability to say that you don't know for fear of disappointing the others. When did that start?

Patton, tears already streaming down his face: What.

Reasons I'd Make A Great Drag Queen, Hypothetically:

- Already very used to wearing "women's" clothes

- Already experienced with makeup

- No need for fake breasts

- I hardly have any eyebrows to cover

- "Women's" clothes/dresses fit my body shape very well

- I'm already familiar with "women's" clothes sizings

- Short hair so I can easily wear a wig

- Pierced ears so I could wear earrings

- Very experienced in heels

- Naturally long and thick eyelashes

- Queer

I was thinking about Sapnap's name and how it used to be Pandas and was supposed to be Pandas backwards

Anyway

I was like 'it's not really Pandas though... what would Pandas backwards be?' and I realized that Pandas backwards is Sadnap

Which, like

Yeah I can see why he didn't chose Sadnap as his name

Remus. Oh my god.

Janus. What?

Remus. It's a fucking dead bird.

Janus. What? Oh, that's an omen, or something.

Patton. Why is there a dead bird in here?

Logan. There was probably a live bird in here and then something happened that made it dead.

Remus. Oh. Great analysis, doc. Oh Jesus, it's all rotted and it's eyes are gone, this is horrifying.

Logan. Well, its eyes aren't gonna stick around.