I Don’t Know How To Ask For Help I Disappear And Come Back When I’m Good

venom (2018) production designer: *puts a lobster tank in the middle of a restaurant to show how fancy it is*

tom hardy:

I’m not mysterious and quiet I’m just iron deficient

What makes you think that hitting a child will educate them? It’ll just traumatize and scare them. Don’t be disgusting.

Do you ever think about how Hamlet starts after the king’s death - after Hamlet has fallen into depression - therefore, we have no idea of knowing what Hamlet was like before all of it went down?

Do you ever wonder what Hamlet was like before tragedy struck? Who was the man Horatio and Ophelia were in love with? Who was the man that the people of Denmark adored?

Because I do. All the time.

i want to study at a British university

i will spell color as colour and use degrees celcius. i would watch Sherlock on BBC all night while drinking a cuppa tea with my flatmates. i’ll have fish and chips every day that’s worth 5 quid. i would go to gaff parties every night. i am also more likely to meet chavs, One Direction, Ed Sheeran and the Queen.

i wish i was british :(

angel plumbers

Dumbass Academia: A Concept

Making snarky jokes when someone asks what you plan to do with your major

Ex: “My real life plan is to marry rich and become a wealthy widow at a young age. College is just a pickup scene.” 

Getting used to various mystery stains on all your books/essays/papers 

Is it food? Is it a water stain from reading in the bathtub? Is it tears? Were you annotating the book and some ink blotted up? Who knows? Certainly not you, better read around it. 

Speaking of annotating books: Underlining all the bad words 

This is especially fun if it’s something more “high brow” like a poetry book

Your glasses (if you wear them) are somehow always either dirty or scratched. You can’t see with them off, but you can’t see all that well with them on either. 

You have a book. You want to read the book. It is highly recommended. It’s supposed to be very good. It will allow your mind to grow. It may even have a deep meaning or important historical significance that you really care about absorbing. Alas, neither your brain nor your heart has room for new characters to love or new obsessions to fixate on. You read fanfiction instead. 

Finding a way to justify pretty much anything you like as part of your preferred aesthetics

Ex: “The show Rick and Morty totally counts as dark academia because it heavily involves science and education and also because gay stuff happens in it.”

Ex: “Wearing black lipstick is totally within the realm of cottagecore because there are black flowers and good rich dirt is often black and there are black nights with beautiful shining stars. 

Correcting people about small errors on an impulse and then realizing two days later that they were actually right. 

Writing things in code and posting them randomly online

(If I get to 150 followers on this blog I will be doing that btw)

Posting stuff or saying stuff and pretending that you don’t care about people’s opinions on what you say because you’re in this for you but secretly anytime you get a notification you almost cry because you’re so excited 

Using old beat up notebooks and any pens you can get your hands on because you don’t have the time or money for fancy stationary 

Being a little pretentious and doing things purely For The Aesthetic but then ten minutes later you’re eating mac and cheese and watching cartoons in the bathtub because being elitist is fun but it takes so much time and effort 

Having a lot of mottos but none of them actually really apply to you but you insist that they are in fact what you base your life on anyway. Sometimes they like, half apply? But never all the way

Ex: “Be gay do crime”

Were you a gifted kid who didn’t quite fit in with everyone else in the gifted program’s intellectual strong suits? Or a gifted kid who now feels like you’ve become completely mediocre/average? You fit in

Alternatively were you a student who wasn’t considered one of the “smart” kids and even may have been treated like you were dumb and/or less than other students because you didn’t connect to your schooling “the correct way”? You fit in too

Constantly changing your aesthetic because something else seems cool

You read those “tea or coffee?” things and scoff because who can decide? 

Going feral over abandoned buildings for no reason

Making bad jokes that most other people don’t get because they’re about really niche topics 

Whenever someone asks you about a book you’re reading or what you’re studying you panic and say something nonsensical 

Coming up with or researching conspiracy theories, but more about small local things like why there are never major storms in your town than big conspiracies like the moon landing 

Not that you can’t also be into the big conspiracy theories

Being either ridiculously emotional all the time or being completely devoid of emotions all the time. 

Hamlet: I sure showed those guys, huh?

Hamlet: Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying?

I guess cats aren’t so cold after all

Post Apocalyptic Stories

video game/fanfiction: so this is NYC in the future, robots have free will and are starting a revolution against humans, non-toxic vegetables are getting rarer and rarer due to pollution, there are only 2 billion people left on earth,

me : ha nice some XXIVth century shit

game/fanfic : The Year Is 2025,