Scratch That, Dani’s A Lying Hoe

When you're in a dormant fandom just sittin and watchin other fandoms float on by on the breeze of trash

Coming into a fandom late

Solas, you absolute trash man. You goof. You dweeb.

See this? The lute in his hideout under the Lady of Glory statue? See what’s at the top there…?

This homeless loser bought a lute with his own fucking face on it. He wanted to get caught so fucking badly he walked into a store and either picked this shit out or worse, had it custom made. This’s the medieval equivalent of Vanilla Ice getting his own face tattooed on his back. I hate him.

(He’s one of my favorite fictional characters ever)

Why am I crying laughing in a Wegman’s?

me, eating a pile of nuts, cheese, and apple: mmmm tasty

the medieval peasant in my head watching me eat: thou knowst what would MAKETH this meal? dried fruits.

me, getting out the raisins: god damn, etheldred, you are SO right

the medieval peasant in my head: yet thou art still not heeding mine words regarding the blasphemy

Imagine knowing Geralt of Rivia for many years...but when he finds you again, you've stopped your questing and become a bard...singing with the same voice that entranced him all those years ago...

Geralt stops dead in his tracks as he passes in front of Dandelion’s tavern in Novigrad. He couldn’t believe his own ears…as the sound of a silken voice he hadn’t heard for an age came to his ears. Ciri, Triss and Yennefer who were walking with him gave him a queer look. “Geralt, what on earth are you stopping for?” Triss asked. Geralt weighed his options and took a deep breath. “I-…I need to go see who’s playing.” He said awkwardly, praying in his mind that it was actually you. He hurried into the tavern, listening to the end of your song, smiling faintly as his suspicion was confirmed. The girls just watched him as he ignored the crowd, lowering his hood and walking right up on stage, hugging you tightly just after you set your lute down. After a warm greeting and some explanation, he came to introduce you to the girls and they were all stunned by you. “Ladies, I’d like you to meet Y/n…I’ve known her longer than Vesemir.” He smiled just a bit more warmly. “G-Geralt-” Ciri stammered. “Her eyes and hair- Is she-…a Witcher…?” She asked in shock. “A woman as a Witcher…that’s-…not possible.” Triss said with a breathtaken tone. You just smiled and bowed low. “I stopped hunting years ago…but I like to keep my edge, working with Dandy. It’s wonderful to finally meet the women that he sings about.” You chuckled…it was the first time you had seen Geralt in nearly a hundred years…

Little more of my Crow!Rook, cause I got the Lords of Fortune fit. Viago’s reluctantly proud of her for almost slaying the dragon and saving Treviso.

Headcanon about the toning down of the Crows in Veilguard.

If we think about ages of Teia/Viago/Illario and Lucanis (and Rook, if that's your HC), they're all (roughly) the same age, right? And I would imagine not much different in age to Zevran, who's been messing with the Crows since DAO.

So what if they're the 'next generation', and perhaps agree with "oh shit, what the Crows used to do was awful, we've got to do better". Teia does have some hero worship of Caterina going on, sure, but I like to think that this generation of Talons is actually doing much better than their predecessors thanks to Zevran clearing the way for them and showing them they can do better.

Ugh, I dunno, I just want to feel hopeful in this little space because I'm very much enjoying Crow!Rook

*Veilguard Thought*

“Feather Brigade,”

Davrin, you big fucking nerd (affectionate)

Okay, hear me out. The Lord of the Rings…but they’re allowed to use curse words…

“They have a fucking cave troll...”

“I cannot jump the distance! You’ll have to fucking toss me!”

“Merry! It’s Frodo fucking Baggins!”

“Gods damn it…a Balrog of fucking Morgoth.”

“Fool of a fucking Took.”

“Bitch, please. I am no man.”

“Peregrin Took, you little shit!”

“By nightfall, these hills will be crawling with fucking orcs.”

“I think I’ve fucking broken something.”

“Your bodyguard?” “His fucking gardener.”

“I would cut off your head, you little shit, if it stood but a little higher from the ground.”

“You’re late…you look fucking terrible.”

“And for you Frodo Baggins…Elrond’s father in a fucking bottle.”

“PO-FUCKING-TA-TOES!”

Coffee shop AU where Boba Fett owns a café called “Boba’s Tea” where they obviously sell boba, Polynesian treats, latte art, assorted pastries and is home to the following employees...

A single dad with a shady past attending community college classes at night for a degree in linguistics who works in the café to help support his very quiet son, Grogu (Gregory who can’t pronounce his own name) with deep olive skin.

A former military sniper turned chef who served with Boba in a civil war they refuse to ever speak of again and takes her kitchen cleanliness as seriously as she does the condition of her knife collection.

An Instagram influencer with multiple medals in martial arts who has a food content TikTok where she displays her latte art whenever she isn’t being yelled at for being on her phone, but with all the business her two and a half million followers bring in? Boba feels it’s a worthy compromise.

A tech/engineering major with an on-call IT job during the week and teaches Taekwondo on Saturdays. Helped Boba set up a website for the café, an espresso machine broke while he was there and fixed it in no time. Now, the “tech wiz” can work his magic every time the single dad “accidentally” breaks something else in the café for an excuse to see him again. He also occasionally babysits Grogu and teaches him how to code and a little martial arts to occupy his little brain.

And last but certainly not least, a divorced man who was a police officer in his younger days, turned barista in his retirement and loving every minute of it except for when he sees “them damn skateboarding kids” ruining the curbs outside with their wax or trying to track down the “dirt bags” who tagged the alley wall with “death watch” graffiti consistent with a local gang.

I give that voice an A+++++

Reblog if you find Brynjolf's accent sexy