Batman: Captain Marvel, You Have Been Spotted Multiple Times With This Boy, *holds Up A Picture Of Freddy*

Had a humans are space orcs thought

So you know how humans almost universally like to pet animals no matter the size. (Yes I might want to pet a lion and I am not going to apologize for that. Well what if that is a trait that is unique to us/our planet?

Bounty hunting alien group with their new human crew mate lands on a planet to secure their target. After a brief search, the group encounters a guard dog... of sorts. A beast taller than a moose and built better than a bear snarls and growls, bearing its fangs. All members of the group back away slowly and ready their weapons. All, except the human who suddenly gets excited.

"Oh you're so vicious aren't you? Who's a vicious beast? Whose a vicious beast? Yes you are." The human says.

The rest of the group stares in disbelief at the human, who must have lost his mind. Wondering if they should intervene, but also kind of terrified of both the beast, and now, the human.

The beast leans in, inches away from the humans face, letting out a deep growl. The Human reaches up to pet the it, who quickly leans away, wondering what the furless bipedal is up to. Determined to pet the new animal, the human continues. His hand catching up to its head, he starts to scratch behind his ear.

The beast relaxes, experiencing a joy it never thought it wanted. A few minutes go by, and the beast lays down, relenting to the humans pets. Before long, it shows its stomach, not knowing why just reacting to a primal instinct it did not know existed.

"You want some belly rubs!" The human exclaims, rubbing the beasts belly.

Leg kicking away, the beast gets lost in the bliss for a few minutes, until the alien captain finally speaks up.

"Human, What are you doing. That beast is dangerous!" The captain barks.

"Are you a dangerous beast? Whose a dangerous beast?" The human exclaims, continuing to pet the beast.

"Human!" The captain shouts.

"It's fine! See he likes it." The human defends.

Not believing what they are seeing, the rest of the party continue on to find the target, leaving the human to bond with his new pet.

Steve actually loves science fiction but it’s infinitely funnier to piss Dustin off by repeatedly mispronouncing the names is the characters in Star Wars because, “It’s Skywalker, Steve. Not Stair-Master! And his name is Luke, not Lucas! No one is named Lucas.”

“I think at least one person is.”

“In the movie.”

Dustin has recently discovered Doctor Who and is kinda a dick about explaining it to Steve. He heavily implies that Steve isn’t smart enough for the show like Steve’s mom doesn’t have a friend in England that tapes the new episodes and mails it to them.

Steve could share that information with Dustin but he’s not going to. Instead, when Dustin brings up The Doctor, Steve says, “Woah, Doc Hagan got a tv show?”

“It’s not a show about your dentist, Steve!”

If Steve is trying to round up all the kids and they’re being particularly annoying, he’ll clap his hands together and says, “C’mon, Ghost-bangers.”

The first thing he did after facing the demo-dogs was to memorize the entire D&D monster guide. He could tell Dustin this but D&D seems insufferable to him and it’s going to be way more satisfying when he catches the kid bullshitting an explanation and can call him out.

Robin knows about the stack of HG Wells books shelved in the den and Eddie definitely knows something is up. But Dustin? Nope.

There’s literally a picture on the mantle in the living room of him and his mom dressed as Spock and Nurse Chappell at a Star Trek convention when he was eight. Dustin walks passed it twice a week and has never noticed.

Shazam has a Twitter and everything he posts is just straight up lies but nobody can figure out if he has a super weird life or if he’s messing with all of them (it’s both)

Tumblr Holidays:

• March 14th: Pi Day

• March 15th: Ides of March

• April 1st: April Fools Day and Mishapocalypse Memorial Day

• April 13th: Homestuck Day

• April 20th: Weed Day

• September 8th: Queen Elizabeth Killed By Sans Undertale Day

• November 5th: Destiel Canon Day

There's unexplored comedic potential with Captain Marvel/Shazam and his powers.

I know when they say "the power of Zeus" they focus on lightning, but Zeus is also a shapeshifter in mythology, that's one of his favorite forms of abuse of power.

Theoretically, Billy could be like Beast Boy or the Martians, and being a child, he would inevitably do dumb shit with this power.

Imagine him transforming into a goose and asking someone to post something like this

hypothetically if I read crack fanfic during a church service will I get smitted by God. completely hypothetical 

i vote we should be able to blaze other people's posts. as features go, it would cause havoc and distress and alienate this website's userbase. need i say more

Warriors: “It’s illegal to be better-looking than me.”

Four: “Well, everyone, it looks like we’re all going to jail.”

Does anyone else feel like every possible star wars ship is kinda dumb or boring in some way