Rabbit-with-a-grapefruit-spoon - I Have A Sharpened Spoon

Billy: is consistently on time for his monitor duty, consistently arrives for meetings promptly, makes sure to call in whenever he can when he knows he might not be available for a day or more, tries to memorize procedures, and is friendly to the other JL members

Other JL members: Cap is really nice, and you can always count on him to help out the best he can if you’re struggling.

Billy, an actual child: This is great. I’m going to get a good grade in coworker, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

In truth all the other octopi just think you’re a right bastard who needs to “shut the fuck up Dave, we know you ate the fish from the tank across the hall nobody cares” and have now stopped associating you as the same species as them.

You are an “eldritch abomination” who is actually just an octopus in an aquarium with a superiority complex.

so athena burst out fully born from zeus's skull, right?

he don’t got the booty

So, there’s this idea that Captain Marvel is the idealized form of Billy Batson, right? Like, the version of himself he aspires to be. The hero he wants to become. The face he wants the world to see-- strong, bright, safe, inspiring.

And, well… Captain Marvel looks a lot like C.C. Batson. His father. That’s Billy’s hero. That’s the face that makes him believe in good. The smile that gives him hope and faith in his dreams. With a few traces of his mom, like her eyelashes, her ears, nose

But… that can change. Right?

Billy’s going to meet new people. He’s going to have new heroes in his life. New people to look up to. New versions of “who I want to be like.”

So one day, Marvel looks like a perfect blend of C.C. and Marilyn. And then, after a particularly emotional moment with John Constantine, he shows up at the Watchtower… with a different jawline.

His bone structure is slightly off. You wouldn’t notice unless you were really paying attention. But Bruce was. Bruce always is. He doesn’t say anything, just quietly writes it down with some suspicion of a possible shapeshifter.

And then, boom-- WHERE THE HELL ARE MARVEL’S DIMPLES?! They’re gone. Just gone. When he smiles, it’s a completely different smile. No dimples. There’s… are those canines? Slightly unhuman teeth and-- wait, Is that SUPERMAN’S smile? A perfect, radiant replica??

The next day, the dimples are back. Because Marvel caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and he missed them. Not consciously. He didn’t even realize it. But they’re back anyway.

It all happens unconsciously. And it changes from time to time.

One day he’s got feline eyes and sharp little teeth, a goofy yet oddly charming (and a little predatory) grin. That’s Tawky Tawny’s influence.

Another day, his eyes aren’t blue anymore, they’re green. Sharp. Focused. But also warm. You feel seen, and still, oddly… safe. (Catwoman likes Cap. She’s been nice to him ever since he introduced her to Tawny.)

Then-- No freaking way he’s BLONDE. (Thanks, Constantine.)

One day, his eyes are still blue, but now they’re icy. Almost crystal. Batman nearly has a heart attack because it’s his father’s eyes. His father’s eyebrows too. (Billy was just really happy with Bruce Waynbe since he donated a massive bunch of money to Fawcett’s homeless shelters.)

And then.. pointy ears. A different nose. (Kon.)

J’onn shares his special cookies with him one afternoon and now Marvel’s got a little green tint in his cheeks instead of red.

He never hides it. If someone asks, he just shrugs and goes, “Oh yeah, my features kinda shift based on people I admire? I guess. I don’t really notice until you guys point it out. I can’t control it.”

A lot of people think his tall, muscular body comes from Superman. But nope. It’s from Diana.

Billy sees her: tall, powerful, graceful, hair always a little wild but somehow perfect. Elegant. Commanding. He thinks she’s incredible. So he becomes tall, powerful, elegant. Hair that never moves out of place (but still has a charmingly messy style). All that’s missing is a little more confidence and posture.

And Flash? Flash nearly dies of happiness when Marvel shows up one day— with his awkward little half-smile.

so we were talking about aizawa and i found myself very funny (as usual) so i thought i’d share. feral pro hero eraserhead who chases midoriya izuku through alleyways until he goes home really deserves to be an actual au. dadzawa but make it as feral as possible

Short DPXDC Prompts #837

Danny was just relaxing doing his homework on the moon. (It was quiet and had minimal distractions. Perfect for studying). He didn’t expect to see anyone during his studying but after seeing movement out of the corner of his eye he went to check it out. To his surprise: Superman was just sitting on the moon looking down at earth. Chilling.

Batman had Danny by his leg. More specifically he was hanging Danny upside-down 40 stories in the air via said leg.

Okay. So Danny maaay have stolen some tech from a lab. Okay, a lot of tech. But Batman thought he was a witness or an accomplice! Not the perpetrator themselves! Does he do this to all his witnesses?

Appearently Danny said that last part out loud and his sass was unappreciated, hence Batman letting go. Unfortunately for both of them Danny didn't want to fall and he instinctually stayed there floating perfectly still in mid air.

Danny may be a terrible liar, but he was a phenomenal actor, especially when he's feeling spiteful. Alright, he thought random bullshit GO! Before Batman could comment, our little menace gave Batman a scandalized look, "You're a meta?!"

"No." The bats scowled even harder than before "Your abilities may have manifested just now."

Oh ho ho, Danny wasn't going to let him get away that easy. "My parents would have killed me if I had the meta gene. I know. They checked." That one wasn't exactly a lie. His parents would have seen any superpowers as confirmation that he or Jazz were ghosts and then it was game over and they did check thier DNA for something a lot when they were younger...huh. Thoughts for later than.

"How do you know you haven't gotten mutated by any of the stuff you deal with? Besides if they were my powers then I wouldn't still be hanging upside down."

Bats grunted in acknowledgment and just stared at him for a few seconds, which was uncomfortable. Lucky for him one of the other bats landed near Batman on the rooftop and asked about the situation. Danny didn't hesitate, "Batmans a meta! I'm stuck!"

"I am not"

"Are too!" Danny quipped back. He sounded kinda childish but he didn't particularly care at the moment. More bats came after the second one spilled the beans on some 'com' thing. They mostly mocked Batman and asked if he was okay, which he was but he would like to be let down please.

Eventually someone called 'Red Hood' showed up and was really really mad that Batman had threatened a kid.

There were fireworks after that. The kind that belonged on a soap opera and Danny wished he had popcorn for it. Unfortunately he was stuck disrespecting physics for the time being.

Or was he? The big bad bats attention wasn't on him at the moment now would be a good time to ru-

Danny screamed, genuinely startled at the sudden free fall. He heard multiple people swear and grappling hooks fire. The next thing he knew he was shaking while holding onto someone for dear life. It had been almost a full year since the accident and yet he still lost control of his powers sometimes when distracted.

Luckily Red Hood is super cool.

----

Aka Danny gaslight Batman into thinking he has superpowers he can't control.

Red Hood is mad Bruce threatened a child.

Not a lot of people really utilize the fact that the gods of the ancient world were super messed up, did jacked up stuff to people for minor inconveniences, and legit did horrific things for the lols and billy being a child is probably just as likely to do weird things to people with his magic if he feels justified in their Billy head canons: let’s change that

Someone on Twitter @s the justice league official account in their rage tweet and Shazam/Marvel has volunteered to run the account for a few days while the league’s usual guy is out. It seems like a great idea at the time, he’s well known as super friendly guy and even though he’s pretty immature at times he always seems to be the best at deescalating hostile situations with the guidance of what he calls ‘the wisdom of Solomon’.

For a good while Marvel tried to reason with them, giving evidence to the contrary for every accusation, defending his fellow league members, and owning up to his own mistakes and promises that while the league does the best they can, they aren’t perfect. None of it is good enough for them though, they argue in circles for hours.

Finally he just says, “sir, your home will be a beacon for hoards of snakes, the harvest you wish to reap will be drowned by the rain you prayed for, your milk will curdle in your mouth, and your rage will only burn yourself with every poisoned word”

And not even an hour later that person tweets that a long term work project has just been ruined for this or that reason, their coffee is rancid because they didn’t check the date on the creamer when they bought it, posts photos of at least 12 snakes writhing in their bathtub, oh and they’ve been called out for being a jerk by everyone keeping up with the thread.

Marvel/Shazam is never allowed on the Justice League Twitter again.

After School Ghost Theory 101 with Professor Fenton

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[Image ID: A four page comic that starts with Danny Fenton standing in front of a whiteboard holding up a white cat. “Question: Do ghosts purr?” 

Tucker: “Danny when was the last time you slept?” Danny: “Irrelevant.” 

Danny info-dumps: “The answer is yes, but also no. Technically, all beings that possess a core are constantly "purring”, a.k.a. Core Vibrations. Core Vibrations are a nonverbal, emotion-based communication system between Ghosts, similar to how some living species use pheromones to communicate. The exact tone of each ghost is different the same way people’s voices are different. Humans can only hear these vibrations when the frequency passes through their audible range (20Hz - 20KHz), hence the ‘purring’ sound. When the range dips into infrasound (16 - 20Hz) it can cause feelings of fear and unease in humans that they often associate with ghosts and the supernatural. Also known as the ‘Heebie Jeebies.’”

Danny, wiping off the whiteboard: “Any questions before we move on?“

Danny’s audience consists of Wes Weston, Tucker Foley, Sam Manson, Danny’s clone Ellie, and Dash Baxter in a classroom. Wes is seated at a desk at the front taking notes. Tucker is sitting on Sam’s lap playing on a Switch, Ellie is sitting on a desk behind them. Dash is asleep at the back of the room.

Ellie, now holding the cat: “Is this Vlad’s first cat!?” Wes: "Could you tone down the floating eyes before the next part? They’re kinda distracting.” Danny: “What eyes?” Wes: “Please stop gaslighting me.”

A transparency trick on the last page reveals dark shadows and eyes all around Danny when viewed in dark mode. /.End ID]

An Extended Image ID is available under the read more because it’s over 1k. Side by side light and dark mode versions of the transparency trick is also available under the cut.

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