I'm Going Home To See My Family That I Haven't Seen In Months And Instead Of Spending Time With Me, They

Instead of making up shitty racist headcanons about Miles shoplifting join me in headcanoning him picking up ballet because he thought Gwen being a ballerina was super neat and it would help him in his spiderman job

the funniest part of my appendix removal experience was being wheeled down to the operating room and as we were going my nerves were everywhere so i half-jokingly asked the nurse taking me if she still had her appendix bc i felt not normal for getting mine out on top of having the jitters about being cut open so i was trying to fill the silence and she just.. looked mildly offended while being like “uhhhh. yeah. of course i do” like…. my bad i guess

Quackity: There’s a possibility you have two fathers *laughs* and there’s nothing bad with having two days, ok? One of them - one of them is a man called Luzu, and the other one is a man called Wilbur. How does that sound, son? Now we’re gonna have to choose and find out which one of them is gonna be your dad.

Tilin: *puts down a sign*

Quackity: Let’s see, what does it say? Move, move son I can’t read it.

Tilin’s sign: I’m la tres leches?

Quackity:

why is tumblr dead on sundays you cant possibly expect me to believe any of you go to church

always check yourself for unnecessary negativity and bitterness

I love making vaguely threatening eye contact with the lady with the screaming child and absolutely nothing happening

my thoughts about fruits basket: great show, wish it was a little more gay

it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me

That took way longer than it should have. #costumecrafts #embroidery

Not to slut shame but some of you could definitely be sluttier