House Vines

House Vines

Hufflepuff performing stand up comedy

Hufflepuff: So, I’ve got a drinking problem.

Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw: light chuckles

Hufflepuff: I’m not old enough to drink, that’s the problem.

Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw: all whooping and cheering

House Vines

Slytherin: *looking up* Yeah, so he broke up with me.

Ravenclaw: Why are you looking up?

Slytherin: I NeEd TO CrY, But mY FOunDaTIon coSTeD 48 DOLLARS!

House shenanigans

Gryffindor: *kicks the “G” off of the “Graveyard” sign* Yeah, Let’s get this party started!

Ravenclaw and Slytherin: Wow.

House Vines

Ravenclaw: Buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonald’s.

Gryffindor: We going to McDonald’s if I don’t do my work!?

Ravenclaw: No!

House Vines

Gryffindor: When you drink too much orange juice-

Slytherin: Hey I’m looking for Ravenclaw.

Gryffindor:...I don’t know who Ravenclaw is-

Ravenclaw: That’s me. Hey Slytherin!

Gryffindor:

Slytherin: Hey man, what’s up?

Ravenclaw: Just hanging out.

House Vines

Gryfindor: *checking under Hufflepuff’s bed* No monsters under your bed.

Hufflepuff: I know...They’re behind you now.

Gryfindor:

Hufflepuff:

Gryfindor: What?

What’s heavier?

Gryffindor: Got a question for you. What’s heavier? A kilogram of steel? Or a kilogram of feathers?

Time ticks

Gryffindor: That’s right. It’s a kilogram of steel. Because steel is heavier than feathers.

Gryffindor’s Show!

Gryffindor: What do you mean?

Slytherin: They’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor: But steel is heavier than feathers...

Slytherin: Heh. I know, but they’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor:...Wha?

Gryffindor’s Show!

A scale holding both a kilogram of feathers and steel stands before gryffindor. The scale is balanced.

Gryffindor: That doesn’t prove anything, because steel is heavier than feathers.

Hufflepuff: I know, but look. They’re both a kilogram. Right? So they’re the same.

Gryffindor: Ok, but look at the size of this. *points to the huge bag of feathers* That’s cheating!

Slytherin: *laughs* No, they’re the same weight!

Hufflepuff: *also laughing* it’s a kilogram!

Gryffindor: But steels heavier than feathers...

Gryffindor’s Show!

Ravenclaw examining the scale.

Ravenclaw: They’re both a kilogram.

Gryffindor: Oh no...oh, no, you, ah...no...

Hufflepuff: You alright?

Gryffindor: *sadly* I don’t get it.

Slytherin: Sorry...

Ravenclaw: Yeah...Don’t worry about it!

House Vines

Gryffindor: I’m not gonna convresate with you. I’m not gonna invest time-

Slytherin: *stirring tea* I think it’s converse.

Gryffindor: Huh?

Slytherin: Just say talk. *sips tea*

House Vines

Slytherin: I should’ve left you on that street corner where you were standing.

Gryfindor: *intense pause*

Gryfindor: But ch’ya didnt!

House Shenanigans

Gryffindor: Oh shut up, you know you love me.

Slytherin: