You Know I Had To Do It To Em

Just two divorced parents exchanging their kid on the weekend

HoH Steve needing to read people's lips to help him understand what they are saying but Eddie doesn't know this, he doesn't even know Steve is hard of hearing bcs no one has bothered to tell him. So Eddie thinks Steve is flirting like crazy. He thinks the reason Steve stares at his lips and leans closer to him when they are talking is because he's being a major flirt. "My eyes are up here, Steve." He says one day while he's leaning on the Family Video counter in front of Steve.

Steve just rolls his eyes. "If you want me to have no idea what you're saying then sure, I'll stare into your pretty eyes, Munson." He then proceeds to lean on the counter very closely to Eddie and stare into his eyes with a mischievous grin. "Wow, so pretty."

But poor Eddie is still trying to process what Steve said. Not know what he's saying? "Wait, what? Are you deaf, Steve?" And that's when Steve realises that no one told Eddie. He leans back from the desk in shock. He could have sworn he told him.

"Oh my God, Eddie. Yeah, I'm deaf in my left ear, hard of hearing in my right. I can hear a little of what you're saying if I stand close to you but I mainly read lips. Dustin's trying to teach me sign language as well but that's, uh, taking a while. I swear I told you." But the look of complete surprise on Eddie's face tells Steve that this is very new information to him. "I'm sorry! Sometimes I forget it's not common knowledge."

Eddie runs a hand through his hair and laughs. "Dude, It's okay. I get it." He gives Steve a soft smile but then his face falls. "Oh god, I thought you were flirting with me this whole time with the whole lip reading thing. I'm sorry if i was being weird." He looks so flustered it makes Steve want to jump the counter, grab him by the shirt and kiss him silly.

Instead, Steve gives Eddie a small shrug, "Don't worry, i was flirting with you." And then he leaves him standing there dumbfounded while he serves a customer.

Steddie au where Eddie's band hits it big and while he establishes that he is very private with his life but every now and then he slips some info about his long term partner. Like how wonderful and great but kinda dumb they are and then occasionally drop bombs like said partner owning a nail covered bat or beating up murderous shitheads in their Youth tm or how they were somehow involved in taking down a secret Russian base?? (Details very unclear) or how they protected a bunch of kids from...something? so most everyone who doesn't know him personally thinks Eddie's girlfriend (they assume tho he is very careful to never mention gender) is also in the metal scene and fucking hardcore as hell. Nice.

And then he comes out and is like this is my partner Steve :) and it's the most generic suburb dad photo of Steve imaginable with loafers and 90's dad patterned sweater and his hair all nice and he looks like the most Just Some Guy ever with no nail covered bat or chains in sight. And people are like him??? HE has a bat studded with rusty nails in his closet? He's the one that almost got rabies biting a bat that was attacking him? This guy? The cognitive dissonance almost over powers the homophobia tbh

you’re my frankenstein, and i’m your monster!!

(everyone go watch dead end paranormal park right now bc i have a mighty need for a second season thank you)

(also my commissions are open!)

—

[ID: a drawing of norma from dead end paranormal park. she is singing aggressively into a microphone. her eyes are scrunched close, and she is holding out her hands to her side. behind her is a cracked mirror. the reflection in the mirror shows pauline in the same poses as norma. she is smiling as she sings into her microphone. there are clouds of smoke around norma’s feet. the background is green. End ID.]

oh how I love this ship 🤧☀️🌈

so like. gabriel has the pig now huh

spiritual successor comic to this

bonus:

MariBug/Ladynette

In which Chat Noir and Ladybug get into an argument… and some false conclusions are drawn.

     • Ladybug is trying to convince Chat Noir to go see Marinette Dupain-Cheng by himself, for whatever reason, and he gets peeved because she seems to always be avoiding Marinette. Ladybug lies and says the reason is because she and Marinette… don’t really get along.

     • Which, to Chat, makes no fucking sense. He’s literally daydreamed about how well the two of them would get along if they ever met each other, so for Ladybug to outright say she doesn’t like Marinette Dupain-Cheng is the most baffling thing ever. 

     • “How could you not like Marinette??? Are you crazy? She’s literally the nicest person ever, she’s popular with everyone, she’s always willing to lend a helping hand— Which, by the way, you know that because she literally volunteered herself to help capture a fucking AKUMA—”

     • “Oh my god Chat, I just don’t like her, let it GO.”

     • He doesn’t let it go. In fact, he’s weirdly peeved and moody about it, despite apparently only having met Marinette a handful of times. The next three akuma battles are tense and filled with whiny comments and Ladybug is quickly getting sick of Chat’s bullshit. They start arguing about it again in the middle of the next akuma battle.

     • “I don’t have to like everybody, Chat! It’s none of your business who I do and don’t like! Why are you acting like such a child over this?!”

     • “I’m a child?! I’m not the one who can’t even face her! I seriously don’t get you, you and Marinette like the same things and have similar personalities, I just don’t understand how you could hate her enough that you can’t even bother to properly protect her! Is that why you just left me by myself during the Evillustrator incident?”

     • “I don’t hate her, I just— Look, my reasons for not wanting to face her are my own, dammit Chat, just drop it!”

     • He refuses to drop it the entire fight, which is annoying not only because they’re busy fighting, but because Alya’s on the sidelines taking a live video of the whole thing, so at this point everyone can kind of garner what it is they’re talking about. When they purify the akuma, instead of bumping their fists, Chat crosses his arms and pouts like a petulant kid. 

     • “If you don’t hate Marinette, then why do you have such a difficult time being anywhere near her? And now that I think about it, you totally clam up whenever she’s mentioned, except that one time when you sent me a picture of her and asked me if—” 

     • He stops, and his eyes go wide. Ladybug can practically see the wrong idea popping up in his head, and she holds back a frustrated groan. Or a laugh. She can’t tell which, she’s, like, too stressed and exhausted to tell.

     • “Oh my god, you asked me if I thought Marinette was cute.”

     • Alya’s creeping closer now, while the two are distracted, getting better audio on their conversation, and zooming in on the looks on their faces.

     • “My lady… Do you have a crush on Marinette Dupain-Cheng?”

     • It’s laughter. She’s holding back laughter. Oh, the irony. She has to take a moment to mentally pull herself together, but Chat takes her silence and her carefully neutral expression as a sign of confirmation.

     • “You DO!!!”

     • Alya’s gaping behind her phone screen as Chat Noir starts raving about how much sense that makes, pointing out literally all the indications that pointed towards Ladybug having a crush on her best friend. She belatedly realises that she just broadcasted Ladybug’s crush on her best friend to the entirety of Paris. INCLUDING HAWKMOTH.

     • Ladybug’s earrings beep, and she just zips away without saying anything. Alya finally comes to her senses to shut off the video, at the last second catching Chat’s expression as he turns towards her and realises oh shit he fucked up—

     • The video goes viral in seconds, and Alya isn’t fast enough to delete it before it’s already being posted on multiple other websites, and even being broadcasted on news stations. The word is out— The Girl Who Holds The Key To Ladybug’s Heart: Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

     • It’s a disaster. There’s literally no coming out of this. Even if she were to deny it now, there’s, like, no way anyone would genuinely believe her. Paris is convinced that Ladybug has a huge lesbian crush on a sweet little bakery girl, and… they’re loving it. 

     • A surprising amount of people dropped Ladynoir like a hot potato and hopped onto the Maribug/Ladynette bandwagon overnight. There’s fan art. Marinette loves herself, sure, but not this much. 

     • She angrily calls Chat that night and tells him to meet her at the Eiffel Tower. Immediately. 

     • She doesn’t even get to tell him off before he’s apologising.

     • “I’m so sorry, My Lady, I didn’t see the Ladyblogger there and it was so stupid of me to think that fighting about something like that in public was a good idea, if it’s— If it’s any consolation, I totally understand why you’d have a crush on Marinette. It’s, like, nothing to be embarrassed about. Pretty much everyone has a bit of a crush on Marinette it’s not that surprising, honestly I couldn’t think of a better girl for you—”

     • He’s making it really difficult for her to be angry at him. 

     • “I’m not angry at you for outing my crush, Chat. I’m angry at you because I don’t have a crush on Marinette Dupain-Cheng, and now the entirety of Paris thinks I do.”

     • He looks like he doesn’t believe a single word she says. Which is fair, because she’s pretty sure she wouldn’t believe herself either if the positions were reversed.

     • Their talk really doesn’t go anywhere. At the end of the day, Chat still thinks Ladybug has a crush on Marinette, and Ladybug can’t convince anyone that she doesn’t. The only thing the talk serves to do is tell her that Chat pretty much thinks the world of her as Marinette and somehow can’t find it in himself to be angry at her for supposedly stealing his Lady’s heart. Which is… wow.

     • Marinette is pretty much bombarded both at home and at school, both by her peers and reporters alike. Her classmates, for the most part, are the least most infuriating out of the bunch— a lot of them apparently just pity Ladybug for choosing a girl who’s already got the hots for some other major celebrity. 

     • Things get… worse.

     • Adrien seems weirdly supportive about the whole thing and is somewhat pressuring her into having a go with Ladybug, which… actually sort of pisses her off. Like, a lot. He didn’t even stop to ask if she’d genuinely be interested in dating Ladybug, or if she’s even into girls at all. (She does like girls, but he certainly didn’t know that.)

     • Alya, who is aware that Marinette also like girls, keeps giving her glances even though she’s trying really freaking hard not to tell her to go for it. At the very least, she’s trying. It’s sort of the least she could do after accidentally broadcasting that whole conversation. Plus, she’s still team Adrienette all the way, so…. She’s gonna have to force her idol to deal with it. She’s not gonna scheme in Ladybug’s favour. 

     • Akumas start going after her at first, but they quickly realise that whenever they do that, Ladybug doesn’t come around. They come to the conclusion that Ladybug gets massively shy around her crush, and can’t even work up the guts to fight the damn akuma if Marinette is around. (WHICH IS SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS, MARINETTE CAN’T HANDLE THE IDIOCY OF ALL THIS!!!)

     • The hype doesn’t necessarily calm down, although at some point photographers and reporters realise that they won’t be getting anything no matter how long they loiter around the front of the bakery. (Marinette had to take extra care in not transforming into Ladybug in her house, instead sneaking out if there’s an akuma.)

     • When it seems like all the reporters and photographers are gone, Chat makes a personal visit to her civilian self to apologise. Which was a mistake. A massive mistake. 

     • Marichat is trending by tomorrow morning. There’s a picture going around of Chat Noir supposedly “getting friendly” with the bakery girl, leaning against the railing of her balcony and eating a jelly cookie. How is this her life?

     • She’s done. There’s no fixing this. This is the end. She’s fucking done. Might as well let this happen. Let it run its course. Oh well. 

why do all the words sound heavier in my native language? scratch that. why did I choose to seek refuge in a language of another instead of training my tongue to bear the heaviness of my own?

Eddie wake up, I don't like this, Eddie wake up