Jschlatt Smut - Blog Posts

guys… wtf did i just make

scratt

hay guys! sorry i’ve been SUPER inactive, my mental health has been in the dumps and i started therapy again so my priorities have been elsewhere lately. BUT! im gonna start going through my ask box soon and try my best to start getting things out. love yall!

THIS BUT SCHLATT

🫠🥵🥹☠️😈

omg this has been sitting in my inbox for so fucking long i’m so sorry i don’t deserve yall! but anywho

i feel like this would have to be him after getting home from like recording a chuckle sandwich episode at ted’s or something. like he’s been gone for more than an hour so OF COURSE he misses you so much and being in you.

and as soon as he gets home he runs to the bedroom and like swan dives into the bed- and you end up sitting there like that for an hour silently enjoying each other company while you scroll on your phone <3

until he inevitably gets too horny and bored and rails the shit out of you

OKAY i was scrolling through some old posts of mine, and i saw the one where anon requested i continue midnight babysitting AND i think im gonna. (ps if you have any last minute requests PLEASE tell me and i’ll try to work them in <3)

also tagging other kai bcuz i thought they’d be excited <3 @bvnnyblood

Working on requests today! (or at least trying to…)

Is there gonna be anymore Midnight Babysitting with Jschlatt? 🥺👉🏻👈🏻. Been thinking about it real bad lately

Sadly, no i don’t think so. i’m not sure where i would continue the series and where it would go from there. if people wanna give recommendations and ideas for the plot they want, i’ll totally reconsider picking it back up. until then, Midnight Babysitting will stay a two-part series

100 posts!

Goddamn already? Weow

Thinking aboutbworking on a request soon... I got sick the day after I got home from Alaska and have been sick since 😭

I missed the exact mark, but it doesn't matter. We hit 200 followers! I love you guys and I am very glad you enjoy my work as much as you do.

i keep re-reading “midnight babysitting” and it just gets better 👏EVERY👏SINGLE👏TIME👏

Just doing my job ;)

I am so sorry about that long hiatus, I was in Alaska all week and didn't have any internet. But I'm back and ready to answer asks!

Midnight Babysitting Part 2

Part 1

Summary: You drive over in the middle of the night to help Schlatt with his daughter, Lily, and things quickly turn....for the better?

Warnings: Cursing, Smut, implied divorce, my old ass talking about 90s cartoons, schlatt hating his ex wife (calls her a bitch), rough sex, Dom/sub dynamics, Shitty foreplay?, Pet names (Sir, Bunny)

You pulled in to the familiar driveway after what felt like barely a second, you must have zoned out. You sigh as you close the car door and walk up to his house. You rap quietly on the door, on the off chance that Lily had actually gone to sleep.

"Hey, thanks for coming so late. Uh, Lily's in the living room." He opened the door in just a pair of sweatpants, looking exhausted. You turned the corner into the living room and there she was, watching late night cartoons, happy as a clam. You strode over and her face immediately lit up.

"Y/N! Watch Rocko wi me!" She said, tugging on your arm gently. You sigh, she really wasn't going to be easy tonight.

"Lily, you've got to go to sleep. You have school in the morning." You felt your heart sink as she stuck out her bottom lip in the most adorable pout you've ever seen.

"But, I o wanna..." She sniffled, trying to guilt trip you. You smiled as you sat down next to her.

"How about this, if I spend the night and promise to be here and make you breakfast when you wake up, will you go to bed?" A sense of relief washed over you as she smiled and nodded happily.

"Read to me first! Pwease?" She wasn't the best with L's. You nod and flash a small smile at Schlatt as she tugs you upstairs and into her room. You grab an edition of Cinderella and she hopped in bed almost immediately.

Almost 25 minutes and three story books later, she was finally asleep. You closed the last book and put it back on the shelf, placing a small kiss on her forehead and brushing the blonde hair off her head before closing the door. You almost jumped out of your skin when you turned around to see Schlatt right behind you. He wrapped you into a warm hug, which you quickly reciprocated after you got over the initial shock.

"Thank you... You have no idea how long I've been trying to put her to sleep." He sighed happily into your ear, causing butterflies to make a home in your stomach. He smelled amazing, a mix of the fresh scent of rain and some expensive, intoxicating cologne.

"No uh... no problem. I knew what I was getting into when I signed up for this." You smiled warmly at him. He walked downstairs and towards his office, motioning for you to follow.

"I know, I just.... I wish I could show you how thankful I am." He spoke in an almost accidentally seductive way. You felt your breath hitch as his lips ghosted over your jugular.

"What- what about your wife?" You whimpered pathetically in an attempt to ground yourself.

"Please, Julie's been out of the picture since Lily was born. That bitch... It's just you and me~" His lips trailed gentle kisses down your jaw and up to yours.

"It's so cute how much Lily loves you..." His lips were barely inches from yours as he spoke. Fuck it. You slammed your lips against his and he grunted in surprise. You were quick to tangle your fingers into his hair, tugging and earning a moan into your mouth. You would have to use that later.

He pushed you on top of his desk and shoved his hard cock up against your groin. He groaned out and started grinding against you. The way his hips moved with precision, you wondered why his wife would leave in the first place.

"Please!"

"Please what, bunny?" He leaned down to your ear, "You're gonna have to speak up~" he whispered beautifully.

"Fuck me, please?" You glanced up at him with puppy dog eyes that you knew he just couldn't ignore. He groaned and nodded, pulling down his and your trousers and knickers with succession.

"You feel how hard I am? Hmm? Up against that pretty hole of yours..." He looked up at you as he slowly pushed in, stretching you deliciously. You both groaned in unison as he bottomed out, tip already brushing up against that spot.

"Fuck, Sir!" You yelled out before Schlatt could clap his hand over your mouth, but he quickly shushed you as he started thrusting.

"Lily's asleep upstairs, bunny. You've gotta be quiet for me." You whined against his hand in response, looking up at him, "I know it feels good, I know, but we can't wake her up." He continued his harsh pace, opening your top with his free hand and rubbing your nipples, earning a shuddering moan against his palm.

His brows furrowed and he groaned and grunted perfectly with each timed thrust. You pulled his hand off for a second to squeak out one word, not trusting your voice to speak normally.

"Close!" You moved his and your hand back over your mouth, quickly covering up the moan that slipped out as you clenched around him.

"Fuck yeah, I'm close too bunny, go ahead and cum on my cock." He kissed your swollen lips, covering up your shared moans. He groaned into your mouth as your walls fluttered around him once more, cumming with you. He pulled out once he was done and looked at you, smiling happily.

He placed a kiss on your forehead and held you tight, carrying you up to his room, letting you get some well deserved rest.

@bvnnyblood

Tis in the making. Mwahahahaha >:)

@bvnnyblood

Where.

Where did you get the image.

Of Schlatt with his hand in his trousers.

What stream. What video. What timestamp.

Please and thank you.

-☾🔆

I'm going to be honest with you, I don't remember. I was going through my gallery and found it. (Probs Pinterest or smth tho :/)

Edit: a lovely human sent me the link for it so here it is: https://youtu.be/XxNsi0UVbCg

Look at around 2:10 ;)

okay but like hear me out-

dilf!schlatt.

Kai, i love you so much, you make my day so much better <3 but yes, ABSOLUTELY! (Quick after thought, I got kinda carried away so this went from an ask answer to a "I will be writing a multi-chapter fic of this v soon")

The Best Neighbor

I always imagine dilf!schlatt with a daughter so I can imagine that when you first move into the neighborhood and this sexy single father sees you, he is IMMEDIATELY asking his daughter to help him make cupcakes-

And he walks up with that fucking black button up on, feeling like a million bucks until he rings your doorbell. And he gets all flustered but he hides it well, and him and his daughter welcome you with the cupcakes. You find yourself slowly but surely getting closer to this man.

And as time goes by, you go from acquaintances to friends. And friends to besties. And besties to him fucking you over his desk while his daughter's at her friends house.

i have some king!schlatt brainrot rn and i’m just thinking of being his queen and him spoiling me with the best that riches can buy and every little thing he does is out of pure adoration and love and cockwarming at council meetings and jousting matches 😇

OHOHOHOHO YESSSS. Don't mind the fact that I'm writing this on my walk home from the bus, BUT

The way he would sit you on his cock as he signs documents and sings softly to you and the slight whispers of how good you're being when he finishes the song before moving to the next. I love this man with all my heart- HWJDBDJS

The best answer ever

Haha, ignore the fact that I'm hiding in the bathroom from my prof, but hear me out. The way Schlatt would be so soft and hide all his kinks the first time you two have sex and then you bring up how nice his hands look and he's like "...😐...😏"

And the way he would choke you is just- jdjebfkdndhfksbd

i’d hide from my professor too i can’t blame you 😭

as soon as you’d say that he’d ask to “c’mere” and when you turn to face him his hand wraps around your throat and just starts full on making out with you and jsnssssisuebwbeegdusksjehrydjhhsdh

hear me out tho: making out with drunk!schlatt as he’s just grabbing onto your hips with such brute force that his fingernails leave marks. you can still taste the alcohol in his breath and you can feel him slowly starting to grind into you as you pull on his hair and nnhshhsusbskaiysgwbsixg

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! The way this had me low-key blushing and giggling. Like- Hear me out,

The moans that he would normally keep as quiet as possible would just absolutely POUR out of those pretty fucking lips of his. Like, the way his entire face would flush at that first tug, like- SOQSJUQSJUS

This FUCKING picture of schlatt made me WEAK IM DROPPING OUT. I GOTTA GO I GOTTA GO I GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SCREAMING WITHOUT THE S ON GOD!

Edit: https://youtu.be/XxNsi0UVbCg (2:10 ;))

This is huge for me

Honestly not surprised in the slightest

(Schlatts bdsm quiz results from sdp Patreon)

no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponential, logarithmic, while I gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, backwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most toe curling, back arching, leg shaking, dick throbbing, fist clenching, ear ringing, mouth drooling, ass clenching, nose sniffling, eye watering, eye rolling, hip thrusting, earthquaking, sheet gripping, knuckles cracking, jaw dropping, hair pulling, teeth jitterbug, mind blogging, soul snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy,moan inducing, heart wrenching, spine tingling, back breaking, atrocious,gushy, creamy, beastly, lip biting, gravity defying, nail biting, sweaty, feet kicking, mind blowing, body shivering, orgasmic, bone breaking, world ending, black hole creating, universe destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body numbing, bark worthy, can't walk, head nodding, soul evaporating, volcano erupting, sweat rolling, voice cracking, trembling, sheets soaked, hair drenched, flabbergasting, lip locking, skin peeling, eyelash removing, eye widening, pussy popping, nail scratching, back cuts, spectacular, brain cell desolving, hair ripping, show stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, slendid, phenomenal, mouth foaming, heavenly, awakening, devils tango ever bro could cause a nuclear bomb inside me and I'd still ride.

Hiiii

I'm Mel, I use he/they pronouns (ftm pride), I'm 19 (I'm an aries >:]) and I'm also Polish! (I want to move away so bad istg).

My current obsessions are Schlatt, Charlie Slimecicle, Ted Nivison, Wendigoon (respectfully), Stardew Valley (HARVEY MY BELOVED), Persona 3, GRAVITY FALLS and more!

DNI:

MINORS!!!!

WSS and SSS

Dream stans 🤡

basic dni

I WON'T write:

any bodily fluids (scat, piss, vomit, etc)

rape

incest

cnc

ageplay

weird age gaps

anything nsfw with minors

I will write for:

Schlatt (my beloved)

Ted Nivison

Our favourite gunker Charlie Slimecicle

more to be added ig

Masterlist:

Do I Wanna Know? (Schlatt x ftm!reader, angst, confessions, song fic, hurt/comfort)