Dive into a world of creativity!
I think it’s very important to emphasise that there can be so many versions of you existing within the same existential reality, side by side. You don’t have to abandon your core to succumb to any socially engineered version of you that only brings about peace in the latter and not within you :( it’s okau to admit that different people placed contextually in different settings will inevitably bring out different sides of you! That doesn’t necessarily imply that you’re forgetting your ground :) to each their own. It’ll always be upto you to show any or every side of you to a person <3
to all the true crime fans out there: pls pls pls, take care of yourself and your mental capacity to handle the horrible things about the world! as someone who enjoys true crime, sometimes i feel like i consume too much of it and it effects my mindset and moods. i've noticed i get bitter and often think about gorey things, remembering strangely specific details of a horrific case. it gets so difficult to be happy when there is a voice in the back of your mind going, "remember that case you heard about yesterday? the one where the girl was tortured for 40 days?"
sometimes, its okay - and important - to take breaks from consuming true crime things. take some time for yourself, tune out the horrible stuff, play music, dance, hang out with friends, whatever you want!
this is not to say you should not listen to true crime podcasts or watch true crime videos or read true crime books. it is simply a reminder that though there are bad things happening in the world, and bad people roam the streets, there are plenty of other things to be happy about!
a puppy taking its first step, a couple getting engaged, a brother reuniting with his sister, someone getting their drivers license, someone getting their first ever binder, a girl being able to see her worth, someone finally asking out their crush, a man walking out of an abusive relationship, two best friends meeting up after ten years, someone rescuing a cat from a busy road.... and much more!!!
we know first and foremost that humanity can be evil and not deserving of life ... but i hope that we remember that, sometimes, humanity can be beautiful and cherishable.
Hate to say this but i don't really think some people can just live their life without poking into other's business and causing unnecessary turmoil so, here's a guide to avoid all types of unnecessary drama in your life.
A full communication circle.
Communication is the main cause for most fights so, here's the thing. When there is something that needs to be done, inform all necessary people about it in advance. Here's a mistake most do, they just tell one person and ask them to put forward the message to the others but tell them directly. Literally, it is the safest option for you, like no one can blame you that you didn't tell them. No one can hold it against you. So tell them directly. And from time to time get repeated reminders so they remember.
Don't involve yourself in unnecessary talks
This is serious. If you are sitting and your friends are complaining about someone, you just listen to them. Don't add on to the things and hype up them. If you know that person isn't like that, defend them subtly. Involving in gossip is the worst. When someone says something about another person or even you then just reply with "I don't really care, they are/ I am free to do whatever they/I want." Or "I don't have the energy for this." Or "It's really none of my business/concern".
If you demand respect, you need to give respect.
Be nice to everyone, I am serious about this. Even if you're not friendly with the person or you don't like them, just be nice. It won't hurt you or them. Even if they do something to hurt you, just let it go with a "Meh it's fine but i would appreciate it if you won't do it again". This may even work people up a bit, handle yourself with care. Make it seem that their presence doesn't actually threaten you.
Calm composure.
Keep yourself calm and composed whenever you're faced with a difficult situation, do not react immediately, take a breath. I usually just frown but more than that, I won't react to anything. It takes some practice but eventually, this is useful. The reason for you to maintain a calm composure is because if the person who hurt you is looking for a dramatic reaction, don't give them the satisfaction.
Better articulation
Especially if it's important instructions! When someone accuses you of something, don't immediately raise your voice, think for a moment, let them wait and then reply with what had actually happened in your point of view.
Apologize. Even if it isn't your fault.
Sometimes, people are just shitty and they won't understand even if you explain it a hundred or a million times. In those case, just say the magic two letter word -> "I'm sorry" or "I apologise". Your worth doesn't come down just because you apologised, on the other hand, you just became a better person than the other one.
It's simply not your damn business.
When someone directly tells you about their life etc etc. You lend a compassionate ear to them. If it's a story going around the whole place, it's simply not your business. And you can say this directly to the person passing the gossip, if they argue then that means you now actualy are aware of another gossip machine.
Don't EVER share your opinions on important matters with a person higher than you! Especially not in front of other people!
I'm damn serious, you don't know who will have it against you so, be careful around who you're saying things to. Other important matters include opinions about the specific person, politics, nationality, culture etc etc. Be sensitive.
Break the chain
When you hear something bad is going around and it reaches you, keep it to your damn self. Don't go adding the fuel to the fire like the rest!
Do not assume!
Don't assume about a situation or a person. Clarify. Always clarify. You may not know what the other person was going through, you don't know everything. Just don't think something, clarify it. No body is going to get mad at you for clarifying.
Make excuses.
When you hear someone talking bad about someone else. Defend them. Make excuses. I don't mean lie to them, I mean saying things like, "It's alright. You don't know what they were going through." Or "Maybe something happened that you don't know about." Personally, I always use the second one because I feel like, sometimes, people aren't bad guys. Situations make them act like that. Povs differ. So be mindful.
Don't raise your voice. Improve your argument.
If there is an argument. Do the classic Harvey Specter thing. You improve arguments with a neutral tone. Don't sound mocking or cocky, sound like you're just explaining to them. This won't escalate the scenario. (The quote was actually given by Desmond Tutu)
Hope this helps! :)