Latest Posts by georgecauldron800 - Page 6

brb trying this

Jesus scott

From the earth.

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Jaune is Harem Caesar

*Senate floor before meeting*

Cardin: What does he want now?

Ren: It appears he'll ask for another set of emergency powers as well as approval of Senate to add ten more wives to his harem.

Cardin: Again? Again?!

Ironwood: As far as I see this, he is consolidating the power before proclaiming himself dictator.

Adam: Look who's talking.

Ren: Let's not assume things Senator Ironwood. Besides I'll hand him a petition to sign today. I assure you our Divine Leader will approve of it.

Adam: Divine Leader? When did he add that crap?

Ren: Last week while you were absent. You should really stop stalking Blake. According to the new law you could get arrested for disturbing Divine Leader's wife.

Sun: Dude definitely, his goons beat me up yesterday for just looking at Blake.

Neptune: No dude, they beat you up because you were piss drunk and refused to show driver's license. Then you asked officer to check your pants for hidden bananas.

Sun: Potato-potato.

Adam: Typical bootlicker...

Cardin: Don't you think Jauney Boy has to...

Ren: Divine Leader Jaune.

Cardin: Sigh... Don't you think Divine Leader Jaune has took things bit too far?

Ren: He did help to save the world, he is owed at least some gratitude.

Sun: Well I helped as well and all I got was this lousy toga.

Adam: I think we might need a revolution.

Oscar: Shhhh, here he comes.

*Jaune enters the Senate*

Divine Leader Jaune: Gentlemen... Cardin. I've come to ask for more emergency powers.

Adam: Again? What happened to last ten emergency powers?

Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Those were hardly enough. Do you expect me to run this country with just that?

Adam: Wait a minute...

Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: What's the matter Senator Taurus?

Adam: You title just increased!

Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: I fail to see your point.

Ironwood: At this point he'll add every possible title except Dictator.

Savior of Remnant, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: I'll consider those emergency powers added since I didn't see any complaints. Moving on. I wish to add ten more wives to my modest Harem of 1566.

Cardin: Ten more wives? This is outrageous! How is any of us suppose to get a wife?

Qrow: As if that was stopping you.

*laughter in Senate room*

Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Since Cardin has been sufficiently owned, this also passes. Moving on. I demand funding for time travel and alternate universe travel projects.

Ironwood: That sounds incredibly costly. For what purpose may I ask?

Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: You see, I wish to add younger version of Maria Calavera to my Harem. As for the alternate universe travel, I wish to add female versions of some of you to my Harem. I suspect female Adam and Oscar might be to my liking.

Adam: Yeah, I'm fucking killing him.

Oscar: Shhhh, Ren is handing him the petition.

Ren: Divine Leader Jaune!

Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Please Ren, use the full title.

Ren: *breathes in* Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune, I'd like you to sign this petition. It's to limit some of your powers and redistribute some of your wives to your loyal subjects.

Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Frankly, this is absurd.

Ren: What?

Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Ren you can't expect me to sign off some of my wives, they all have a valuable purpose. Nora for example is an excellent titty cup holder. You expect me to make such a sacrifice?

Ren: You use Nora as a titty cup holder?!

About to be Stabbed, Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Only on Tuesdays. Wait... what was that new title?

Ren: You know what, stab him! *pulls out a knife and stabs Jaune*

Stabbed Jaune: Ugh... my titles faded away. Someone help me!

Qrow: Gotcha kid! *slips and accidentally stabs Jaune* Ufff, my Semblance and alcohol are not a good combination.

Adam: Long live the Revolution! *stabs Jaune*

Sun: Nothing personal Dude. *stabs Jaune*

Tai: There can only be one blonde with multiple partners. *stabs Jaune* Also, I saw you post those pictures of Yang and Ruby *stabs Jaune again*

Cardin: I've been waiting for this! *misses Jaune* Aw come on!

Tyrian: I'm not even member of this Senate, but I've heard we are stabbing someone. *stabs Jaune multiple times*

*Jaune backs away*

Stabbed, Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: You snivelling cowards! How dare you stab me! And get that stupid thing out of my title!

Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: I'm a Harem King! You can't defeat me! Do you know how many Harem fics do all of you have? ZERO! Now face me if you dare!

*Oscar sneaks up behind Jaune and stabs him*

Stabbed Jaune: Ugh, even you Oscar? Is this because of Ruby?

Oscar: Kind of. I mean I was pretty mad when you took Ruby as one of your wives. But then you also took my aunt... and demanded I start calling you Daddy Arc. But that part about you taking my alternate self as your wife kind of creeped me out the most.

Stabbed Jaune: Fair enough. *dies*

Adam: Gentlemen... H*mans... Revolution has prevailed!

*everyone cheers*

Ren: Now all we need to do is elect a democratic leader. No more Divine Leaders.

Adam: In that case, I elect myself as a new leader and as a first edict I take Blake as my wife!

Ironwood: No, I shall be the new leader! I'm the one with most experience taking over things.

Cardin: Oh no boys, this is a start of Cardin era.

Sun: Dude fuck off, nobody even likes you.

*Yang closes the book*

Blake: So what do you think?

Yang: Was that previous description of VB "plundering my holes" really necessary?

Blake: It adds to the immersion, brutality of the setting.

Yang: Blake, sweetie, for the love of Gods, could you stop writing stories like this?

NYX #2 (2024)

written by Jackson Lanzing & Collin Kelly art by Francesco Mortarino & Raul Angulo

Wolwerine Pyrrha commission for @darksaiyangoku!!

Since your doing the DP and Wolverine prompts does this mean that Nora’s used Jaunes dead body as a weapon or just his sword?

Deadpool used Logan's bones because they are metal, so in this case I chose a third option that I came up with. --------------

Nora arrives at a forest where a cross marks the site of a grave.

Nora: (Narrating) For a long time, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be back. VIZ Media bought RWBY, there was a whole boring rights issue, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then, it turned out that they wanted me! the one girl who shouldn’t even have her own show! That was all so stupid. Look, we know the title of this thing, so I know what you’re wondering. How are we going to do this without dishonoring Jaune's memory? And I’ll tell you how. We’re not.

Nora then starts digging

Nora: (Narrating) I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Jaune is not dead. Sure, it made for a perfect ending to a very sad story, but that’s not how his Aura boosting thing works. You think I want to be out here in beautiful downtown North of Vale, digging up the one and only Rusted Knight? No, thank you. But the fate of my entire world is at stake. He may not be living his best life, but he sure as hell ain’t dead.

Nora finally reaches the bottom and finds the coffin.

Nora: Bingo... Yahtzee...

She then begins to tear apart the coffin.

*Smack! Tap! Scratch! Bang!*

Nora: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

*Crack!*

She makes a hole in the coffin and then…

Nora: Damn it!

She didn't like what she found.

Nora: Son of a bitch! *Hits the cross* Fuck! Motherfucker! My world is fucked!

Moments later....

Nora leaning against a fallen tree

Nora: *Talking to his right while the camera is only focus on her* That was weird. I’m much calmer now. Look, I’m not a woman of science, but you seem incredibly passed away.

The camera zooms out to show a very dead and skeleton-like Jaune, but still wearing his armor.

Nora: But it’s good to see ya. I gotta be honest, I’ve always wanted to ride with you, Jaune. You and me, getting into a Ladypool and Rusted Knight. Just fucking shit up. Can you imagine the fun,... the chaos,... the residuals?

She then starts playing with Jaune's helmet.

Nora: (Mimicking Jaune's voice) That's right Nora. There’s nothing that’ll bring me back to life faster than a big bag of RWBY cash.

Nora: Me too, Jaune. *Gets upset* No, no, no, no. Ugh, he had to get all noble and die for real. God damn it! *Looks back at Jaune* I could really use your help right now.

Suddenly, a group of futuristic soldiers appear out of nowhere. Nora sees them and hides along with Jaune's corpse.

Nora: Wait! I’m warning you! I’m not alone!

Soldier: Nora Valkyrie! You’re under arrest by the Time Variance Authority. Too many crimes with this, come out!

Nora: I hate this guys.

Soldier: Last chance! Throw out your weapons and come out peacefully!

Nora: I’m not gonna give you my weapons! But I promise not to use them. *Looks at you the reader* Did you know that Jaune's armor is made by a lot of pieces together? Here we go, maximum effort.

Nora jumps out of her hiding spot, and uses Jaune's corpse as cover. The soldiers are confused.

Bye Bye Bye by NSYNC It starts to play.

Nora: *Looks at Jaune* Okay, Jaune. I guess we’re getting that team up after all.

Nora grabs a piece of Jaune's armor and throws it at one of the soldiers, killing him instantly. The other companions of the deceased are stunned, but seconds later they run towards them as more soldiers appear.

Nora takes two pieces of armor from Jaune's shoulders and uses them to stab two of the soldiers. One in the back, and the other one she slashes and then stabs him in the head. Following with a kick that makes the piece come out the other side of the guy.

She then uses her leg armor and begins to swing around, hitting the soldiers in the face. She knocks one to the right, another to the ground, and one to the left. She then takes her phone and takes a photo of herself kissing one of the deceased on the helmet.

She then takes both of Jaune's arm armors, bones and all, and begins to slap each and every one of them like it's a game. With what remains of the armor already shattered, she kills the remaining ones. I use Jaune's fingers to stab one of them. Jaune's head to hit another one in the genitals. What's left of the legs to stab quite hard right into the chest of another soldier who was running.

Nora: What is this?

Nora notices a part of the armor that looks like a sword handle and pulls it out. And just at that moment a blue sword blade appears as if it were a lightsaber.

Nora: *GASP!!!!* IT'S THE SWORD OF DESTRUCTION!!!

Nora: I am soaking wet right now.

Nora: (Narrating) To be clear, I’m not proud of any of this. The wanton violence, the whiff of necrophilia, it isn’t who I am, it isn’t who I wanna be. Who I wanna be? Well, to help you understand that, I gotta take you back. My little joy ride I took through space and time, to the day that changed everything.

Nora: (Narrating) But that will be for another day, because the idiot who wrote all this is a little tired.

Boss

[All comics in order here]

James earl jones has passed away at 93

DC, make Scream Queen a character in comics

Whitley's ARC Problem

Whitley: No, no, architect Faunus! It's all wrong!

Whitley: The muscles on the Jaune statue biceps need to be at least three times as big! Really capture his superiority!

Worker: Sir, my name is Ted, and I honestly can't make these muscles any bigger without compromising the infrastructure of New Mantle.

Whitley: Yes, yes, Moseby, I understand that, but if it's a choice between the children having a roof over their heads or my best friend in the entire world's statue being 100% accurate, well then sacrifices must be made!

Worker: Cool. Awesome. I guess my little girl is sleeping in the cold, then.

Whitley: Excellent!

Ruby: Whitley, um, honey? Can we talk?

Whitley: Ah! Ruby! My beautiful wife and the love of my life! What can I do for you, my beloved?

Ruby: Whitley... You know how you saying stuff like that makes me feel...

Ruby: But, actually, I need to talk to you about something. Is that okay?

Whitley: Of course it is! Communication is the cornerstone to any good and healthy relationship, regardless of it being professional or romantic! No relationship can survive without a healthy amount of communication!

Whitley: Isn't that right, Rikki?

Worker: Fuck you, sir!

Whitley: Yeah, he loves me... So, what is it you wanted to talk about?

Ruby: Well, it's... It's about Jaune.

Whitley: OH! You had me at Jaune, Ruby~! Of course we can talk about him! After all, he is the brave and incredible hero that I am proud to call my best friend~! Atop his heroic deeds and selfless personality, he also has those stunning looks that make men and women swoon~! Furhtermore-

Ruby: Yeah, that. That's what I wanted to talk about. The way you talk about Jaune is really... specific.

Whitley: Specific in what regard? You mean specifically the truth because he's so handsome and amazing~?

Ruby: No, like you're specifically talking about him to people like you're... Well.... Kinda gay for him?

Whitley: Of course I'm gay for him~!

Ruby: WHAT?!

Whitley: YES~! I'm always happy when he's around, and thinking about him simply makes me want to cheer up just so I can see him smile!

Ruby: I... I didn't think you would just- Oh! No, no, no! Whitley, I don't mean the dictionary definition of gay.

Whitley: I beg your pardon? What else could you mean then?

Ruby: I mean you act really... homosexual around him.

Whitley: WHAT?! Whatever would give you THAT impression?!

Ruby: Well, there's the way you talk about his body...

Whitley: You mean his perfect and god-like body you'd be a fool not to fall in love with and want to sleep next to? I fail to see how that makes me gay!

Ruby: Okay, then what about how you talk about his personality?

Whitley: Absolutely ridiculous! How does me truthfully stating that Jaune is masculine perfection incarnate from his strength to stand against threats to his positive and uplifting charisma to be kind to everyone to his adorable fascination with and love of cinema to even his sexy confidence in whatever he does come across as GAY?!

Ruby: Whitley... You're literally building a statue of Jaune, SHIRTLESS WITH YOU HUGGING HIM, in the middle of the front yard driveway! Heck, you moved your grandpa's statue away from there just to put it there!

Whitley: Well, yes, but it absolutely belongs up there! It's a commemoration of the time Jaune, removed of his armor, allowed me to embrace and take shelter within him in front of everyone!

Ruby: Stop.

Whitley: And let me tell you, we both were quite sweaty as I took hold of him, and there was so much fluids everywhere that it was almost unbearable!

Ruby: Please, STOP.

Whitley: And even though that massive one-eyed snake was a tough and sturdy beast, Jaune and I, together, pushed through its fluids and whacked away that snake into a crater! It was a long and hard thing to whack, but finally, our endless whacking offed the one-eyed snake, stopping it from squirting any further fluids all over the people of New Atlas!

Ruby: I'm convince you're doing this on purpose...

Whitley: Doing what?! I'm just describing how Jaune and I shared a good whacking together!

Ruby: Whitley! Please!

Whitley: Look, Ruby, I understand you have concerns, and maybe the way I talk about Jaune is a bit much, but it's purely out of admiration and respect for the man who married my sister, and who saved all of New Atlas from that one-eyed snake's squirting!

Ruby: Whitley...

Whitley: (Holds her hands) But trust me when I say that is all there is to it! You are the love of my life, Ruby~. You're a kind and gentle soul who cares for everyone and only wants them to be happy, and I'm honored to have you as my wife~.

Ruby: Babe... That's... That's so sweet~! Thank you for saying that! (Hugs) I'll admit, maybe I was just jealous of your bond with Jaune and, even though what you were saying before didn't help, I see it's nothing like I thought it was. And even though you have this weird habit to say innuendos, you really love me the way I love you~.

Whitley: Indeed! You have nothing to worry about, my love~!

Ruby: (Giggles) Yeah... I know better now, honey...

Whitley: Besides, we only had sex, like, 19 times!

Ruby: ...

Ruby: W H A T ?

Whitley: YES! And those are only since you and I have been married~! Oh, but don't worry; we were both wearing socks the entire time, so it wasn't gay!

Ruby: THAT'S... YOU... I...

Whitley: Because as "NotGayDongLover6969" posted, "You can have sex with the homies as much as you want and as long as you wear socks it's not gay!" Truly, a voice for the modern age to live by~!

Ruby: I want a divorce.

Whitley: WHAT?! WHY?!

Jacques: Oh? A visitor?

Curious Cat: Mr. Schnee, your company has so many neat little things to bring back to the creatures of the Ever After~!

Curious Cat: (Flexes claws) I WILL BE TAKING THEM...

Jacques: The Ever After? What an exquisite place to start a CORPORTOCRACY!

RIP James Earl Jones

Rest in Peace to the Legend himself, James Earl Jones.

I believe James Earl Jones was the last surviving cast member from DR. STRANGELOVE (his first movie). What a career. RIP.

@Jackbutler4815 via X

Today, Jesus is holding:

James Earl Jones

An incomplete filmography—not including stage performances—of the incomparable James Earl Jones, an E.G.O.T. winner and the voice of a lifetime. 🕊️

Outfit of the day (James Earl Jones as Thulsa Doom, Conan the Barbarian, 1982)

by Francesco Francavilla

James Earl Jones - RIP

RIP James Earl Jones, whose long list of accomplishments on stage and screen includes being Sesame Street's first celebrity guest star.

Remembering Both James Earl Jones And Carrie Fisher

crying just a little too hard about this news. RIP to Mr. James Earl Jones… an indisputable legend of cinema and theatre. Thank you for playing such a significant role in my childhood— your gifts, talents, charisma, and generosity are known world wide and will never be forgotten. May the road rise up to meet you, and the wind be always at your back.

(via @DanKaszeta over at the former Bird Place)

May The Force Be With You....Always Thank you for everything.

R.I.P. James Earl Jones

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