When The Doctor Goes To The Powell Estate On New Year’s Eve As He’s Dying, He Asks Rose What Year

when the Doctor goes to the Powell Estate on New Year’s Eve as he’s dying, he asks Rose what year it is. all of the other visits were so calculated. he saves Mickey and Martha on a distant planet, just in the nick of time. he swats Luke out of the road before a car comes. he goes back in time and finds Geoffrey Noble, borrowing a quid, and gives Wilf a winning lottery ticket worth millions. he caught Donna’s wedding, just as she stepped out of the church.

But Rose. Oh, with Rose.

the Doctor says: “what year is this?” because he doesn’t even know.

do you think he just jammed his hands into the telepathic circuit as his body failed? do you think he just dreamt of her, desperately, the one face he was dying to see? do you think he hoped, prayed, that somehow he’d end up on her doorstep?

and the he’s in an alleyway full of snow. in London. and he knows that building, knows those stairs. and it’s finally snowing, for real this time. and he sees her, doesn’t even mean to speak to her, too afraid of timelines and paradoxes as putting her at risk…

but he’s in pain, and he grunts, and Rose—always ready to help someone in pain—turns around.

and the Doctor says: “what year is this?”

and when Rose says it’s 2005…oh, how his face lights up. It’s all ahead for her. And for him, too. I bet—he says—you’re gonna have a really great year...

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Alright, I'll say it: Jack Harkness and the Doctor's relationship is possibly the most fleshed out/complicated dynamic in Doctor Who and that is INCLUDING the master/doctor relationship. Seriously, think about it:

the fact that when they meet jack is presented as sleazy con man and the doctor makes him brave- makes him good

but that they are both willing to die for rose as long as she is safe

and then she comes back and dooms them both to live (even though jack has already died for her and the doctor WILL die for her)

(ninerosejack is canon and you cannot convince me otherwise)

but then the doctor sees jack as immortal as someone he COULD spend the rest of his life with

and instead of embracing it like you'd think he would because he is so wrecked by people leaving him/being left by him the doctor RUNS bc the Doctor is so scared of jack of what he means of what he is

jack ends up abandoned in dalek dust goes back in time to find the doctor suffers a hundred years alone/being tortured but STILL WAITS

(screw amy being the girl who waited or rory being the boy who waited- Jack Harkness is the boy who waited and he did it FIRST)

Jack finds out that he was abandoned. that the man that he loves HATES the sight of him. that the doctor would rather have a genocidal murderer than have him

and so Jack gets the hell out of dodge to go to a man who DOES love him

and don't get me wrong Jack loves Ianto and Jack DOES remember Ianto until he dies as the Face of Boe don't forget that (protecting Novice Hame from the virus as he couldn't Ianto

BUT AFTER EVERYTHING THE DOCTOR HAS DONE TO JACK JACK STILL LOVES THEM

Jack still considers five billion years cursed to never die to be BETTER than the alternative: dying a young time-agent-turned-con-man

Jack has more reason than any other companion save maybe Amy to hate the Doctor & yet spends 20 years in jail to rescue Thirteen still LOVES HER

AND AFTER FIVE BILLION YEARS HE ORGANIZES THAT FIRST MEETING ON SATELLITE FIVE HE ORGANIZES 9/ROSE'S FIRST DATE

jack harkness is a living ghost a reminder of the doctor's failures a physical fixed point and yet he still loves the girl who cursed him and the time lord that turned him into the kind of person that would give his dying breaths to protect the last of humanity in a dying city and tell the doctor that he is not alone

because fuck it, YANA was a warning but also a reminder a final gift

jack had been there all along, a ghost an echo a PROMISE

there is no more human character than jack harkness

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what actually rocks my shit with the moment ten finally hears the four knocks and realizes he's going to die anyway isn't just the look in his eyes - because bro, that was some damn good acting. no, it's also, mostly the fact that it's not just because he's going to die that he feels so sick. it's also because he realizes he has been on his guard, and paranoid for so long, and that in the end, nobody was out there to kill him. he's been paranoid over nothing. it made him act out of fear and do terrible stuff just to convince himself he could do anything including surviving, and that look in his eyes when he solves his case is one that says "it's always been you or them. it will always be you or them":

nine had to sacrifice his life to save rose's and then ten his happiness for hers.

donna begged him to let her stay but he couldn't bear to watch her die so he did something selfish and erased her memories against her will - not really just to protect her, but to protect himself from the pain and grief of losing her.

not that that's how he sees it. in his mind he probably thinks he did it for her.

then in waters of mars he comes back and saves three people who were supposed to die and someone knocks three times and he probably likes to think he's the one who averted a fourth one - because it would entail that he can do it: save himself and save them.

then it all comes crashing down that he can't when adelaide brooke offs herself - it's either him or them and it will always be them.

there he goes, last two episodes, resigned to his fate: he will confront the master and the drumming and die to save everyone.

but he survives.

and for a moment, everything shifts. maybe he can be happy. maybe he can find a way to bring donna's memories back without killing her. maybe he will see rose again.

finally, wilfred knocks, and it's the cruelest reminder - it will always be you or them. it will always be them.

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