Is This A Safe Space To Say That If He Was Real This Man Would Not Be Safe From Me

How I see the tgcf timeline as someone who hasn’t gotten far enough to have my theories proved or not

(Note: this is based on what little evidence I’ve been given and mostly fandom spoilers)

Sp firstly, Jun Wu is a dope ass prince but has his kingdom all die to a volcano (I think) and ends up living what is basically a parallel to Xie Lian’s life (will touch on that later) but ends up becoming the emperor of heaven and just all around a real ominous dude. Before that, he became that half-smiley half-frowny dude (white-clothed calamity I think? Or, he might have just dressed up as that during the fall of Xianle? Idk yet)

He uses his little heaven binoculars or something and sees that Xie Lian is living his best life in Xianle and is an incredibly dope ass prince, just like JW was when he was alive mortal so JW decided to go ‘Haha kin’ and ruin his entire life because ‘Body in abyss mind in paradise’ or whatever the fuck his saying is (I think it’s actually cause he’s a bitch but whatever). Xie Lian has the worst life humanly (godly?) possible after that and also almost becomes a calamity but doesn’t for some reason idk. Then he gets banished and then ascends a second time, during which he lasts a whole thirty seconds as a god and gets turned into sort of (sword of haha) a pincushion (I’ll see myself out) and then banished again. Then he ascends a third time and the Story starts, and he ends up getting a ghost boyfriend who had the hots for him cause he caught him one time when he yeeted himself off a building. Eventually HC fucking dies somehow, idk how that happens. Qi Rong gets turned into a lamp somehow and now Guzi is traumatised (I think it was Lang Qianqiu (Who has a tiger for some reason btw) who did it?Fuck if I know. Also right before getting lampified Qi Rong might take Jun Wu’s side in something he shouldn’t which I honestly can’t say is out of character cause he’s a little shit. Anyways)

After all the mt tong’lu shit (that’s where I’m at rn) I imagine everyone tries to beat the shit outta Jun Wu and that’s probably where Hua Cheng dies, but idk. Will update later when I can be bothered to read more.

OH BOY THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO SAVE AS A DRAFT

is this a safe space to say that if he was real this man would not be safe from me

There would be nowhere he could go where I would not find him and ask him out. Asexuality be damned, he could be go to the ends of the earth and I would sense him like a shark and chase him with speed previously unseen by humanity. He could be hiding in a little house in the ass crack of the turtle holding up the planet and I would show up at his door with a rose between my teeth. I want him biblically. I want him in a way that would make Jesus himself rise from the ground and punch me in the throat. Then Jesus would see this man and join in instead.

yeah‼️

banan. fish?

Being trans is so fucking funny cause my sister will be like “Ugh I wish I had a dick it probably feels crazy” and I have to be careful not to agree too hard or she’ll look at me like this

I am absolutely anti ‘watering characters down to just being a femboy’ and all that, but some people need to be more normal about people just calling fictional characters twinks. It isn’t an insult, it’s not crude, it’s literally just a genre of gay and some characters fit that.

for someone who likes not being awake so much, I sure do a lot of overtime

I’ve never been to America but I think I want to go there just so I can get a car, start in New York or something, and drive all the way to California. Then all the way back. Preferably with a gang of buddies who are all also non binary bisexuals and varying displays of autism. Cons are that I get motion sick after fifteen minutes in a vehicle and I will put metal music and Hozier on in the same five-minute timespan, pros are that I’m hot and willing to make out with anyone else there and I’ll eat the fruit gummies that nobody else likes.

why he kitty

The way Qi Rong reacts to Xie Lian's praise is my Roman Empire.

Look how happy it made him

Then how mad he got when he realized how he reacted

The unpacked trauma is crazy

nothing is more fun that creating OC’s who have relationships with characters that would need to be wildly out of character in order to ever give a fuck about them in the slightest. Like wdym Hua Cheng is nice to my silly little OC because he’s small and sells weeds by the road in ghost city like a street urchin. He would not fucking say that (affectionate)