> Status Condition: Eternal Dread (permanent)

Sometimes I think about how easy it is to fuck up a kid.

Like. I could just lie to them constantly--

Tommy, my fictional son: *holding an apple* What's this, Baba?

Me: Ah, that right there is a schmidalflapper.

What it feels like trying to explain polyamory to literally anybody.

A group of pomeranians is called a puff.

Abstract Woop

First image of a tardigrade (1773)

There are two types of people when hearing the "Why do they call it oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food" joke for the first time:

1) What? What are you trying to say? This makes no sense.

And

2) ...I hate that I understand this

"Can't you be serious?"

Being serious is bad for my health, actually!

My joints sound like glow sticks