Stop Pushing

Yellow Lines

Staring into the yellow lines

Trying to go with the flow

I cannot bring myself to look up at the pines

Delirious depression in this mechanical car is a light load Sitting next to one of my discombobulating demons

Unable to run or fight it

Inside I am scream'n

This makes me want to fuck shit Staring at the two yellow lines, I think...

About last year when I climbed the walls

I should take leaps for the fun of the falls

Onto the sun warmed tar I desire to sink Thinking about two people who give me hope

That is for whatever is next to come

I feel the slope,

That leads into my own personal slum

Two lines, two women who are fierce

How far will I get with the uneven yellows?

Bright yellow does pierce

Stuck like a baby in the backseat type of mellow What to do when I turn the stone of 18?

My enemy has me trapped and constantly, greedily coming back

I have to hold the slack

What do I even know? One thing is for certain

I will keep moving forwards

Hopefully I'll stick with my words

I will go wherever the yellow snakes take me, in order to see the man behind the curtain

Dead in a Shallow Puddle

The face of it

The eyes fully open as if it was looking for something in me

The short hair sticking straight up, floating in the gentle movement

of the little puddle

But the eyes, cold, ice, blue

I dared to touch the dead person's face

I could see the sky, wind, water in those blue eyes

Wondering what their story might have been

The eyes were still alive, searching

You could tell that the body was withering away

In those eyes there was everything but fire

The bones becoming visible

There was nothing scary in those eyes

Who left them behind like this?

You could tell from their eyes that the person was gentle but they were too

delicate,

Like frosting on a cake

What was the last thing those rich eyes saw?

How many winters?

His eyes give me meaning

Something to live for even though he is dead

But his eyes stay awake

Then it hit me like a sword in the throat, he did it to himself

But his eyes are so big and beautiful

Why did he do that?

Those eyes of ice

His body was ice

His eyes spoke of sweet passions and dreams

He must have been a hard worker

But I fell in live with those eyes of ice

My heart will forever be frozen in time

His eyes alive

If only by miracle he came back to life

My eyes are locked with his

I always fall in love with something I can't have

Why must my eyes do that?

Seasons

Trees in the winter are skeletons

But now they are beaded with buds

Grass greener than ever

To make up for being dead

Overcompensation

Before burn out

It will all soon happen again

And without knowing it,

I will grow into

Good territory or bad

I may be stuck here but

It’s my choice where my roots go

I will see it through in the weather

And the seasons of weakness

Don't Ever

Too good to be true

In the back of my head I knew

Do you really have a freshman crush?

You're still keeping hush

You're a chicken

You're heart is too alive and kick’n

You fall in love to easy

In my world it’s cold and breezy

You loved me

Please

Just tell me how come you don’t want me anymore?

I thought you wouldn't walk out the door

I see how you're just going to leave me like this

Without my first kiss

I was so ready

I won’t believe you if you ever ask me to go steady

Don’t you even dream about coming back!

Intelligence is what you lack

You're kissing a golden one goodbye!

I can’t wait for you to move in four months, I'm not going to lie

Broke my heart without even touching it

You need to teach yours how to heel and sit

I remember when I was still…

I was chewing the idea of you and I over and over like a sweet jolly rancher in my mouth

You're such a hot head you have to move south

Why don’t you just tell me?

Don’t break me slowly while you get to flee

That rumor I heard

It hurt, I now see you as a wimpy little turd

Do you want to change that?

Or are you just going to keep on hiding under your uninterested mat?

The weather is angry

I'm all strangely

Come near me at your own risk

Permanently scratched your video game disk

Oh I can be bitch!

I'm that annoying out of your league back itch

So you don’t want to love this blue eyed mess?

Boy, I'll make you confess

Straight to my face

I'll beat you at the end of the race

You'll want be back after

When that happens I'll be the one making all of the laughter

The Nights Drag On

The days drag on

They slip through my fingers

And dive under my legs

Running on that dang treadmill

Wake up and run

Repeat

A trillion tons of pressure

No thoughts

Halls that stretch on forever

Junior problems

Became senior ones

Goodness making me want to puke

Coldness

Eating away at my hollow bones

I feel like I’m the only hydrated piece of sand in the desert

The only dry fish in the sea

Someday I’ll get speared

Not spared

A book thrown down stairs

Forgetting sunrises

And not regretting it

Invisible issues are the atoms that make me up

Holding in and holding on and exploding

Walls are shaking with,

The darkness of given up days

(That’s all of them)

I don’t sleep because I can breathe at night

The nights drag on…

Flit Flirt

You, little flit flirt

Back at my window

From bad to good, my feelings you convert

The wind blows, blows, blows

  Window, open, I still can’t hear you

Please stay

With you I think I’ll get through

My light of day

  Everything, you give

I’ll saver

Die for you, or live?

If you ever need a favor...

  You and I don’t have the clock,

Don’t rush

Love, my time torturously tick tocks

Me heart you better not crush

  I will succeed

Still you come and go

Love me?

You taught me how to go with the flow

Running And Fighting

All the wrong words rhyme

This poetry thing is getting old

And it’s hard to break patterns

It’s hard to be constantly doing something that terrifies you

So here is a messy clump of words with no organization

Here’s me, and I'm not sure who I am without poetry

It might be starting to fade because I've worn it out

But I don’t want to stop

At least not yet

Poetry is the only way I am allowed to rebel

That is without suffering the consequences

Writing is my way of running and fighting

Running and fighting is all I know

Running and fighting is all human nature knows

A lack of life and sleep makes me want to quit,

Running and fighting

Should I try to make the right words rhyme,

Even if it makes me more tired?

I guess that’s what I’ll do,

To make it feel like I’m getting somewhere,

With my endless, restless, wandering…

Wandering…

           Wandering…

                       Wandering

Hands

When I put my hands together it didn’t feel right,

Because it’s not your hand that’s in my hold

In the middle of the night,

I am cold

At most

I get to hold your ghost

At the movies we held hands

I thought you'd turn into air between my fingers, that is not something I could stand

I am so attached,

To how we matched

If I told my male guardian about you, he might attack,

And be on my back,

Riding me like a bull, steering me crazy

Get off me; my vision is not hazy

I see the red flags

You give me tightly packed, zipped up, emotional bags

I should take the hint and move on

I’ll take my luggage with me

Put on my big girl shoes and be gone

You'll never see,

You’ve hurt me so many times and I never learn

On you, I can’t place the blame

I still don’t get why you make my stomach churn

What a shame

What I don’t want him to know is that I have a blue jay

If he knew, he’d try to convince my eyes to see that blue jays are mean

I have a bird, isn’t something I'm going to say

I won’t listen because I'm a rebel; towards blue jays I'll lean

I don’t want to stop holding your hand

It feels like sand

Mine are softer than expected

I don’t know about you but I feel connected

First One About You

Theater is life

Someone kept stealing my lines though…

Soooo…

How’s the weather?

Its ever changing, wasn't that clever?   How was school?

Did anything interesting happen?

No answer, oh he was just napp’n

This isn't awkward, it’s just weird

I think this is what I feared   I know that you have a crush

But I don’t know anyone

Can’t you just be gone?

I'm just scared

Because you care   I like to be alone

I'm single

I don’t want a boy to break my heart like a pringle

I've been hurt so many times

You would know if you read all of my rhymes   Can you take me?

Am I ready for a big jump?

Should I prepare for another painful heart thump?

I think that your crush is just lust

Right now your love I don’t really trust   Hey.

Do you even know the difference between lust and love?

I want to try you on and see if you fit like a glove

Sometimes I do get lonely

Maybe all of you is just baloney   I should get my head straightened out

Are you the one?

Should we become Suan?

I need to stop making jokes out of your name

For now I'm glad you came   Do you really want this?

Do you want this terribly stubborn mess

Don’t expect anymore, or any less

If I could just make up my mind

Boy, you seem kind   Thanks to Facebook

You said, “Hi”

What if you ever saw me cry?

Baby

Maybe someday you'll save me   I still remember that time

When you were telling a mini story

In all your glory

When you pulled me off the couch, I was a sour lime

But you asked, “Babe can you please be mine?”

I’ve Been Wronged

A bit of white on blue isn't

A tad quite all white

All I see is white

A pure, Christian shade of white A white expanding cloud

A white page

An unknown

Anonymous An

Anxiety

Attack

And a loss of godliness Honestly it became a sharp

Hue of

Hatred

How did it come to this... "Hi" I say to my friend

He says it was a

Hit and run

However I Have to try not to

Hyperventilate through this

Hiccup. Why did this have to

Happen. Now my car has a Scarlet letter, but I am getting

Help to hammer out the dents

I only wish I could have frozen

Time