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Chaotic Death Eaters - Blog Posts

Lily, about Bellatrix: I like her, she has that, what do you call it?

Regulus: Cold blooded ruthlessness?

Lily: No, that’s not it.

Lily: Ah, a knife, she has a knife.


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Lucius, about a fight between Bellatrix and Severus: It scares me how many knives were involved.

Lily: There… weren’t any knives involved though?

Lucius: That’s what scares me.

*************************OR***********************

Narcissa, about a fight between Lily and Severus: It scares me how many knives were involved.

Regulus: There… weren’t any knives involved though?

Narcissa: That’s what scares me.


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*The squad is over at Narcissa's house*

Lucius: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Narcissa: ... N-No...

Narcissa, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Lucius, motioning to her kitchen: Three, I thought!

Bellatrix: I see a-

Narcissa, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Lucius: Oh, well I-

Narcissa: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Narcissa, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Regulus: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Severus: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Narcissa: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Narcissa: I am a woman who owns four ovens...

Narcissa, louder and way too happy: I am a woman... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Narcissa: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Lily, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Narcissa:

Lucius: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Narcissa:

Narcissa, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM A WOMAN WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS


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Severus: So we're gathered here today for a very special reason and I think you'll all agree with me here.

Severus: And if you don't well then fuck you.

Severus: I'm looking at you, Bellatrix, you jealous mop.


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Severus: You read my diary?

Bellatrix: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.


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Severus: So what’s for dinner?

Regulus: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!

Severus: …

Severus: Is it soup?

Regulus: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Severus: Please, enough with the soup puns!

Regulus: Wow, you’re soup-per mean.

Severus: STOP!

*one hour later*

Severus: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!


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Severus: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Lucius: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Severus: No! Four to five seconds!

Lucius: Too late!!!


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