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January - Telemachus throwing his staff on the ground and bursting into tears
February - Antinous slamming Odysseus with a stool
March - Telemachus lamenting that the gods have forsaken him while Athena, in disguise, is right beside him
April - Odysseus hiding under sheep and behind faeces while escaping the cyclops
May - Odysseus taunting the cyclops even while he throws giant boulders at him
June - Ctesippus throwing a cow’s hoof at Odysseus
July - Nausicaa and her handmaidens washing clothes naked at the riverbank when they find Odysseus, also naked
August - Odysseus wanting to kill Eurylochus at Circe’s island
September - Peisistratus becoming an “intimate friend” of Telemachus
October - Odysseus lying to a disguised Athena, which impresses and amuses her
November - the suitors making excuses for their bad archery, with Antinous blaming it on the fact that it’s the day of Apollo’s feast
December - Penelope getting the suitors to give her gifts, delighting Odysseus by her cunning
“Your name isn’t Hermes, it’s Bore-mes. Because you bore me.”
- Apollo to Hermes (at one point, probably)