Ketheric Thorm - Blog Posts

Your average meeting of the Dead Three

I think I talked too much about just how grossly they kiss but did not make it clear enough. Right in front of Ketheric's salad, too.

@juicieboxart made a gorgeous Durge to kiss Ketheric with and then it was a bit of a blur

I'm going to pretend this is canon and no one can stop me

Also this gets 10 times funnier if you think Durge and Gortash were dating and Ketheric was the third wheel. Durge and Gortash are unsubtly flirting with each other and Ketheric is trying to keep them on the topic of the Absolute

Myrkul is the third wheel of the Dead Three, and you can not change my mind.

Bane and Bhaal hate each other so much, and Myrkul's just there like

"I hate both of you"

and the other two are just busy yelling at one another

I swear Bane and Bhaal are exs, and Myrkul has to now deal with this eternal falling out

I know it's technically about how Bane got the most power and Bhaal is jealous blah blah blah, but this is funnier

They are divorced, your honor

And Myrkul is just there, sick of it

A silly comic of the Chosen playing Minecraft..

We’re fighting Ketheric Thorm and no one is taking it seriously.

Headcanon!

Bowling headcanon that no one asked for (in addition to the one I did about hockey)

Tav: arranges every single game because they’re the only responsible one; is very good at bowling and owns their own ball, shoes, bag, and towel; somehow never gets a turkey but can hit a 7-10 split

Durge: tries to stab someone when they roll a gutter ball; has to rent shoes; spends the night pretending to sacrifice the pins to Bhaal

Karlach: very good at bowling, but doesn’t take it seriously; tends to order pitchers of beer and gets too drunk to throw the ball down her own lane

Lae’zel: also very good at bowling, but takes the game way too seriously; has her own ball, shoes, bag, towel, and embroidered bowling shirt (Shadowheart embroidered it for her)

Shadowheart (Selûnite): doesn’t bowl, but does like the little claw machine game in the arcade area where she can win owlbear stuffies; cheers on Lae’zel from the spectator area when she’s done playing in the arcade

Shadowheart (Dark Justiciar): what is bowling and who the fuck are these people?

Astarion: much like with hockey, won’t play because he might break a nail (also because even the children’s balls are too heavy for him); spends the whole time gossiping with Jaheira, Shadowheart, and Isobel in the spectator area; tries to convince them to leave and get tacos and margaritas instead because bowling is “droll”

Wyll: very good at bowling and takes it only an inch less serious than Lae’zel; also has his own towel, shirt, bag, shoes, and ball

Gale: spends the entire time “educating” everyone on the historical beginnings of the game and how it has evolved over time; uses magic to cheat because he usually spins gutter balls

Halsin: excellent at bowling; brought the game to the Emerald Grove; is as serious as Wyll and loves it when he gets a turkey (he makes a gobble-gobble noise every time)

Minthara: “IN MENZOBERRANZAN THE MALES RESET THE PINS” (she’s yelling because she and Karlach are having a drinking contest that only Minthara knows about); is surprisingly good at bowling when she’s not sloshed; owns her own ball and shoes, but NOT because she likes the game (she does, but would rather die than admit it)

Jaheira: very good at bowling, but doesn’t play anymore because of arthritis; hangs out with Shadowheart in the spectator area above the pit and cheers on everyone

Minsc: Boo has to remind Minsc how to bowl, but once Minsc understands, he dominates; he also gets very drunk with Karlach

Dame Aylin: same with hockey, she was there when it was created and helped design the lanes; “HARK! THY LANES HATH MARKINGS UPON THEM THAT RESEMBLE MOON MOTES IN HONOR OF MY DIVINE MOTHER” (they’re just arrows and range markers, but don’t tell Aylin that); absolutely amazing at bowling; has her own gear that matches her armor perfectly

Isobel: doesn’t bowl, but comes to every single game to cheer on Dame Aylin and Dame Aylin only; sometimes sneaks off to the arcade with Shadowheart

Bonus -

Mizora: thinks the whole game is idiotic, but wants to be included; doesn’t bowl; spends the whole time making bets on who will get the highest score (but the bet is someone’s soul, cuz, yanno, Mizora)

Ketheric Thorm: very good at bowling - was on a league before his wife and Isobel died; spends the night trying to reconnect with Isobel by telling her “back in my day” stories (it doesn’t go well)

Orin: same as Durge, really, but with a dash more chaos; she also rents shoes but doesn’t wear socks

Gortash: greasy ass fry cook (I will not apologize)