Lactose Intolerance - Blog Posts

Me when:

Milk~

people with lactose intolerance really don't be giving a fuck. my friend just chugged a glass full of milk tea that was the size of my forearm, looked me in the eye, and said, 'One must live freely or not at all'. what the hell was that about.

Being a heavy lactose intolerant is such a wild trip. Like, you're going to eat out. You take your precautions, take your lactase pills with you. Make sure to avoid certain things, and you think "ok everything is safe and fine, let's dig in"

You eat a good amount of food during the time the meds will be active: a bit of everything you can find, to enjoy and make it worthy. Because taking too much lactase in short amounts of time can reduce your resistance and it's effects. If this happens, it's the end of the line for someone like me - a diary lover with a severe case.

Everything is fine for the first 30 minutes. Maybe even an hour. Then the discomfort attacks. Some minor pains on the tummy, a little gas. It keeps growing and growing. And you wonder why - you took the pills at the right time period? What is going on? Am I dying? Is this some other stuff? Did my period start? Did the enzyme stop working?

You can start to feel more and more pain. You can't sleep because no position is confortable. You starts panicking and go to the bathroom. It goes back to normal. Nothing bad happens. But why?

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, INTESTINE? WHAT DID I EVER DID TO YOU?

🤣🤣🤣

Why is oomf next to me talking about twst lactose intolerance headcannons...

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@jaziezkit

Me: why do my intestines hurt?

Me: *remembers that I drank a large milk tea and I'm lactose intolerant*

Me: oh

Human Cas trying different drinks for the first time (Victorian child inspired):

Water

*frowns* "It tastes like time..."

Dean: So you don't like it? Cause you kinda need that to-

Cas: No. It's great. (and he means it)

Milk

Cas: "You know, adult humans really shouldn't be drinking this. This would have been unheard of in the 18th century, and I really don't understand the appeal of cow secretions-"

Dean: *plugs his ears* Ahhh... enough. I do not consent to hearing those words.

Sam: You know, he's not wrong! Get this-

Dean: Kindly, shut! up!

[Dean slides the glass forward]

Try the milk. : )

Cas: *sighs and tales a sip* I am not a calf. This is weird. I feel gross, Dean.

Dean: Stop being so dramatic! This is why you're trying everything now, so you don't embarrass us in public. Come on, it ain't that bad.

[Cas then spends half an hour on the toilet. He is apparently lactose intolerant.]

Diet Coke

Cas: [Wearily] Is this dairy free?

Dean: It's diet-friggen-coke, Cas. It's dairy free. It's also sugar free! Because someone [he glares at Sam] has a bad taste in pop. Real honest sugar is probably better for you than this junk.

Cas: Agreed. The fact that it's sugar free does by no means make cocaine good for you. It's actually quite concerning that you boys drink this. I think we should do an "intervention."

Dean:

Sam:

Cas: Does 6pm tomorrow work for you two? I'll find some folding chairs and arrange them in a circle.

[They never could get Cas to drink diet Coke, because why is it still called Coke, if there's not cocaine in it? and that's false advertising, which I also do not condone.]

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If people enjoy this one, I'll take suggestions for other foods for Cas to try

“LCT gene expression is controlled by a DNA sequence called a regulatory element, which is located within a nearby gene called MCM6. Some individuals have inherited changes in this element that lead to sustained lactase production in the small intestine and the ability to digest lactose throughout life.” source

soz if u can’t digest lactose sucks being a normie