Out Of Pocket - Blog Posts

What If Lucifer Was The One To Give Birth To Charlie, And It Was Revealed At The Finale Battle?

Zeal & Biblio Give Me Phobos & Deimos Energy!

What Is The Story Of Mario.Exe Games? Because With Sonic.Exe Its Quite Simple; “Sonic Gets Possessed & Everyone Dies” But Mario.Exe Doesn’t Have That, So Does Mario Get Possessed Too Or Am I Missing Something..?

I Think Eggman Would Be Good At Prank Calls!

He Has An IQ Of 300 & Has All The Technology In The World! Not To Mention He Can Change His Voice, Like In “Sonic Adventure”!

Out-of-Pocket Quotes

A/N: These are random quotes I have overheard, seen, or said irl and I thought it would be funny to make a little compilation of them here! Lmk what you think of these (bonus points if you try to guess where these come from/the context!) Also, note that these might be offensive jokes in some cases but I don't actually mean anything with these

What if the king was on drugs?

You’re the reason people yell fire instead of help

Hashtag yakuza fan page

I want a lobotomy

Hey guys, it’s me, your neighbourhood Caucasian

How much pussy do you think I’d need to eat before I die?

Your spiritual level dick

If you were Pinocchio, you’d have a nose long enough to ride

I did not need to be flashed by Italy’s fascist dictator

We turn on the stove but lay in the pan

Mr. Incognito over here

I’m very economic friendly

Ugh, heterosexuals

I’m gonna put you in a chamber

“I love sluts, I want an orgasm” in a dream

No, homosexuality is big enough of a contraceptive

Last time, you dislocated his cotton

That seems like Lord Farquaad from Shrek put into Benito Mussolini

Did you see his speeches? It looked like a Taylor Swift concert

I'm not a software. I’m hardware, cause I’m always hard

I don’t know, I think it would be unethical to give out small children

I only showed my boobs to (name)! It’s the same thing!

World peace is lame, I like employment

Lord, I am not your strongest soldier. Give my battles to someone else.

No, actually, I'm going to seduce German brainrot

Jalapeños in your ass water

You know the saying “the more, the merrier”? I think they were referring to polyamory

It means you’re a gay whore

I’m doing gay shit and I keep touching his ass. I need to calm down.

Homiesexual

A fetish for fibre? Yeah, that’s a fibre addiction

It’s not cheating if it’s a threesome

She should be illegal! No, she’s an aryan

So apparently WikiHow supports mpreg?

It’s like 37 degrees here. Wait, let me get that for you in communism units

So Dorothy is basically a terrorist

Do you know what it feels like when I point at your eyeball?

Why are you leaking rulers?

The lottery is more complex than childbirth

Why are white people…scientifically? Do they have hidden whiteness?

Why are we so weird? No, we’re just queer

The human body has 206 bones. When I’m with children, I have 207

Be molested or something

I want to permanently mutate my body

Imaginary logs sound schizophrenic

You felt her gaze? More like you felt her gays

Do it before it does you

Why are these incest tomatoes?

They could have been sexting through carrier pigeons

It’s like the Pokémon fish version of Chappell Roan

Hamstring? Yeah I’m about to string your ham

I’m pretty sure I have to be made by two straight people

Mildred from Fahrenheit 451 is basically their version of an iPad kid

Does herpes make me cry?

Apparently seagulls are gay

Dora is so terrorist-coded

How hot does the Earth have to be for our farts to spontaneously combust?

Fuck off, hydrogen!

You know what’s really bad? Sexual torture

You’re not white. Yay!

Let’s peel back hairlines like we peel back layers of onions

This is definitely dinosaur porn

Your bloodline probably has 25 STDs but you do you

I didn’t sign up for having weird, disfigured incest babies

See, this is why guillotines are the best!

It tasted like perverted sushi

I love bombing brown children, someone’s gotta do it

Mmm, plant sperm, smells delicious

Burning is not a personality trait

He drew a really shitty tree that looked like a uterus

Maybe buildings can have sex, maybe we just don’t know it yet

Reptiles would be such good capitalists

Euler was the first gigachad

Phonic apparatus

International transcendence

Hitler, you can’t take the Jews. Give them back!

World War 2 was just a failed version of gentle parenting

It’s dick macaroni

Stop bringing the incestual vibe to the function

Hitler was like the suicidal son they never wanted

My friend is investing in the stock market, which is basically glorified gambling

Why are you molesting my spoon?

Do your child victims relate?

I abuse all my friends equally

How is cannibalism not PG-13?

Everyone walking around is superhuman. Except poor people

It’s not considered kidnapping a kid if it’s an orphan. Then it’s free housing

How many grandmas could you drop kick before you die?

Dear King Philip came over for gay sex

Why are whales better at sex than humans are?

My trans parent bed is part of the LGBTQ furniture

Why would I jerk off to Hitler’s ghost?

Homophobia is cool if I hate straight people more

I really didn’t think (name) would be into a dead fascist, but here we are

Bisexual until proven straight

We don’t discriminate when it comes to molesting

This is corruption therapy

They don’t need Jesus guys, they just need the IB

Don’t worry guys, it’s not infidelity, it’s pedophilia, which is better

When in doubt, Pavlov yourself

I'm not gonna teach you sex ed for lesbians!

How long do you think you'd be able to use a corpse as a boxing bag?

Maybe if you make your cow run enough, it'll start producing lactic acid

I'm gonna lie on my deathbed jacking off to AO3

I can shove 8 baguettes up my ass

Polyamory is like one of those Egyptian pharoahs

Bro forgot he wasn't playing tennis when he started clapping balls

Can you deep fry a dick?

I want to have a war crime named after me

Feral kids are very easy to mass produce

Why would you clone humans? It's called having a child

Think colonial thoughts

I feel like my intestine is getting sticky

The unit circle is definitely an alcoholic, abusive man

masterpost

Line dividers credit goes to @enchanthings