Sick And Tired - Blog Posts

Happy 11/11 everyone!!!

It's 11-11-24 today!!!

First, thank you to all veterans who have put their lives into protecting us. We love you all so dearly and thank you for your service. Without you, I am unsure of how our lives would be today.

Secondly, as today is quite literally an angel number, I will put a lot of effort into shifting today.

I woke up unable to breathe and couldn't stop coughing, so any of my plans for the day were put on hold as I rested to get back to my original self.

So now I sit here typing this while cuddled into soft blankets and plushies with some subliminals playing in the background.

I will be finishing my MPHFPC script while watching the movie and rereading some of the books, I am making a big change to my script which I am excited about so hopefully I can keep my motivation up!

I hope all of you have a lovely day and happy shifting to you all <3

honestly it’d probably be better for everyone involved if literally nobody ever spoke to me again

light means nothing when your mind is dark

dear mr sandman… …

🪦🥀📽

doesn’t the daisy calm your nerves, dear?

vent

Day 2!!!:

Day 2 of COVID:

I woke up feeling like absolute crap :').

I feel weak, tired, numb, it was difficult to open my eyes at first, my throat is KILLING me, I have a cough, and stuffy nose. Even a bit of a headache, plus my body is achy..

Send help 😭

I am so tired of being jealous of my friends. I shouldn’t be. I’m happy they are getting the help that they need but what can’t it be me? Why won’t my mom believe me! Why won’t she book me an appointment to figure out my joints instead of just saying it my diet? Why won’t she book an appointment to figure out what’s going on with how tired I feel all the time but can’t ever sleep instead of just saying it depression? Why can’t she accommodate my needs? Why won’t she buy me the supports I need? Why won’t she buy me my comfort food? Why won’t she support my accommodations? Why won’t she care about me?

All my friends have loving parents. One of my friends mom takes them to all the appointments that they need to get the help they need. But my mom won’t even make an effort to call an online therapist so I don’t have to struggle with no support and my old therapist was not working for me. My friends mom will support how they need to live to have a good life and my mom won’t even let me eat the food I like and know I like without getting on my ass. My friends mom takes care of them and mine doesn’t and it feels horrible.

And that’s just the stuff with my physical health and neurodivergency. She also ignores my anxiety unless she uses it to justify something else. It hurts so bad to see your best friend have a wonderful mother who supports them and helps them get the supports they need and the best my mom will do is get me on testosterone then saying that if I have an attitude she’ll take me off it.

She does that with so many things. If I have an attitude or get mad or have normal human emotions she threatens to take away my restorative or take away my ability to see my friend.

She once booked an appointment with my doctor just for the doctor to say “yeah, that’s normal human emotions”. But when I tell her that I am struggling to be a human in a productive way because I think I have autism after hours and hours of reaserch she says that the waiting list is too long. It stead of making that call when I’m still a minor she is making me do it once I am an adult. I have to do it for myself with no support from my mom.

And I live my dad but he also doesn’t stand up for me. How am I supposed to get through this shit with parents who blame my constant pain on diet and won’t book appointments I need.

I’m so tired of being put in a bad mood when my best friend talks about their mental health and neurodivergency. It’s not FUCKING fair!