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You Broke My Heart - Blog Posts
You still sit in front of me in English class, and it kills me a little bit more every time I have to watch you read out loud. Passage by passage, word by word sentence by sentence.
I feel used.
I feel ashamed.
You meant so much to me yet you threw me away like I was disposable. Like I was garbage. Maybe that is all I am to you. Was it for the money? Was it because I let you use my cell phone? Was it because I made you look less pathetic in comparison? Ten fucking years and 5 calls to CPS yet once the summer ended it was like I didn't exist anymore. So yeah, sit with your annoying friends and complain about how shitty your life is. I for one, know about the lies, the exaggerations, the manipulations. Just last year you had practically convinced me that every little inconvenience was my fault.
Enjoy your friends, enjoy being popular, enjoy not having me around, the only person who didn't just have you around because of pity. I wish I could tell you right now just how I feel. I try not to cry about it but the tears run down my cheeks regardless. You were my best friend, my sister, my everything, but I was nothing. You used me up until I was nothing left, treated me like my depression and anxiety were nothing to you and wouldn't even apologize. Everytime I just wanted a second to myself you'd cry and make me feel bad like the child you are. I hope you feel this right now, the pain I feel every day because of you. Part of me still misses you, I'll see something funny on the Internet and wonder what you'd think. I'll draw a picture or write a song and wonder if you'd be proud of me.
Go fuck yourself.
The trust was as radiant as the sun, yet like a sudden eclipse, you cast shadows that blinded me, sweeping me into darkness.
And as the light faded, I stumbled through the ruins of my shattered faith, each step a haunting reminder of the warmth that had once ignited my soul.
I look at the cover of our love story and acknowledge that there will never be another one quite like it, and I make peace with it.
c.e.
Give me all your hate, it’s your indifference that I can’t take
Dear Guardian Angel,
My gums are bleeding
I still haven't eaten
Do you pity me?
Please don't
I do this to myself
I self sabotage when things get better and act like it's the end of the world
I dug my own grave
Do you feel anything at all…
You were assigned to me
I'm sorry
My observer
For all the things you've seen
For all my thoughts you hear
For all the words I utter
And still I hope you can see that this is not truly me
I am is whatever I've seen on tv
I'm a chameleon
I put on a new mask and change it when it cracks
I'm lost
Who am I?
I’m gone
Or am I just done
Sitting with my thoughts alone
In this empty home
Father ignores and mothers on the other side of the world
I'm sure you already know
I mean you know me better than me
Stuck in my apocalypse
Hollow, dark, empty, incomplete, disguised, loveless
Distorted with the painful echo of my screams and cries.
Begging for an escape from my capturer
Me.
sometimes, i wonder if i'd pushed myself just a little harder in the past, i would have held onto something meaningful by now.
- a.m. {they never last}
“i have a tendency to fall in love with people i already know will end up breaking my heart,
yet i still hope one of them will prove me wrong.”
- A.M. {just one}
ballad
my heart clenches every time i read a poem he dedicates to the beautiful rose girl
whilst i sit here with broken, ink stained fingers, continuously writing about a boy who will never write a sentence for the plain daisy girl
- is it love or envy
a.r.
haunted
your ghost
still leaves kisses
on my cheek to
make sure
i never
forget you
a.r.
2am thoughts
The first person you think in the Morning, or last person you think of at night,
Is either the cause of your happiness or your pain
Sometimes both
the sweet scent of cigarettes and semen on your lips
July 4th, 2021 10:05 p.m
On this day you chose to do something that broke my trust with you.
It ended too soon.
I am broken
I’m aching
I am feeling pain
Now I just want to be numb...
Lexington, VA has caved to the woke mob. Lexington has distanced itself from their heritage and VMI removed the Stonewall Jackson monument. Keep em Flying! Flag the town! VMI Cadets and Lee and Jackson have been dishonored by woke politicians. #boycottLexington
Free of Your Lie
How could you look me in the eye
And mutter such a grand lie
Without any thinking
Your eyes unblinking
Not caring as you walk away
Having undoubtedly nothing to atone or to say
As I bleed out from all the shame
Inflicted from your blasphemous blame game
How could you look me in the eye
And mutter such a grand lie
While giving your once friendly smile
That has now become toxically vile
Seeing your smile at school used to cut me
It left numerous scars on my heavy hearted body
Now it is a worn down blade to me
As I finally roam ever so free
I know nobody cares and I'm not doing this for fun or something like that. I did something wrong to my best friend, I forgot to say some important things to her related to education. I swear I didn't do it knowingly . I said sorry and she said everything was fine and stuff. But now we don't talk like before, not texting at all. I tried to talk with her but she replied in one word or two. I don't know what to do anymore so I posted funnny things in my story and I rarely put any post in my story but whenever I did that she always replied. I tried that to see if she will reply or not. I posted in my story for 3 days continuously she watched them but never replied. This is the end right. I'm so easy as a person to be left behind and people always did that to me. But every time I moved on. But now, I'm thinking should I even try to make friends anymore. Because what's the point ?! I'm always replaceable.
