mostly dark academia shitposting - any pronouns
242 posts
listen. I know every year we all go "I wish good things will happen !" "I want my life to turn around !" and it gets stronger when we're starting a new decade. But things won't change if you don't make them. Jumping on opportunities isn't enough ; you need to create them. You want to be well read ? Read a lot ! Meet new people ? Go out and initiate conversations ! Get a new job ? Actively look for one, or more !
Whoever can tell me what they think Hamlet’s favorite meme would be (and gives a good, solid explanation) will get a great prize. Promise.
Hamlet: Drank the liquid inside of my magic 8 ball and I’ve been predicting the future all day. My uncle says it was just normal water but whatever he dies tomorrow anyways.
Claudius: *dies the next day*
Hamlet: *holding bloody sword* See, I told you!
Hamlet: Do you have the time?
Horatio: For you, Hamlet? Hamlet, are you joking? Are you joking me? Hamlet. I will always have time for you. My time may be precious but you are more so. Hamlet, you… are a shining pearl in a sea of mediocrity. I would do anything for you.
Hamlet: No, like what time is it?
Ophelia: You looked stressed.
Hamlet: Thanks, it’s the stress.
Gertrude: Where have you all been?!
Hamlet: Oh, just out dealing with things way beyond our maturity level.
Hamlet: You came up to my desk and said ‘This may sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you’re about to eat has expired.’
Horatio: That was the moment you knew you liked me?
Hamlet: Yep.
Horatio: ...Can we make it a different moment?
Horatio: Hamlet is such a nice person underneath the part that hates everybody!
Laertes, looking at Hamlet: What the fuck is he doing now?
Horatio: ...His best.
Hamlet: I sure showed those guys, huh?
Hamlet: Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying?
Ophelia: The stars are beautiful tonight, right?
Horatio: Yeah.
Ophelia: You know what else is beautiful?
Ophelia and Horatio, simultaneously: Hamlet.
Hamlet: I am a simple being. I see anything, I have a crisis
Hamlet: I’m giving up personhood to become a full-time abstract concept.
Shakespeare: And in Act 5, Scene 2, I will sprinkle in the fact that Horatio is gay
Hamlet: Bad news: My uncle locked us out of the castle.
Good news: We didn’t have to wait along for a locksmith.
Bad news: Laertes finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks and has tried to unlock more of my Tragic Backstory ™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured it was the kind of skill that would impress cute people.
Good news: A cute girl saw me do it.
Bad news: It was Ophelia, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry over a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, She’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.
status plays a part in this with the sebastian-antonio and hamlet-horatio dynamic but corollary to that other post another devastating pronoun thing at work here is when the character who privately uses thou and publicly you for the other character (beatrice, horatio, antonio) is then thoued by the other one (benedick, hamlet, sebastian) but they still refuse to drop the you :(
the most heartbreaking part of hamlet really is the whole “goodnight sweet prince” part because when horatio says “and angels sing thee to thy rest” he is using the intimate form of thou, and it’s the first time he ever does it. hamlet consistently uses the intimate form of thou for horatio (only when they’re in private though, which – if shakespeare intentionally wanted to give their relationship homoerotic subtext, which he totally did – shows that hamlet wants to keep his romantic love for horatio a secret to the greater public) but horatio, being the respectful person he is and also given the fact that if he were to use the intimate form of thou it would pretty much be a romantic confession, never ever uses thou. except when after hamlet dies. when it’s too late.
here hamlet is, dying in horatio’s arms, asking horatio if he ever held him in his heart. and horatio doesn’t get a chance to reply. hamlet dies. only then does horatio realize his mistake of not confessing sooner
nothing is better than finding a walking stick
Time to play a game called is what I’m upset about legitimate or am I just being fucking stupid
“I want to speak to a manager,” the middle-aged woman said in her stern I-used-to-be-a-soccer-mom-ten-years-ago voice, looking down at me over the top of her Gucci reading glasses.
A wicked grin split across my face and the gates of Hell opened up behind me, releasing a gust of hot wind that whipped my apron around my body and forced the woman to shield her face. Demons came forth, dancing around in flames with songs of, “She wants to speak to a manager. Did you hear that? She wants to speak to a manager!” before erupting into earsplitting shrieks of laughter, none louder than my own cackling.
I took in the woman’s look of utter horror before my eyes rolled back into my head and I growled,
“I am the manager.”
sometimes its just like *street lights reflecting off the wet asphalt at night* maybe life isnt so ugly after all
my hobbies include making hot tea, going to the library and daydreaming a lot
some of my favorite moments from history of the entire world, i guess
part 1 | part 2 | bonus
literally anything
What makes you think that hitting a child will educate them? It’ll just traumatize and scare them. Don’t be disgusting.
KINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
The older I get the more I don’t see the point in talking
Maybe this is just a symptom of BPD but does anyone else ever feel emotions so intensely they almost want to throw up
Like when I’m angry I’m angry and other feelings like guilt or emptiness make me want to die.
sure, when my grandfather fought nazis and fascism he was “a hero” and “on the right side of history” but when i do it im “way too sensitive” and “no better than they are”