No You Don't Get Context - Blog Posts

watching lord of the rings w my friends and

“granddaddy gandalf”

“no, he’s grandalf”

&

“this movie just makes me want to play elden ring you know that right?”

“i want to elden my ring”

&

“it’s bilbo baggins!”

“no, it’s dildo baggins.”

“nah, it’s didlo haggins”

&

“i want gandalf to open my door”

&

“it’s jesus!”

“it’s cate blanchett”

“who’s to say cate blanchett isn’t jesus?”

&

“pretty lady with a sword!”

&

“I murder spiders on sight this is my punishment” - friend who is terrified of spiders

&

“i am no man” - the movie

“marry me!!”

&

((pippin has just found merry after the battle for gondor))

“kiss him! kiss him!! tell him that you love him!”

&

((Sam has just stabbed an orc to save Frodo))

“It’s Sting!”

“FRODO ITS YOUR LOVER!!”

&

“but what if sam just wants to make gardens? i’d let him”

&

“aww, gimli and legolas are besties”

&

“yo, frodo just actually needs to go outside and touch some grass”

“he’s already outside he just needs to touch some grass”

&

“no this is perfect sam is like ‘i’m so gay for you’ and frodo’s like ‘i’m actually asexual but thank you’”

“… anyways now kiss”

&

“ORLAAANDO BLOOM”

“orlando blooom”

“i want him to look at me like that”

&

((frodo just woke up))

“imagine if random characters from pirates of the caribbean walked in”

“no no no imagine voldemort just fuckin walks through the door-”

&

((gandalf places crown on aragorn))

“ GRYFFINDOR”

&

“AWW THEY KISSED ON THE MOUTH! IN PUBLIC!”

“I would let him (aragorn) lick my teeth”

&

“why are hobbits so frikin hot?”

&

((elf says something in elvish))

“shut the fuck up i don’t speak french”

&

“how can you call this movie a masterpiece when no men kiss each other on the mouth?”

“straight people are still valid”

“no”

&

“NIPPLE DOORS”

Waffle House

Me: I'm talking to another Douma and who does he think he is? Peter Pan?

Tsuun: HAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH I WANNA SEE

Me: HE JUST SAVED YUMI'S LIFE AND SAID "you can thank me by getting breakfast with me" BRO YUMI IS NOT A HIGH SCHOOLER

Me: SHE'S 250 THAT'S OLDER THAN HE IS

The Audacious Tsuun: Why won't you go to Waffle House with him?

Tsuun: Go to Waffle House with Douma

Me: BECAUSE THERE AREN'T ANY WAFFLE HOUSES IN 19th CENTURY JAPAN

Tsuun: THE 19th CENTURY JAPANESE VERSION OF WAFFLE HOUSE THEN

Me: THERE IS NONE

Tsuun: GO TO A HOUSE WHERE THEY'RE EATING WAFFLES

Me: WAFFLES DIDN'T EXIST THEN EITHER

Tsuun: WHAT

Tsuun: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Me: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND WAFFLES

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@tsuunytsuun I'm looking at you