Older Sister - Blog Posts

When I was little I was homeschooled and I was a bit behind on learning to read I think, I was so excited for when it would be my turn to learn to read and begged my grandma and older sister to read to me all the time, I learned to read eventually but I don't like to read on my own, my grandma and sister had read the black stallion and black beauty to me so many times I could read them on my own but for the most part I wouldn't, I would always run up to my grandma or sister and beg them to read the old books to me, they always said why? You can read them yourself now, you don't need me, most of the time with a little persuasion they would still sit down with me on the blue couch in the white room and read a chapter or two of whatever book I had requested, I finally know the words for why I wanted to read with them when I could have easily done it myself, I didn't necessarily want to read the book for the story, the point wasn't reading the story, the point was sharing the story with them, I enjoyed their company and wanted to share a minimally engaging activity with them so I could revel in their presence and enjoy their gentle companionship

My sister uncle and grandma are all moving this summer so it will just be me and my dad and i have never felt more alone. On the bright side we get to have a library/game room

Sisters. :-)

*Trigger Warnings: Descriptions of verbal and emotional abuse, su*c*d*l thoughts, PTSD symptoms, self-deprecation, anxiety, and depression.* Monday, Nov. 7th, 2022 Part 2

4:37pm

Here’s what I would say to her:

“To Angel,

I would like to have an open conversation please… I’ve been holding in a lot of stress and anxiety surrounding you, that I just don’t know what to do with. I feel so stifled, and like I’m only able to say or do certain things to avoid any negative responses or retaliation from you. I haven’t appreciated the way that you have spoken to me lately, when you are bringing up issues that you that you want to address with me. It comes off as condescending and that there’s no consideration for me in the “conversation”. And while mentally, I know that you are not coming from an ill place, emotionally and how I respond physically, I can’t tell whether or not I should be guarded with you. Because I’m scared… of what and how you will say things. 

When you are trying to give me advice, you don’t ask for consent, or if I have any experience in the matter. When you’re trying to teach me, it’s very abrasive and as if I’m dumb to not have known it before. When you are telling me to fix something or reminding me or helping me, it never feels like just that. It’s as if I’m being scolded like a child, or that I need to meet your standards and expectations of me. I’m starting to react to you talking to me as if I’m on the watch for an ambush.

There are better ways to approach these “conversations” that will be easier for me to receive, but I hate feeling like I’m walking on eggshells with you. I have processing issues that affect my memory and I’m recovering from severe, disordered eating habits, and it’s going to take a lot longer than 3 weeks for me to learn all the ways you like for the house to be maintained. So, instead of speaking to me in such a brash manner, I would greatly appreciate and prefer if you could change how you bring up issues or topics with me. Especially so that it comes off in the way you intend.

I feel like you disregard how many times I have said that I feel that I have to make myself small in a way that is so far from what I mean. I don’t feel like my being here in this place and this new facet of our relationship has really cemented yet, but you have fallen into this pattern of interacting with me as if you know me so well. It’s not the same for me, not even close. I’ve not started feeling like myself again like I should, and while my days here have been lighter and easier to deal with, it’s only that and nothing more. 

You have no idea of how I am actually doing or feeling or thinking because I don’t feel comfortable sharing it with you, nor do you properly check-in with me. At least, without it being in comparison to yourself. I’m literally alive only because you want me to be, and yet, I feel like I’m being picked apart and belittled for not saying or doing things the way you would. It’s controlling and does not make me want to approach you for anything other than what you must know. 

Like, I feel like I am just now learning who you are, and that you don’t feel the same because you keep saying that “you know me so well”, but you don’t. Not with us only building a relationship 3 years ago because, remember, we grew up on opposite sides of the country! There’s so much you don’t know, and it doesn’t feel like you even notice that you don’t. Yet, you jump to speaking to me in ways that I don’t need or want at this time. 

I just need a gentler deliver that isn’t accented with a vicious tone to then be excused by saying you want to continue these “open conversations” when you’re finished, when it has NEVER FELT MORE ONE-SIDED.

And, if it feels like you have to change the way you communicate, in order to talk with me, then I’m really sorry to have asked for such a truly difficult task like this, but I really need this at this moment in time.”

Part 1

what if i kept annoying my older sister by talking so much about something i rlly like (monster high) and she just pins me over and starts plowing into me but forces me to still talk about what i was talking about and shes heard enough about it that she knows what questions to ask and when i get an answer wrong and everytime i get something wrong thats another ruined orgasm or i could be like norm

"𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴, 𝘏𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘕𝘢𝘰𝘵𝘰"

I do love my collar Daddy

She loves her collar

sister

omg i love my sister so much she is so cool and awesome and amazing shes so cool

shes 22, we have a 7 year age gap (im 14) and for the first 10 years of my life i hated her and she hated me but we've moved past that and now she told me she thinks im kinda cool!!

some things about my sister:

she is a stoner (used to smoke a lot but now just does edibles)

she takes the LSATS for fun (her highest score was like a 172 or something)

she is VERY COOL (self explanitory)

she called me a tranny for like 3 years before i came out, and it was really annoying bc she could call me a tranny but i couldn't call her it back (SHE IS TRANS DONT COME FOR HER SHE IS AMAZING AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH)

she loves me

I LOVE HER SO MUCH

An older sister and baby brother moment :) (my OCs)

Being the oldest daughter that’s also bisexual means you get the “dad stank” after you shit or fart. Meaning I get to legalize nuclear bombs everytime I eat anything

having siblings is knowing the best places to hide your snacks because you dont want to share it with that gremlin