Post Breakup - Blog Posts

erase me from your memory.

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pairing: hyunjin x gender neutral reader

content warnings: post-breakup healing, sadness

rating: 13+

summary: half a year after you and hyunjin break up, you find that you’ve somehow healed.

🌱 untitled — hyunjin & i.n (2 kids’ show)

His name is one that your journal has known for a very long time – and it will be one that it will never forget. Pages upon pages you find him embedded into every word you poured out, every tear, every smile was written for him without you realizing it. Your entire world spun around him, and just as soon as he waltzed into your life, he left.

Please erase me from your memory and go find your happiness, he’d said to you then as you begged him to stay. He didn’t seem to understand that his touch would forever be tattooed onto your skin, his passing love would always be yearned by your heart, and his words would forever burn in your mind. Hwang Hyunjin would be a love that you were determined to remember for as long as humanly possible, because although his feelings for you had fizzled out over time, it was once as intense and real as the sun that rises and falls every day.

You weren’t angry at him anymore, a part of you had finally come to understand that nothing lasts forever, and that Hyunjin was your dream love and would always remain just that – a dream. All that was left of you was a shell of who you’d once been before him, though there was a certain hollowness that ate you up from within. Dying of heartbreak was something you thought was real when you watched the door close behind him for the very last time, spending weeks catching glimpses of his shadow from the corner of your eyes and deluding yourself into thinking you’d heard his voice as you waited for your shattered heart to finally give up pumping your blood through your veins. A life without Hyunjin was one you didn’t think was worth living.

However, half a year has gone by since you spoke to him last, and you were still alive, still breathing. You were currently in the same park in which you’d met him some years ago, sitting on the very same bench in which you’d sat with him for hours after first meeting as you chatted about everything and nothing and unknowingly fell headfirst into love. And although the memory sent a twinge of pain, you realized for the first time in what had felt like forever that you could breathe properly and that you were okay now. Most of all, you understand now that Hwang Hyunjin would be a memory that you would look back on with fondness when you’re older and wiser – perhaps he will be the love you would tell your children about when they inevitably get their hearts broken for the first time. You were grateful for the opportunity to know such a unique soul, and to have had him in your arms if only for a brief moment.

You saw him from afar today at the coffee shop at the end of the street, but you don’t think he noticed you. This was what compelled you to return to this park for the first time in a while, because he looked well and healthy. He had carried on with his life, and maybe you have as well. All you could really hope was that he remembered you as well, and that when he found his next lover, if he hadn’t already, he thought of you and the beautiful life you had once planned together.

Please erase me from your memory and go find your happiness, he’d said to you then as you begged him to stay. He thought forgetting would be a blessing, but you didn’t need to forget him to feel okay or to find happiness. You didn’t think he understood the impact he’d had in your life and that was okay.

You are fine. You are alive and well, but most importantly, you are healing.

word count: 644 🌱 posted: 12 • 01 • 2023

💬 a note from green;

after posting jeongin’s you can blame me if you want, i listened to the song again. somehow doing it made me think of my own journal — specifically from when i was going through my first heartbreak. it was a bittersweet experience, and i was able to see how much i’d grown since then. for the first time since i thought about my ex, i realized i was grateful for the pain. without such pain that they caused me, i wouldn’t have learned what i wanted and needed out of a relationship.

to anyone who’s going through a breakup: no one dies from a broken heart. one day you will wake up and your heart won’t ache anymore. it won’t feel empty. a day will come when you will smile again, fall in love again, and look back at this moment with pride as you take notice of your growth.

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# @grandpafelixx

this year was just nto the year for love for us i dont think.

we started off by getting broken up with by our longterm (four year) partner

then ghosted by our other partner

then was pulled along by a friend who almost seemed to like us

and now weve been broken up with by our year long partner

im kind of just unfeeling about it now, like ive gone through so much outside the realm of love recently and this breakup is just sort of an addition to the growing pile of things i have to eventually deal with. it does help a bit that we have so many friends that we just didnt really talk to much anymore because we didnt see the need to. we saw our future in black and white. wed get through college, get married, move in together, and grow old. i didnt see the need to have any friends included in that outside of my partner’s friends. but now im kind of realizing that that was just the black and white thinking of my autism, i still am human, i still need friends, and now that im losing several because its very likely they wont talk to me anymore now that our fiancé broke it off, i need them more than ever. and so i messaged a few of my older ones, ones that i havent talked to in months, ones that before my fiancé i thought of as my closest most reliable friends and it really cheered me up. hearing them call me bestie and go crazy as i told them whats happened, about me graduating, about me getting a job, about me going to college, and about me getting my diagnosises. and it really made me realize that if someone isnt willing to put in effort to help a relationship grow properly then i shouldnt be expected to either. i guess my fiancé was right about that part, i did put a lot of effort into our relationship and they didnt. i wish they had so we couldve avoided this mess but truly im almost glad now because i would have missed out on realizing that so many people care about me and really would hate it if i just disappeared off the earth. like all these people would miss me so dearly and thats helping me really think through so many of my issues right not. a lot of my stress related to thinking i wasnt good enough or that i wasnt trying to be what they wanted me to be is just sort of gone because these people are my people and they know me for me. these people ive started talking to again have known me for almost as long as the system was known. and im glad to see that i dont have to hide certain parts of myself or pretend to be someone else around them. -sully

{disclaimer: if my ex sees this, this isnt meant as something negative towards you, you tried your hardest and well always love you for that, im sorry it came to this and we really would love to at elast still be friends. this post is just us having the realization that we arent alone and were allowed to have friends outside of you and your friends}

"Why am I easy for you to forget like that?"

CW: Post Break-Up, Angst, Coffee Shop AU

You walk into your local coffee shop. You absolutely despised going on Wednesdays at this specific time because,

“Good morning, love. The usual?” “Daniela, you left me two months ago.” “Yes, I know.”

She rolls her eyes as she prepares your coffee, just the way you like it. "Do Wednesdays still strike you as hard as they did before without me?" Daniela gave you a sly grin. She has no right to say that! "Please, Daniela, don't start this shit. I'm not in the mood."

"When my lips were on you, Wednesdays weren't so unpleasant." “Daniela.” “Sorry! I can’t help but flirt!”

Your card is clenched between your fingers. "I'm done with you, Daniela. You abandoned me, and it hurt." Before she sighs, her eyes dilate. "Yes, I'm aware, and I apologize." She had a genuine look on her face.

“Give me the goddamn coffee so I can forget you for the week.”

She instantly snatches the coffee back, looking at you with a broad-eyed expression. Tears slowly start to well up in her eyes. “Why am I easy for you to forget like that? You just get your coffee and my face vanishes from your mind?” She clutches it in her fingers. You see the cup start to bend.

“Ideally, but that doesn’t happen, now does it? I still come back here.” “You are so full of shit!” “Says the one who left in the fucking first place!”

The lid of the cup pops off and the coffee splashes out. The two of you made a scene. Exactly what you needed this morning. “Look what you did, Daniela!” She throws the cup down and when she looks at you, it is pure hatred. She throws down the apron. She walks out of the cafe, and disappears in the middle of the road in an angry swarm of flies.