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Tlh Memes - Blog Posts
Thomas: Where do you want to be in five years, Alastair?
Alastair: *under his breath* Hopefully in your bed
Thomas: What was that?
Alastair: I sAid HoPEFULLY DEAD!
Will: Octopi could hug four people simultaneously, because Raziel bless them with the ability to do so. However, they don’t hug even one person because they made a covenant with the devil. Any questions?
Matthew, raising his hand: Where’s Lucie? I just wanted to visit her-
Will: In a better place, now sit down immediately.
Christopher: Matthew, what’s a metaphor?
Matthew: “My life is a train wreck”
Christopher: I know, but what’s a metaphor?
Alastair: Date me
Thomas: What?
Alastair: I said… mate with me
Thomas: Excuse me?
Alastair: I said-
Thomas: You hate me
Alastair: Yes, that
*At the end of Chain of Gold*
Tatiana: THIS DEMON’S SPAWN BURNED MY HOUSE TO THE GROUND!
Lucie: What is HAPPENING?
Thomas: James’ getting served
Christopher: But I haven’t even ordered yet
Inquisitor Bridgestock: ORDER
Christopher: Uh, yeah, a Cheeseburger please!
Belial: Hey! Wake up!
Matthew, sleepily: Huh?
Belial: I just murdered your whole entire family!
Matthew: But I live alone-
Belial: Huh- then who are those people in your house?
Matthew: There are people in mY HOUSE??
Belial: Well, not anymore, dumb bitch, you could’ve died, you’re welcome
James: *aggressively banging his stele against the desk*
Cordelia: Don’t be mean to the poor thing! How would you like it if I banged you against the desk?
James:
Cordelia:
James: I don’t know the right answer to that question.
Elias: Alastair, I can give you things that last forever!
Alastair: You mean actual parental love?
Elias: I meant trauma
Thomas: So, does everyone know what they’re doing?
Matthew: You mean in life or the plan?
Thomas:
Matthew: because I’ve no idea of either.
Matthew: You consider me a friend?
Cordelia: Sure. What else would I consider you?
Matthew: I don’t know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against your family? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.
Alastair: When I die, you’re going to piss on my grave, aren’t you?
Matthew: Oh yes, most definitely
Alastair: Cool, just checking
Alastair: You’re perfect in every way
Thomas: what
Alastair: I said you’Re tErRIBLE AND PROBABLY GAY, Thomas!
Alastair, under his breath: please be at least a little gay…
James: Please tell me I’m imagining that I got drunk and claimed I was the King of All Ducks.
Matthew: I would, but then I’d be lying to the King of All Ducks.
Jesse, blushing: So, I guess we are boyfriend and girlfriend now
Lucie: Only on one condition
Jesse: What?
Lucie: I get to be the girlfriend
Thomas: I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief
James: Did you miss me?
Matthew: I always miss you. 24/6.
James: Why not 24/7?
Matthew: I worship Oscar Wilde on Sundays.
Lucie: Once, when I was younger, I tried to start a gang.
Jesse: How did it go?
Lucie: It turned into a book club.
Jesse:
Lucie: Actually, it was just Mum, Dad, Jamie and me and Bridget used to make cookies.
Matthew: I would walk through fire for the Merry Thieves!
Matthew: Well, not FIRE because it’s dangerous, but like a super humid room
Matthew: Not too humid because… you know, my hair
Matthew: Hey, do you know anybody that can teach me how to play the trumpet?
Thomas: Why do you need to learn how to play the trumpet?
Matthew: I wanna wander around and annoy Charles by playing it.
Thomas, thinking about how Charles mistreated Alastair: Technically you don’t need to know how to play it to do that.
Matthew: You have opened my eyes, Thomas
Alastair, a guest: Can I ask about the menu, please?
Matthew, a waiter: The men I please are none of your business.
Anna: Please peer pressure me into getting this report done
Matthew: Do it or you’re straight
Anna: I said peer pressure, not threaten.
TSC books: A summary
Matthew: My computer is broken
Thomas: Just give it to the IT guy
Matthew: Okay
Matthew, walking outside and tossing the computer into a sewer: Good luck
Officer: I heard you got pot
Matthew: *holds up flower pot* You mean this?
Officer: Oh, ok. What you growing?
Matthew: Weed
James: Hey, uh, so I’ve been reviewing this itinerary and I don’t really get it.
James: Are you sure we should release 300 live doves indoors? Won’t that get kind of messy?
Matthew: That’s why we feed them glitter, Jamie.
Christopher: I can’t believe that Britain is 1903 years old!
Matthew: You idiot, that’s how old Earth is
James: No way! :O
Matthew: I can’t believe you two didn’t know that!
Thomas, about to cry: They’re so fucking stupid
Christopher: I almost got surprise adopted yesterday
Thomas: What?
Matthew: He almost got kidnapped
Thomas: Oh, okay
Thomas: WAIT WHAT
Cordelia: I made a marshmallow Alastair, see? His arms are crossed because he’s mad at all the other marshmallows for annoying him. Do you like it?
Alastair, clearly emotional: It’s okay
Cordelia: So, tell me about yourself
Matthew:
