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Sucide - Blog Posts
weak but still standing.
all the words that flow through me, never ending verbal sea. none of which amount to anything... not near what I think they mean. All these thoughts Above me circling. pondering if, and what if there was... some meaning? What could it be. What will this bring? wounds in mending. shaping me. Tear it down, now build it up. break my heart but you cant break me. no matter how close you think I seem.
I wish I was hated in all my social media, so I could cut myself, not thinking about that someone is caring for me.
I want to commit suicide.
The fact that something could go wrong, and I'd have committed su!c!de already, scares me shitless. I have no fucking idea how I managed to not commit with constant su!c!dal thoughts, but I've managed.
I'm f#cked up.
I'm tired, I'm tired of everything. All my hobbies became a daily routine, and I don't feel anything towards them. My friends started to avoid me after my vents, and I completely understand this. I'm tired of school, and I haven't got any straight to just get up or change clothes after school. All I think about is s3lf-h@rm and how much I want to commit su!c!de. I feel like my life is trying to force me to do it. I feel like it'll happen. And I know that I will commit su!c!de.
I was about to jump off the window right now, but remembered that I'm living on the 3rd floor, so even if I jump, I'll survive. But this window is almost telling me to commit su!c!de!!
I tried to k!ll myself by cvtting my veins, but the saddest thing is that the knife didn't reach them.
TW/CW: SU!C!DE
Can't describe how much I want to commit su!c!de. Just the thought of my body laying in the snow, which soaked with my bl00d, while my phone recording me and thousands of people could see how I struggled makes my desire only bigger. Looks like I'll end up jumping off the roof... Anyways who cares...
TW: CW: SU!C!DE PLAN.
Okay, okay... I think I've suffered enough, so... This is how I wanna end my life.
Firstly, I've decided that I wanna jump off the roof, because this seems the best way to do it. I already found a high-rise building, so I just need to come in, and when I wait for people to open the door for me, I'll start a livestream. Before I jump, I'll cvt myself, and I'll cvt so much that I'll be a piece of meat. After that I'll jump off the roof, hoping that someone will remember me. I'll also wear my favorite clothes, because if die I'd prefer to die only in it.